Reap This

Since Charming Calvin admits to a certain morbid fear of horror movies ( picture him hiding under the dependable comfort blanket at home ), I have to depend on Big Bicep Barry for my occasional dose of creepy critters and cleaver-carrying crazies. Unlike Jaunty Jared who has his morbid movie-going mama.

Wonder whether she dresses up as Mrs Bates :P


Ye Gods! Not another horror movie!?
Originally meant to drool shamelessly over Chris Evans in Sunshine but since Barry finished his work early for once ( actually stole out furtively from his factory like a thief in the night ) and we planned for a late supper, we caught an earlier movie at random - which turned out to be the horror flick, the Reaping. Once bitten by the mind-numbing puzzle Re-cycle, we actually thought of giving the flick a miss but decided to bite the bullet and give it a try.

For zealous followers of the Holy Book, you'll have the special treat of seeing the legendary ten plagues that a pissed-off Moses inflicted on those poor disbelieving ancient Egyptians literally come to life. Talk about going all Old Testament! Believe me, you wouldn't want a shower of floppy dead frogs raining down on you either. And we haven't even gotten to the maggots, locusts and boils yet. These old Biblical terrors obviously start with rivers of blood which freak out the good old church-going redneck folk of Haven who place the blame squarely on the bony shoulders of an eerie-eyed blond swamp gal.

But our intrepid heroine ( aren't they all? ) played by the thespian-on-a-break Hillary Swank takes it all in macho stride. Not only is she a dedicated ex-missionary turned brilliant scientist bent on debunking mystical curses and religious miracles, she also manages to look utterly ravishing in a white nightie while making chilly midnight runs around spooky Louisiana bayous.

And look how amazingly selfless she is. Her entire family gets viciously massacred ( somehow missing her! ) as blood sacrifice by superstitious villagers and she remains stoic about the unfortunate circumstances.

Paul : Damn. That's all?!
Barry : Well she does have nightmares about it.
Paul : My endless fury would know no bounds! I would have razed the entire fucking village to the ground!
Barry : Sometimes you scare me.
Paul : Scary would be sucking on the marrow of their misbegotten children.

Don't freak yet. The movie is suspenseful but not scream-till-your-bladder-overflows scary. Barely even had the chance to grab Barry's biceps while screaming my lungs out in fear - only managed a small squeal of surprise when flying frogs fell from the sky.

Flying frogs are now officially on my list of icky items.