Monday, April 09, 2007

An Affair to Remember

Memory lapses.

One of my greatest faults seriously.

Somehow or rather, I simply find it hard to associate names with faces ( amongst other faults linked to a rapidly failing memory ). Easy enough to recall a name and a face immediately after an introduction but give me a day or two, and the name simply slips my distracted mind. Sad to say the neural pathway between my sight and my facial recognition area seems irrevocably impaired, no doubt due to my approaching senility.

With the uninterrupted deluge of patients that flow in and out of the hospital on a daily basis ( not to mention scrolling through the endless blurred faces on the ubiquitous Friendster :P ), I find it gets harder to keep track of the number of faces that I see in a single day. Short of possessing a remarkably unforgettable profile or physique ( someone like a certain memorable Mr Chris Evans would definitely do the trick of jumpstarting my aging neurons! ), I doubt I'll remember a first-time meet.

Takes a while to jog my memory after all. So don't be shocked when I stand and stare for several minutes when you tap me on a shoulder. No worries, I'm not having a petit mal seizure. Half the time while I'm hastily rifling through my ragged memory files, I'm actually thinking of activating the fight or flight response just in case - which was why it was all I could do not to jump out of my skin when this husky young gentleman accosted me amongst the bookshelves in Borders.

The perfect hello
Hi! Remember me?

And this was after I'd been a little busy - I freely admit - admiring the hefty set of his broad shoulders! How was I to know Mr Shoulders would turn to give me a warm smile and a vague look of recognition!

Ethan : Hey, Paul!
Paul : Uhhh... hi?
Ethan : What are you doing here? Off from work?
Paul : Do I know you?
Ethan : We just met again the other day, remember?
Paul : We met?

If we did, why hadn't I groped that ass?

Of course Enthusiastic Ethan was a bit miffed by the fact that I was replying in mentally-challenged monosyllables - or possibly by the fact that I obviously had no clue who the hell he was ( despite ogling his fine biceps just a moment before ). As usual with the sort of monstrously overactive imagination that I have, all sorts of hysterical improbable prospects came to mind as I stood there with deep foreboding wondering whether to cordially shake his offered hand - or to shove a rack of hardcover books his way and make a quick getaway!

After all God only knows who he was!

1) An old forgotten frenemy placed out of sight, out of mind now back to settle some score? A fellow colleague from my medical school who cherished thoughts of burying the proverbial scalpel - in my back?
2) Some unfortunate stalker patient that I had done wrong decades back, impossible though that may sound? Perhaps even a vengeful relative of a patient seeking reparation for an imagined slight?
3) Or worse, could he be amongst the few ( the very very few! ) one night stands that I've somehow overlooked in my little black book! And if he was, would I have forgotten that well-set-up rump - quite obvious even beneath his chinos?

Surprisingly it was the last hypothesis that gave me reason enough to flee the incriminating scene. Hardly going to talk about past sexual misdemeanours with a curious and critical Charming Calvin within suspicious earshot obviously! Even then I kept telling myself that it simply couldn't be - I've been a good boy, the last unaccounted tryst was almost two years back from last count!

And more than two years distant, this boy would surely have been untouchable jailbait?

Fortunately our enthused boy Ethan turned out to be nothing of the sort - turned out to be one of the interns ( why didn't I think of that?! ) that I hadn't recognized out of his medical accoutrements of white coat and tie. Isn't it funny how different seemingly unapproachable doctors can look in normal civilian clothes?

Curiously enough, I think in the somewhat convoluted explanation process I might have inadvertently outed myself yet again. Then again, I have a niggling feeling Ethan might have some interesting secrets of his own :)


xoussef said...

a little black book...
clever boy ;)

Stephen said...

For me, it's people from my schooldays. It's so embarrassing when they recognise/remember you and it isn't mutual.

Jayelle said...

lol!! so many good looking doctors around eh!

charming.calvin said...

*Holding the encyclopedia with both hands and preparing to smack on the head if it was No. 3*

But then, actually I was busy ogling the body, so not listening to anything.

Annie said...

Must be old age Paul.

At some of my doctor appointments, I forget sometimes if I'm the patient or if he's the patient. Good thing I know CPR.

Don't worry, after Calvin smacks you, I'll call an ambulance.

William said...

I'm *very* bad with faces. Like Amanda Priestly, I think I need a PA to tell me the names of people I meet. :D

Peter said...

Are you going to investigate this subject further, Doctor?

closetalk said...

to this post: i know wat u mean. i'm horrid at remembering names myself. faces also. esp on the chatrooms, and then they go: hi, we've aleady met n bonked before. *turns red*

to the previous post: me n my flattie are like dat. :)

Anonymous said...

"approaching senility"?? stop scaring yourself man, 30 is nowhere near senile!

though i really do wonder how you could've forgotten ethan if he were really that hot.. ooh-er. :p

jase said...

bah.. so you can't put a name to a face or a name to a face.. so what !? That's why our phone are equiped with cameras! take some photos! When they ask why, you give them this reason "cause I don't want you to walk up to me and say Hi and I give you the cold shoulder cause I forgot who you are". TAH DA! :p

m5lvin said...

a little black book...for the very very very few......hmmmp...I should get one too at least before approaching senility like what you said....

savante said...

Well, xoussef and m5lvin, it's hardly a black book. More of a black notepad.

Oh God! You are right, stephen. Shrink from embarassment when I can't recall their names.

Not many but there are a few, jayelle. Rare breed tho.

Hah! You naughty calvin.

At leats I have annieiieieie to call an ambulance.

I would hire a hot, hunky PA for myself, william.

You're right. I should investigate, peter.

Met and bonked before, closetalk :)

Toldja, I am getting senile, junkie.

You've got the right idea there, jase. Shall take pictures of every guy I meet.. especially the hot ones.


jay said...

Somehow I get the feeling that the intern may indeed be hiding some secrets of his own.

Of course this is a completely baseless thought, but a thought none the less.