Not even my close friends are safe from my wicked scrutiny.
Almost Pavlovian really! Hot guys passing by. Cue the endless drooling. It's a simple physiological reflex akin to the extreme whiplash straight boys get when overly-endowed hot hoochie mamas saunter by.
Stop ogling, you naughty perv!
Which is why I'm surprised I wasn't mistaken for a drooling mental patient when I spent my time yesterday watching male models strut their hunky stuff down the runway. Hot guys. Drool. It was all I could do not to yell 'Take it off!' while shoving dollar bills down their pants.
Damn if only I looked half as good! :) Which is where I get to the point of this story. Just the day before Charming Calvin - who comes up with the oddest observations imaginable! - actually told me about the erroneous conclusions people have drawn about me.
Calvin : A lot of people think you must be somewhat good looking because you are humourous.
Paul : You gotta be joking. Handsome men aren't usually funny. They don't have to be.
Calvin : Hmmm...
Paul : Hell come to think of it, funny people usually look funny actually.
Not fishing for praise, I swear :)
Been living in my own skin for three decades now - and paraphrasing that crusty English professor, I gotta admit I'm grown accustomed to my face. Not saying that I wouldn't wish to wake up one morning miraculously transformed into a sinfully handsome Brandon Routh / Chris Evans doppelganger ( whereupon I shall descend into shameless cam-whoring and submit my application to Janice Dickinson's Modeling Agency just to rub shoulders and more with the delicious Sorin ) but if that doesn't happen, I'm not going to ruin my life thinking about it.
But it's true, don'tcha think?
Look around and you'll see that most hysterically funny fellas ( and funny gals as a matter of fact ) aren't all that good-looking - and usually vice versa. After all, really handsome hunks don't have to develop anything remotely resembling a self-deprecating sense of humour to draw people to their sides, especially when they can easily pull a worshipful crowd just by flashing their dazzling charismatic smiles. Why bother cracking a joke when you can just wink to get a screaming fan club?
Whereas the average joes out there have to work at it. Picking up perfect comedic timing takes time and talent which is why most funny fellas end up playing second fiddle or the background sidekick to the BMOC back in college :P
Stereotyping, I know. But I have actually encountered a hunk or two to prove the point I'm making. Like Mr Body Beautiful, this man I dated once or twice after flirting audaciously online in several torrid chat sessions. Talk about a serious lack of humour - though I believe God must have seen fit to balance the score after bestowing him with a whopping amount of good looks, anything more would have been patently unfair! Mr Body Beautiful took himself extremely seriously, couldn't find anything remotely humorous about trivialities and subsequently bored me to tears. Of course shallow me was intent to only stare at his pouty Jolie-like lips and his straining-to-burst-from-his-sleeves biceps while he described his work routine in a didactic monotone.
Hell he could have rattled off the tax manual and I'd still have been deliriously fascinated. :P
Of course there are exceptions to the Freakin' Funny Fellas Rule. Though he has a serious streak a mile wide, Big Bicep Barry does have his rare moments of hilarity while my ISO... well that man can be a serious hoot. Then again Barry claims to be a ugly duckling back in school ( gasp! ) while my ISO only picked up humour as a Chandleresque self-defense mechanism.