Smash Em Up

My ISO : Aiya. You really stress meh? Go kill a few folks lah.

I did take his advice actually.

Not literally of course. You know how difficult it is to get blood stains off a white shirt? Last time I even inadvertently stabbed someone was...

Hmm.


The taste of blood!
So where do guys with a lingering bloodthirst ( and some modicum of intelligence ) go when they want to beat someone up? Lowdown hangouts, leather bars and other places of ill repute? Come on, I don't have a deathwish. Since I didn't have a Playstation or even a Wii to play with ( with Charming Calvin still MIA ), I had to hike myself to the nearest arcade. Felt a little apprehensive at first since I feared being the oldest geezer on the block but to my surprise, there were a few suits and ties there as well. Guess I'm not the only kadult around with a secret arcade fetish.

Though I rarely play arcade games these days. Apart from chaperoning Strapping Shane on his embarassing Para Para excursions ( to smirk and deride at will ), I haven't stepped into an arcade on my own for the past decade at the least. Not that I haven't been intrigued by the latest technological schemes to inveigle gullible adolescents into parting with their shockingly hefty allowances but I seem to find too little time on my hands for such juvenile pleasures.

And then I got a break. No doubt I'd sound like a caveman just released from hiding but... dude, do you see the awesome graphics? Damn they surely didn't have that back in my day, young'uns.

And hell, I gotta admit the young'uns are looking purtier and purtier each day. Barely have the time to grab a toggle before I'm swivelling around to catch sight of another prettyboy. But I digress.

What games do I play to release stress? Of course I head for the violent smash-em-ups. I don't do freakish dance movements in public, I don't whack drums mindlessly ( why bother when I prefer breaking skulls ), I have practically no hand-to-eye coordination so no beat-em-ups for me. Come on, I'm a rabid road rage warrior. Encumbered by authoritarian traffic rules in real life, I find myself going just a mite crazy on virtual highways. Though other highstrung folks might enjoy gunning for the proverbial finish line, I find little pockets of insane joy in smashing into the other unsuspecting aspirants and slamming them into walls. No victory laps needed for me.

Competitor : Yes. Yes. Yes! I'm this close to the finish line!
Paul : You think so? Well then finish this!
Competitor : What the - Bloody @&@%$#!!!!

Ah, see them spin and twirl in that elegant balletic fiery dance of death. Burn, baby, burn. Yes, folks when I'm in that driver's seat in the arcade, I'm the God of Destruction.

Of course that is when I'm not running down pretty blond princesses with chihuahuas and elderly grannies pushing prams. :P