Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Life catches up

The new year always seems to be brimming with possibilities and beginnings but for some, it's just another arbitrary check on the calendar. Seems like Whispery Wilhelmina ( and her Wifely Woes ) isn't the only person dealing with some life crises lately.

Two guys who play significant roles in my life have been going through their own annus horribilis recently. Not my ISO of course who tends to glide through life like a trapeze with the greatest of ease, enviably enough.

The Currency Crisis of Charming Calvin

After all this time, I'm afraid I'm actually quite a high maintenance kinda dude. Although I don't mind the occasional roadside teh tarik or economy rice lunch, I tend to gravitate towards the finer things in life especially when it comes to dining out. With all the extravagant dinners in elegant restaurants that we've been to, seems like it's been taking a toll on poor Calvin's pockets as he finds himself verging onto the red at the end of each month.

Maybe I should sing for my supper...

Not that he's resorted to filing for chapter 11 yet ( or taking out loans from the dubious chinese moneylenders with a penchant for avant-garde paint jobs and hacking limbs ) but he's already scanning the perfect spots to set up busking, singing evergreen Chinese melodies for something more than a song.

The Big Bad Business of Big Bicep Barry

Life catches up with Big Bicep Barry as he finds the frustrations of the job finally getting to him. For him, I can truly empathize since I can't imagine driving up and down the West Coast on his black hulking SUV peddling his ample wares to grumpy unappreciative clients while fending off the unwelcome advances of big business broads - not to mention the disapproving scrutiny of his paterfamilias.

Barry : Feel like running away.
Paul : Your dad will just hunt you down. Where is he gonna find a marketing exec like you?
Barry : I'll change my name, settle down on an island paradise somewhere and become a beach / surfer bum. Life will be simple, I will have cheap fish and no stress.
Paul : Not to mention the wooden necklaces you love.
Barry : True.
Paul : You can even benchpress coconuts.

My brilliant earlier ideas for him to debut as a male burlesque dancer were brushed aside as he claimed to be a dim-witted klutz who didn't have the moves. Not sure what he meant by that since I doubt anyone actually pays attention to their exotic dance routine.

It's all about the package, dude!

Maybe I should pack and move...

He wasn't as amused by that spot of whimsy of course but I managed to talk him from ending his life on some godforsaken two-by-four tropical isle by offering to buy him a small cocktail umbrella though.


strapping.shane said...

Seems that kor is not the only one who's broke.

Me too.

Anonymous said...

Feel like I wnet through a few year's expenditure in the last few months. T.T

Anonymous said...

More holes in the pocket to come, it's not even CNY yet.

Anonymous said...

Ya PAY Charming Calvin for SEX.

There. Problem Solved.

Not sure what to do about Bicep Barry - I'm too busy thinking about his big biceps to come up with a solution. LOL!

Perky said...

You can even benchpress coconuts.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I found that so hilarious that I almost fell off my chair! LOL!

Yen said...

Jesse and I are huge foodies in the city. If you ever make it to New York, let us know to send you recommendations!

Anonymous said...

have you considered cooking at all? That would save you guys some money!

And what about bench press coconut trees?? I can just imagine the tan and lean body of BBB.... :-)

Anonymous said...

I just love your alliterations! Sounds like music to my ears. :)

connerkent said...

Tell BBB that he already has a fan-base who would pay just to get a glimpse of his legendary biceps. ;)

Anonymous said...

what a fantastically articulate and well written blog!!!! not to mention hilarious. great stuff. meandered here by accident, through snowie's blog. cheerio.

boocefus said...

Hmmm..m'kay. Get Calvin to take cooking lessons...you too Paul. It's not hard, it's delicious and costs you 'bout 1/4 of what you'd pay to dine out.

You'll have to fight over who does dishes though...

As for bicep barry...several options. If he hates working with his family, quit. Get a new job or retrain for a whole 'nother field. Life's too short to be wasting time in a 9-5 that you can't stand.

My five cents worth...(inflation you know)

Anonymous said...

Maybe its time you pay for calvin's share for those expensive french dinners? :)

nyonyapenang said...

"....something for more than a song..." How much is that actually? LOL

alliterative.allvin said...

"The Currency Crisis of Charming Calvin"

A quadruple alliteration!
And a very elegant and appropriate one too.
Absolutely brilliant!

savante said...

GASP! We should all apply for charity, shane and bunny!

Well, CNY will replenish it some but not by much,w illiam.

Pay Calvin for sex? DOn't even suggest it to him, anniieee :)

At least both of us were amused, perky. He only stared at me for that coconut comment.

Yum Yum Food in New York, yen!

I've seen that body, ian. And it's tan, lean - and bulked up.

Aren't alliterations cute, mark? :)

Wait till I get a picture and post it up then, connerkent.

Thanks, fatboybakes!

Will get a dishwasher then, boocefus. True, been telling BBB that he should find other options and he's seriously considering it.

Did that yesterday, las montanas.

Not sure :) You gotta ask him that, nyonya.

Thanks, allvin :) You can see my other alliterations here and there anyway. How about Whispery Wilhelmina's Wifely Woes?


alliterative.allvin said...

The Currency Crisis alliteration remains my favourite as it was very creatively synthesized.

Did you notice the vertical alliteration in my previous comment? :)