Old Man Jeremy

I've come to realize that I am aged. Senile. Decrepit. Bring on the walker and the Segway.

Or at least I should be at my age.

You see, Jaded Jeremy dropped by for a visit yesterday. And no, he didn't drop by as in falling heedlessly from five storeys above to land with a sickening thud. Evidently after his recent nervous breakdown, he hasn't decided to put a period to his life by leaping off the nearest tower as we all feared.


Ouch, was that my knee?
Seems the man is alive - though not hale and hearty as we would suppose. Seriously. Just today I realized that Jaded Jeremy is not only jaded, he's also riddled with multiple medical illnesses usually associated with the elderly. Yes'm folks, evidently I'm at that advanced age where I could be prone to osteoarthritis. Somehow that word brings to mind octogenarian grannies whining endlessly about their rheumatism as they hobble through parks in blustery January wind.

These days though when I think of aching knees and medicated plasters, I'd have to think of creaking Jeremy instead. Not only does he have osteoarthritis ( can we say knee replacement in ten years? ), he also has gastric reflux, migraines and assorted tendinitis here and there. He's just past thirty fergodssakes! And this from a man who's always been far more concerned about his health than I am about mine! I mean I do feel the occasional twinge here and there especially after a bad 24-hour stretch at work but I'm not reaching for the walking stick just yet.

I was astonished by the sudden revelation to say the least - not to mention reluctantly intrigued. Yes. A medical quandary indeed. Can we get Dr Gregory House to come give a suitable diagnosis?