Friday, April 13, 2007

Should I be jealous

Should I be jealous?

When does an otherwise harmless platonic date turn into something beyond the pale? Where do we draw the line? And should there even be a line in a relationship?

A nervous Charming Calvin put these questions to me this afternoon when he made a lunch appointment to meet what I can only guess is an old flame of his. Not that anything in particular happened but from all heavily hinted accounts it seems as if this relative stranger, Persistent Peter had a thing for Calvin once upon a time. Serious torch bearer!

Not sure exactly what slim pretext Peter used for the meet but perhaps he is peddling life insurance? :P

Calvin : You're okay with this?
Paul : Yeah.
Calvin : It's just a lunch.
Paul : Have fun. Enjoy yourself.
Calvin : You're not even the least bit jealous?
Paul : No? Is there any reason to be?
Calvin : Not at all but still... not even a little?

Obviously a disappointing reply for him.

Not sure what he expected of me - perhaps wild maniacal hair-tearing /chest-thumping in blind rage with insane promises of homicidal retribution, or perhaps tears of heartbreaking disappointment with near-incoherent accusals of betrayal interspersed with repeated threats of suicide. Maybe even a grim ultimatum reminiscent of overly dramatic Latin American soap operas - It's me or him!! - accompanied by a close-up of my dark, furious expression and a suitably suspenseful background theme.

Making a scene
Well, what do you want me to say?
See this bruise? I just killed him.

None of which I did. Nor did I have the inclination to do so - though I admit I had to repress this wild impulse to enact a wimpy wailing scene just to placate his delicate sensibilities.

Calvin : You're okay with this?
Hysterical Paul : No! I am not, your thoughtless cur! How could you do this to me? My entire world has been blighted by this heartless betrayal! I could just die!
Calvin : Huh?
Hysterical Paul : I will kill him, you hear me! His blood will be dripping from my bare hands! I will have no peace till he's torn away from your side!

Seriously, do I look like a raging teenage drama queen?

Despite the infamous possessiveness of the typical wicked Scorpio male, I'm slightly more evolved and far more inclined to wish him luck on the coming meeting while fishing out a good book to read while I wait. Unlike highstrung acne-prone teenagers who thrive on such emotional highs and lows, I don't have all that much energy to spare for enacting a tearful Bollywood tragedy.

After all, Calvin hasn't yet given me any cause to fly into a blind jealous rage so why should there be any niggling doubts? I hardly think Calvin's going to leap impulsively into Peter's waiting arms before making a hasty elopement to Gretna Green.

Unfeeling, you say? Or should I really be turning green?

Then again, Peter could really just be selling insurance.


charming.calvin said...

I just care so much about my darling's feelings and don't want him to feel upset because of the things I do. I love you very much.

strapping.shane said...

Must Calvin really ask such a question!? Gah. *slaps forehead*

Dashing Dan said...

Hehehehe. So very funny.

Anonymous said...

A little jealousy never hurts, since it shows that you still care for him. But just a little.

nyonyapenang said...

many a relationship have been cut short by a green-eyed monster.

Jemima said...

Reminds me of this John Lennon's song:

I was dreaming of the past.
And my heart was beating fast,
I began to lose control,
I began to lose control,

I didn't mean to hurt you,
I'm sorry that I mad you cry,
I didn't want to hurt you,
I'm just a jealous guy,

I was feeling insecure,
You night not love me any more,

I was shivering inside,
I was shivering inside,

I was trying to catch your eyes,
Thought that you were trying to hide,
I was swallowing my pain,
I was swallowing my pain.

k said...

well i do like when my bfs make a lil fuss whenever i meet some other guy. kindda acknowledges the fact that i'm still desirable n not take me for granted. Besides, no drama's boring :P But thats just me :)

Anonymous said...

a little jealousy never hurt, though i do think jealousy is totally uncalled for here. hehe. at least i do think i'd take ur stand if it were me. now is that the free-spirited sagittarian in me talking? :p

Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy said...

In the first 2 years of our relationship I met K, one of A's best friends and his first boyfriend. They went out for ohhh a good 5 years. From the time they were 14 to 19. ;-) Yes my partner started young and K & A were high school buddies. Anyway, the point is that I was extremely jealous but my partner was patient but firm. Just because I'm jealous and insecure is not enough reason for him to give up his old friends. Sure they were going out but now they're best friends. So he let it be known (he has his ways) that I was the love he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and still spent time with K. We're all good friends today. Going to visit K in Amsterdam come Oct. Can't wait.

Peter said...

Paul, I do hope you use that wit also on your patients

k said...

well i do like when my bfs make a lil fuss whenever i meet some other guy. kindda acknowledges the fact that i'm still desirable n not take me for granted. Besides, no drama's boring :P But thats just me :)

now who is who? urgh. this is so annoying. i think the other 'k' should change his name.

xoussef said...

an unjealous scorpio! how strange !

Anonymous said...

He probably wants you to feel jealous so at least he feels that you "love" him and that he's worth getting jealous over.

Werird, huh?

cleo weiland said...

A little jealousy is a good sign, does show that you care.

But those couples who don't have jealousy issues like Allan and Nigel (You guys are amazing!), they're the ones with the most strength in their trust for each other. That goes a long way.

Cyclohelix said...

in answering your query, just be yourself and let nature flow

Will said...

A few months after we started dating we had a group of friends over. Most of our friends were people who had been my friends before, who had evolved into "our" friends. Anyway, one of these friends said to Adrian, "do you realize everyone here has seen Will naked?"

Yeah, many of my friends tend to be ex-boyfriends/crushes. What can I say, I have good taste in who I'm attracted to and I don't want to lose their friendship just because the romance didn't work. Fortunately, Adrian is not the jealous type or we'd have no friends at all. :-)

savante said...

Ooh, how romantic calvin!

Yes, he obviously must ask that, shane and dan :)

I do. Just don't think jealousy's a way of showing it, anon. See, nyonya agrees.

Hey, I know that song too, jemima!

Sometimes I do like a bit of jealousy but not always, k. I am meeting so many people it would be difficult.

Ah, sagittarius :) No wonder you don't mind much, junkie!

Nigel, you lucky lucky man!

They are mostly sedated, peter :P

You mean that's a different k?!

Depends on the situation, xoussef. Trust me I can seethe with jealousy when occasion calls.

IT is weird, anon and I know exactly what you mean. For me, it would be as if my lover doesn't trust me - and that would irritate.

But a lil jealousy goes a long way as cleo says :)

Be myself? The world would tremble helix.

GASP! WHy haven't I seen you naked will!