Friday, May 09, 2008

Lickin Lando

Sexual deprivation can certainly drive a person up the wall. Makes a reasonable sorta fella start to thinking all sorts of nasty sexual fantasies over the most innocuous matters.

Makes ya see things that ain't there, I swear.

Even when it comes to my poor, innocent - and newly married - friend. This delicious lil mocha-skinned Orlando Bloom lookalike with the bashful smile and the puppy-dog brown eyes. Known him for a while and I'll admit to the fleeting fantasy of me playing grab-ass and wrestling him in the changing rooms. Nothing too substantial though.

Of course once sexual deprivation hits like a sweltering summer heat wave, anything fleeting starts becoming all too real. And far too persistent to be dismissed.

Over a dining table griping about his wife, just mild teasing humour, Lando started telling us stories about the minor adjustments after saying the sweet I dos. Pledging commitment's easy enough but sharing a home takes some compromise.

Lando : Life's certainly different these day! Came home all hot and sweaty after a football game. Then she complains about the sweat stink.
Paul : Damn. Well I never would complain about a hot sweaty guy after football.

Damn. Newly married wives can be picky. Sorry but I'd have better uses for my wayward tongue than to complain.

All Man
Come lick my sweat!

Reason being.... hell, I'd be leaping on him to lick off the sweat. And in my current sexually deprived state, I'd probably lick the mud and grime off too. Boy was just sitting there innocently stirring his coffee and there I was, thinking of munching on his nips whlie he writhed helplessly on the table. Come on, hot sweaty guy after football? I'd be all over his cleats in seconds. The heavily sex-soaked porn vision was so high-definition clear I could practically taste his salty sweat on my tongue.

Of course I didn't tell him that. I doubt Lando would wanna know more of my kinky alternative sexual mores than he needs to. Would probably scare the poor fella off.

Then again, bet he has an inkling about my dirty thoughts though since he smiled when he saw my drooling tongue. Fortunately for the sake of his unimpeachable virtue - and his budding heterosexuality, there was an unappreciative audience around so I refrained from falling over to bite his neck.

Gosh.

9 comments:

asm@di said...

paul, you naughty, naughty man!

:P

but then again i'm in the same boat as yours and would probably imagine the same kind of thing. man, i need to get laid. oops, did i say that out loud? haha!

Queer Ranter said...

I so get you! I'm high and dry too... Dry Saharan spell. :(

Have you used up your Chinese Exemption yet?

*wink

AJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AJ said...

Sexual deprivation can certainly drive a person up the wall. Makes a reasonable sorta fella start to thinking all sorts of nasty sexual fantasies over the most innocuous matters.

Makes ya see things that ain't there, I swear.


gosh!! i've been feelin' the same way too lately....hahaks!!

i too NEED to get laid....oppps did i say that out loud? *wink2

William said...

I see "things" even when I'm not deprived. :P

David the Man said...

You have sex deprivation, my dear?

daohui said...

Oh My God...LoL

Little Dove said...

I wonder what's with male sweat and pheromones? And why isn't the wife aroused? We need more scientific studies on human pheromones.

Hope you don't mind, I tagged you with a simple meme. :)

savante said...

Guess I'm no the only naughty one, asmadi :P

Hardly high and dry, queer rant. You're in the jungle of hot naked men, dammit. They can't all be straight.

Same problem here, aj. I wonder whether it's the mating season.

That has always been my problem as well, will.

What do you think, david?

Laugh all you like, daohui :)

Will get around to that meme in a while, lil dove!

paul