Sunday, April 08, 2007

Breeder Boys

Have come to the conclusion that straight guys can be oddly skittish.

Not that I have even tried playing grab-ass with one of the breeder boys of course - usually try to confine my inappropriate advances to men with similar leanings. Unless the hotness quotient simply goes through the roof of course ( e.g. Chris Evans / Brandon Routh ), and by then all bets are off. Heard of crawling through broken glass to grope a man's ass? Honestly I would. Might even risk a blackened bruise or two but then I'm an intrepid sort who enjoys walking on the dangerous side :P

But I digress. Where were we again? Breeder boys.

You see, my friend and colleague Shameless Shalom will be making her much-awaited transfer over to my playground very soon - and knowing our overanxious, perfectionist lil miss, she'll want everything perfectly planned out before her arrival, every pick and shovel :) And her proverbial sand castle of course. Which is why for the past week she's been calling up numerous shady real estate agents to secure the perfect nest for herself - and some yet unnamed roommate. Shared co-hab surprisingly since our miss independence claims that her fast shrinking nest-egg wouldn't be able to cover the expense of the entire apartment lease.

Paul : And who is this perfect unknown roommate?
Shalom : Maybe a Dr McStranger from the North.
Paul : Seriously? An unattached available straight McStranger?
Shalom : Who knows but it's possible.
Paul : Ooh....
Shalom : Don't ooh. I'm not interested. Only need a housemate.
Paul : Still. Ooh....
Shalom : Don't even start. People will probably talk. Don't want him getting all skittish and scared off.

See. It's that word again.

The perfect hello
Hello, roomie...

Seriously though, why would sharing an apartment with a fabulous singletini make a confirmed bachelor skittish? You mean we haven't progressed far enough this century to have a girl and a guy share an apartment without having people ( Victorian prudes, I mean ) talk?

Haven't they heard of Two Guys and a Girl?

Is it possible even these days that if a girl were caught with a guy in cohabitation ( assuming they are non-Muslim ), they'd be unwillingly marched off to the proverbial altar with an old-fashioned shotgun held to their backs? Although presumably Shalom would love to have a 20 karat diamond ring on her finger, I seriously doubt she's going to enjoy getting hog-tied into a hasty marriage with the poor McStranger. She barely even knows the guy, much less know him biblically on a connubial bed!

Yet even a progressive gal like Shalom is starting to get a bit nervous about the semi-scandalous prospect - sure to provide ready grist for the ever-popular rumour mill, especially over ancient fogies kicking up a bit of a rumpus. The unwelcome thought of puritanical old biddies forever looking over her shoulders, clicking their tongues in patent disapproval and offering critical judgement over her unconventional behaviour seems to have given her the shivers.

Unlike me. I'd just tell them to fuck off and do what I like. Damn the incessant rumours. :) Let's face it, people are going to talk anyway so why not give them something to really talk about?

Now if only Chris Evans would send a reply to my want ads.

10 comments:

xoussef said...

Ooh... ;)

strapping.shane said...

Why not ask her to stay with Calvin?

Muse Studio said...

ppl talk ALL the time abt anything and everything

that makes the world go bonker, i mean, round, darling.

:P

Sue said...

I don't know how crime is there in Malacca, but at least she'd be safer with a male house mate in some areas of the world. Is it like that there?

Chris E. said...

Doctor Paul,

Please quit stalking me and hanging around outside my building. Instead, just come on in. I'll leave my back door open.

suicidalconversationjunkie said...

breeder boys?? is my vocab really that bad now?

and if the bachelor's eligible and irresistible when served on a dinner platter (man-sized no less), shalom should really throw all regard for the busybodies to the wind and hit the sack baby! hehehe :p

m5lvin said...

Oooh....McStranger*

Bring out the sangkar babi!!!!! Kasi rendam ini dua orang!! hohohoho...

=P

savante said...

Ooh is right, xoussef!

Our independent miss says it's too far, shane.

I know! Gossip makes the world go round, muse!

That's a brilliant idea. Will tell that to her, sue.

Hi, chris. I'm sure I'll enjoy cumming into your back door.

What vocab, junkie? Breeder boys?

Not to mention stone them in the sangkar babi, m5lvin!

Paul

R*Y A N said...

damn the incessant rumours indeed. let them talk.

"there's something about paul..."

sounds catchy to me.

suicidalconversationjunkie said...

yes yes breeder boys. haha oops. so the shy.