Saturday, January 26, 2008

Medical Mishaps

Sometime I don't blame laypeople for ( erroneously ) assuming that doctors earn the megabucks.

Judging by the hefty amount private medical practitioners charge in our fair city, I shouldn't be at all surprised by the assumption! And if Charming Calvin's reports are true, it's a pittance compared to the shockingly extortionate amount charged by the doctors in Beijing.

Inevitably falling prey to the horrid winter bug, Charming Calvin has been battling several bouts of fever and lethargy for the past few days but has stubbornly refused to seek treatment since he holds an inexplicable prejudice against the local physicians. But after what seemed like several hours of relentless prodding by me, Charming Calvin finally acquiesced and agreed to pay them a visit.

Now, doesn't this look like a face you can trust?

Much to his horror - and mine, after the initial examination, counseling and the prescription, the bill came up to almost a thousand dollars.


For a flu. I could have just dropped by a pharmacy and fedexed him the antibiotics.

How could a medical bill possibly cost that much? Even for a foreigner white devil, surely it shouldn't be a thousand bucks for a simple cough and cold? Surely the antibiotics given wasn't some secret panacea passed down by the sages past from the Tang Dynasty? Or did they somehow perform some magical curative moxibustion while they were examining?

With the price of western medicine, no wonder the local Chinese depend so much on traditional remedies. Maybe it's time Calvin dragged out that old crockpot and started boiling some rejuvenating herbs to balance out his yin and yang ( no doubt out of whack ).

Calvin : Doctor, I have a cough.
Dr Mistopheles : You should have an X-ray done.
Calvin : Okay.
Dr Mistopheles : Then some blood investigations. Some sputum and blood cultures, perhaps a thorough septic workout. And also a CT Thorax and an MRI.
Calvin : Is that all required? I only have a cough and cold.
Dr Mistopheles : Maybe even an angiogram and a endoscope while you're here.
calvin : Hmm.. maybe I should have bought some chrysanthemum tea.

That seems to be the only plausible method I could possibly find to explain how the bill could have amounted to so much. Short of the hospital actually having marble floors, diamond-encrusted elevators and hunky bellboys on every floor!


joshua said...

now that is a mishap indeed. a financial mishap, i mean.

like whoa... was it at some fancy hospital? no friendly neighbourhood GP nearby?

or maybe, they are prescribing miracle cure-you-within-the-hour kinda meds. WHOAAA

Lewis said...

At that price, I hope that the INITIAL EXAMINATION that you refer to was lengthy, involved, and may even have included more than just an exam. Yikes.

Ah-Bong said...

kekekeke... i always wonder how come our docs here are so confident with their diagnosis, padahal those admited to House's department, were like, T.T.P for just a plain rash, or erm Pineal Tumor for stunted growth. Given they're admitted to any hospital here, mortality rate would be pretty high I presume. LMAO...

they're just docs being careful. WHOAAA... hahahaha. might've who knows wat bombarstically-outrageous-diagnosis they have in their minds.

sharon said...


FamezGAY said...

anything more than RM40 for a flu or fever i will consider it expensive huh.. this is sooo EXPENSIVE!!!!

Dashing Dan said...

Banyaknye! Ask him to give us a rundown of his bill later.

Queer Ranter said...

Oh no. He's not gonna be a rich expat if this keeps going on!

Janvier said...

Claimable by company kah?

RaisingMercury said...

i cant believe they charged 1k! definitely they are doing more than what they need to do just to con some money out of him =(

David the Man said...

What?!?!?! RM1000 for a medical bill just to treat a simple cold and cough? That's really exorbitant!!! The doctor is literally sucking the money out of Calvin, man! Is that really what the doctor do to diagnose that simple cough and cold? I wondered.

Quentin X said...

Where does the pharmacist come in the picture?

dbv said...

my medical bills come to over $200,000 a year... it's $33,000 just for the medications i have to take... it's an outrage but i'm still here so i'll just keep my mouth shut!!!

savante said...

Shocking, isn't it, joshua! I was amazed at the price! And you thought our hospitals are pricey.

Wish it had. But it didn't, lewis :P UNless Calvin's hiding something.

Hardly confident, ah bong! You just look confident. You take the most likely diagnosis rather than leap to the rarest stuff like the folks in House.

Shocking, right, sharon!

And for a generic antibiotic, famezgay!

He did give me a rundown, dan. Didn't mollify me any.

True also, queer rant.

And thank god it's under claims, janvier.

Possibly te claims had something to do with it, raisingmercury.

Amazing, right, david!

Not sure, quentin. Why? :P

Good God. Yours is even worse, dbv!