Thursday, January 25, 2007

Alternative Roads

There comes a certain point in life when we all stand at a crossroads, wondering which path to take, or even wondering if the road taken was even the right one. My turn hasn't arrived yet so far since all I see ahead of me is a long straight road with several seemingly insurmountable obstacles ahead - but with a destination that I'm somewhat contented with. Certain other desirable detours I'd love to take along the way but I'll come along to that decision once I reach it.

Not everyone is that happy with the road they've chosen though. With the unbearable stress of dealing with downsizing projects, unreasonable clients and far more disapproving bosses, seems like Big Bicep Barry has come to his own unfortunate crossroads lately. Fortunately he has abandoned any wayward plans of running away to set up a lucky tiki / vegetarian alfalfa produce shop on a tropical island somewhere as Beach Bum Barry.

Barry : Not sure what else I can do.
Paul : You could always go back to your primary degree.
Barry : Accounting?
Paul : True. I can't imagine you crunching numbers but you could be the hottie Clark Kent of accounting.
Barry : Hmmm...
Paul : Gym instructor?
Barry : Also possible.
Paul : Hate to tell you this again but male burlesque?
Barry : No!
Paul : Maybe a swimsuit model.
Barry : Not gonna happen. Hate Speedos. Prefer board shorts.
Paul : Hello, have you seen Daniel Craig? HAWT!
Barry : Very funny. Can you imagine me in Speedos? I'd be close to bursting.
Paul : Exactly my point.
Barry : That's not what I meant!
Paul : Can't you just leave me with my prurient fantasies?

Not sure what the man's gonna decide in the end ( not that I was much of a help :P ) but after I talked him down from his highly stressed state I think he might stick it out for a little while longer. After all, it's a family business.

Beach
Beach Bum Barry?

Financial woes have a way of changing one's perspective of course. Charming Calvin has just started on his own road but he's already finding it hard staying the course. Seems like he's questioning whether he picked the right career path especially since there's very little job satisfaction in what he does - and so he claims, very little monetary renumeration as well.

Just like Barry, poor Calvin has shown signs of veering off the engineering highway to find greener pastures in alternative careers such as education. Certainly the last field I'd have chosen myself since not only do I have passing acquiantance with the unforeseen difficulties of being a teacher ( seeing that both my parents have dabbled somewhat in education ), it's quite obvious that I also don't have the required temperament.

Student : Sir, could you explain again?
Paul : I just did that. Twice.
Student : But I didn't understand all that well the first time.
Paul : Tough.
Student : Sir, please.
Paul : Do I have to write it out for you? Perhaps print out little flash cards?
Student : Uh.
Paul : Google it!

Brandon

Of course if the student resembled a hot version of Chris Evans / Brandon Routh even in the slightest, things could be different.

Hottie legal-aged student : Sir, could you explain this again?
Paul : No problem. Take off your shirt. Maybe the tight tee is constricting your thoughts.
Hottie legal-aged student : But ...
Paul : On second thought, take off your pants too.

Hmmm... I'd be tempted to reconsider my poor teaching attempts but even then, I'd still be wishing sorely for a caning rod ( Oooh... S&M! ). Patience isn't my strong suit, I'm afraid.

No, I am not cut out to be a teacher. Learnt my hard lesson years back during my house officer days when I attempted - and failed - to guide a budding student ( who'd found herself sadly stuck in the hospital after an appendicectomy ) through the divine art of geometry. Only the Hippocratic Oath kept me from strangling the sadly bewildered girl, I'm sure.

26 comments:

Theo said...

I wouldn't mind taking my pants off if you were my naughty teacher, mate!

:)

strapping.shane said...

Google it.

Sigh... I've been hearing enough of that already, despite being a cutie enough to warrant proper treatment. =P

alliterative.allvin said...

what would you rather teach - medicine, english, or aesthetic anatomical analysis? :)

connerkent said...

Barry : Very funny. Can you imagine me in Speedos? I'd be close to bursting.

Paul, there is one thing your blog and food blogs have in common: they make me drool.

Yum.

p/s: could you please please please please please please please PLEASE email me a pic of Barry (with his permission of course) fully clothed or... otherwise *wink*

Anonymous said...

Diapproving bosses in a family business? Hmmm. Poor guy.

Anonymous said...

Diapproving bosses in a family business? Hmmm. Poor guy.

Anonymous said...

Diapproving bosses in a family business? Hmmm. Poor guy.

Anonymous said...

Diapproving bosses in a family business? Hmmm. Poor guy.

Michael said...

How long before the crossroads become a dead-end, because, fork me, but I've been standing in this same spot for over a year.

Anonymous said...

Tell Calvin that all he needs is a business degree in addition to his engineering degree. He will be able to get a job on Wall Street and in no time his Christmas bonus will be in the seven digits. When the money starts rolling in he wouldn't care if the job is boring or not. Barry should take engineering classes and follow the same path. They should then lavish you with opulent presents for authoring this blog which pointed them in the right direction. My take is a mere 65%

Michelle who has had a student drop his pants before, but that was because at the mature age of 5 he still couldn't hold it all the way to the bathroom.

Anonymous said...

yes, but WHAT will you be teaching?

business and engineering you say, michelle?

Pants pAnts paNts panTs pantS...

Anonymous said...

paul,

adoh!

Anonymous said...

hottie student to paul: sir, you don't seem to be concentrating...
:P

Anonymous said...

Don't worry Paul, I'll be your teacher. I'm very good at being bossy and mean and it doesn't bother me a bit.

That's 30 compressions soldier!
You call that 100 per minute?
That's WEAK, YOU'RE WEAK.
Put some back into that you minion. LOL

Is minion a word?

I know. I know. Google it.

Anonymous said...

You know paul, you could always teaching something outside of the educational field. Something sexy that can never be taught publicly where they have to have private lessons.. if you get my drift.. :)

thompsonboy said...

Everyone knows I am the poster child for Love Your Work Else Leave It

Anonymous said...

As a doctor wouldn't you already have valid reasons to ask someone to remove their clothing hmmm?

chase said...

beach bum look is quite hot. Ugh Brandon Routh is so hot as well. I heard he has a huge package

Anonymous said...

ah...i can still remember vividly my cute and hot additional maths teacher...wonder if he ever noticed me drooling all over him...

thanks to him, add.maths has always been my strong subject...

conclusion is, we need HOT teachers!!

Anonymous said...

Well thank God you aren't a teacher then. Students like me, find it hard enough just to ask a teacher a question :P

I hope Barry and Calvin find their paths. Not a nice feeling at all I suppose ♥

Anonymous said...

What you standing on a long straight road for? Got yourself back on the bent road right away!

Anonymous said...

What you standing on a long straight road for? Got yourself back on the bent road right away!

Mr.Brian/Mr.Fletcher said...

I sometimes think it's easier if you like what you're doing.

Even the bad days are more bearable. Unless, of course, when the distractions give your bladder a canine mindset.

But then again, maybe taking a piss in the office garbage can could make your job more enjoyable!

Yen said...

Beach Bum is indeed v hot. I'd love to teach too, but I'm too impatient, unfortunately...

closetalk said...

oooo, i'd luvvvvv to teach! :)
and not necessarily with the caning rod! hehehe... though, the id of a tight tee constricting thoughts does sound good.
:)
ure lucky that u ahvent had the mid twenties career blus yet. :)

savante said...

Naughty theo :)

Proper treatment would mean taking out the straps and the whip, shane.

I think I'd have a try at the last one, aesthetic anatomical analysis, allvin.

Barry? He knows I have a blog but I doubt he'll like having his pics online, connerkent. :P

True, bunny anon.

Standing in the same spot? Time to make a move, michael.

I'm sure he's already read this post, michelle, so let's see what the boys think.

I know, it's hard to concentrate with a hottie student :)

Whoa, Annniiiieieie.... you are tough!

Naughty private lessons by Paul? :)

Unfortunately not everyone can leave it, thompsonboy :) Bet Calvin wishes he could.