Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Why I Don't Want to be a Girl

Actually heard one of my straight guy mates loudly proclaim that he'd prefer to have boobs and tits. An odd wish, I'd say. Then he turned to me - probably thinking erroneously that I'd have similar ambitions as a homosexual fella.

Eh?

Don't make the mistake of thinking just because I'm gay that I'd want to hand in my penis ( which I adore btw ) for exchange. Wouldn't be gay if I didn't love it now, would I?

And seriously, girls, I love ya. Really I do. But to be a girl?

Sure you have the fabulous dresses, the slinky heels and the drooling attention of the hottest straight men to strut down the corridors ( bloody hell!! ) but I still wouldn't give up my precious manhood to join the estrogen club. We boys might be prone to the occasional testosterone surge that morphs us into imbecilic sex pervs who attempt stupid stunts for attention but hey, I still wouldn't dare walk a mile in a girl's Jimmy Choos.

Let me count the ways.

Parental and societal expectations to act like a virginal abbess just released from seclusion in the nunnery? Cloistered in a convent begging for permission to even leave? Toe the line, keep my voice down and play the part of the submissive hausfrau to some hairy MCP scratching his balls while burping beer? What is up with that? I don't think I could do that for long without reaching for the proverbial hacking knife. Then again, try flexing some muscle and you come off being a ball-breaking leather bitch - and possibly scare off most of your potential suitors.

All Man
You kidding me? Give this all up!?

Wear a slinky dress - and be automatically branded a slut. And worst of all, be judged by your female peers as well. And you know there ain't nothing more chillingly vicious than a bunch of mean teen queens passing judgement! So you can imagine how much ... nicer they get when age - and cellulite - finally catches up with them.

Sure the attention from the straight guys is certainly a welcome bonus. Would be nice to be offered a free drink at the bar once in a while - and not have to crack my aching head thinking of the perfect come-on. Let's not even talk about being summarily rejected countless times by the neighbourhood hottie.

But the occasional uncivilized catcalls and leering grins you girls receive from time to time certainly isn't welcome. Heard more than a few seemingly complimentary wolf whistles when a lonesome fashionista saunters down the street - and usually you see them freeze a little. Try being that alone and vulnerable - then you'd know why the singleton usually rushes off as fast as her towering Manolos can take her.

And this I gotta say... ouch! Monthly cramps. A lil hot water bottle just won't be enough. Think I'd have to take a chill pill - and possibly a few days off with shots of morphine - to contend with the miseries that come every month. Sorry but no can do.

So I'm glad to be a boy.

15 comments:

burnt toast said...

I am happy having a dick. And I am damn glad that I dont have to go through the menstrual cramps. I have seen cousins, colleagues and friends just freeze in pain when their monthly friend drops in for a visit. Not a pleasent visit.

And of course I like the fact that I can fool around and not be judeged so much! :)

Ryan said...

Yeah, glad to be a male. So many things to concern about being a female. Kesian betul!

And yeap I won't give up my manhood just to have hot straight guys' attention. I believe we still can be a good person and catch the hunky hot "bent" guys' attention. :D

Wan Leonardo said...

I second that. :)

travelling, but not in love said...

Well each to his own, but I like my manhood. It's going nowhere.

But I do agree on the fabulous outfits and easy to pull straight men thing...

chase / chubz said...

eyck! no wish of being a girl here.

AJ said...

although i think that i'll be prettier & hotter than my sis if i'm a gurl...ermmmm on second thought...no thanks~!! i still prefer to carry my "lil" bro around...hahaks!!

Bohemia in Calcutta said...

jus (s)trolled into your blog (dont ask me how lol) and fell in lovvvvvvvvvve with it, damn u, u write too well for ur own good :D

i hav jus opened a blog where my frnds in calcutta and outside can all write together n exchange views on art life books pplwatching anything....would be glad if it became a multicultural phenomenon lol...

took the liberty of writing a post on ur blog.

lov the constant stain of s&m tension that underlines all ur wit. would be really glad if u joined our blog n become a regular poster in it. i know its asking too much of u with ur busy schedules n all, but no harm in asking i guess lol if u r interested, do send me ur email id, n i'll send u an invite so that u can write in the blog.

tc.

~Scio Amo

heres the link

http://bohemiaincalcutta.blogspot.com/2008/05/la-la-la-vie-en-rose-being-gay-was.html

Bohemia in Calcutta said...

http://bohemiaincalcutta.blogspot.com/2008/05/la-la-la-vie-en-rose-being-gay-was.html

Bohemia in Calcutta said...

ps; my mail id is scio.immortal@gmail.com

the bohemiaincalcutta profile is shared by more than one person. scio amo is my personal id.

Zyklon22 said...

The bleeding every month is the one thing that keeps me from yearning to jump the wall. Other than that I think I'll make a pretty feisty gal. :)

quicksilverlining said...

don't really see how it's advantageous to have a vagina. although i suppose having internal family jewels does remove a particular weak point.

that said, i think i love my bits enough not to bother entertaining the thought. bleeding out of your soft spots certainly doesn't sound like fun.

KL Fairy said...

I used to want to be a girl just because of the pretty dresses but in the end, nothing beats a good wank with the penis. That is serious good quality time spent with myself.

lada-hitam said...

I'm a girl and I don't want to be a girl. Really. The same reasons as you've said. But, most of all, I want to wear shorts and skimpy tank top without worrying about hairy pits and "uncivilized catcalls and leering grins". And I really want to try wanking with a dick XD I also will be very grateful without the monthly bleeding.

Ah-Bong said...

imagine having a vagina and having it penetrated...

gosh, i could so die of horniness not having fun with any man until after i'm married.

oh yea, i have a stand of being a virgin until marriage. heeee...

lucky males

Queer Ranter said...

Totally agree. Me love me penis and that's all there's to it!