Thursday, February 28, 2008

Man Traps

Trust in a relationship.

For me, that has to be one of the essential cornerstones of any relationship. Without that crucial building block, I doubt any relationship is going to stand the test of time, probably crumbling to pieces at the slightest onslaught of suspicion. As Cupid proved to Psyche, love can't remain without trust.

So when I read an article about honey trapping becoming popular down under, I find myself seeing red. Seems like honey trapping is fast growing into a trend in Singapore ( after being exported from abroad ) with suspicious spouses hiring comely bait to test their partners' fidelity.

Paranoia much?

Tyler Bachtel
Trap? What trap? I'm just feeling a bit hot, that's all.

Laying bait for adultery? Deliberately setting up mantraps for their husbands - or vice versa? What kinda rubbish is that? That's almost as imbecilic an idea as thinking that the husband would stray if a nubile foreign maid was around to titillate! Would that mean the roving sex-crazed husband would stray towards a wandering goat as well if it was available?

Talk about an insult to the spouse in question.

I have a simple adage for all my relationships. If you don't trust me, go take a fucking hike. I don't need folks who'd expect me to cheat the very first chance I get.

If I ever received such an offer ( and found out about the ensuing entrapment ), not only would I bed the attractive mantrap - again, again and again in dozens of untenable kama sutra positions - I'd probably mail a high-definition video of the kinky menage to my faithless spouse. Probably even place it on youtube for good measure.

What the hell. I'd go down on the mantrap right in front of him just to make sure.

Of course it'd be easy enough for me to cull out the delicious mantraps! Since I hardly ever receive scintillating propositions at all, any such unprecedented come-ons would be faintly suspect.

Hunk : Hey, you look cute. Could I buy you a drink?
Paul : Really? You're a gorgeous young guy with six pack abs and you're buying me a drink?
Hunk : Yeah, you look like an interesting fella.
Paul : And were you desperately drawn by my troll-like looks and homely demeanour?
Hunk : No?
Paul : Or maybe distracted by the intelligence and sense of humour that you could sense spilling out of my plain eyes even through my thick lenses?
Hunk : Uhh.. yes?
Paul : Come on, spill. Tell me who sent ya?
Hunk : What do you mean? I'm just a simple guy buying you a drink.
Paul : Bloody lies. But it's alright. Let's fuck.
Hunk : What?!

Yes. Scorpios are freakin suspicious folk ( and we have severe trust issues ).

13 comments:

Perky said...

Hahaha! This post is hillarious paul!

Yeah you're right. Screwing the mantrap would make a very nice parting gift to the faithless partner right? ;)

strapping.shane said...

Mantraps do work you know. I'm speaking about something out of personal experience - but then again mine was an isolated case.

Janvier said...

Trust is up there among the main priorities in a relationship! If that's well communicated and understood between both parties then there shouldn't be any need for all this mantraps now would here?

dit said...

Trust is just as you said, the cornerstone of a relationship. I say, go for the mantrap, just do not bring anything "extra" home. lol

Lewis said...

Absolutely. I don't play that kind of shit or games. If you don't trust me, um bye bye. And if I don't trust you, um bye bye. No games, no drama, no hiring somebody to find out. Now, if it happened to be this guy in the pic, there could possibly (probably??) be some serious trouble.

Jason said...

Scorpios are freaking suspicious. AGREE!

Queer Ranter said...

Yes, I am your mantrap. Take me, take me now and take me hard. :P

__S.B__ said...

i agree you have to have trust in each other

William said...

Close one eye. Wait, make it two.

Jay Antonio said...

Sweet Jesus! That pic is gorgeous! Yummmy! and your post is extreamly funny! Good One!

Ban said...

By the time it comes to the stage that spouses are willing to employ mantraps, they already know that the spouse is unfaithful - it's just that their cultural values prevent them from signing the divorce papers until they have concrete proof. That's why this is only a viable business in asia

nakedwriter said...

Keats' "Ode to Psyche" is a must-read, Paul. It'll take you to flight.

savante said...

It certainly would, perky. Since you already know I'm faithless, I might as well be faithless... again and again.

It only works if the partner's already quite willing to stray shane. Takes two hands to clap and all that.

Precisely, hanvier.

Especially by extra, you mean crabs or such, dit.

Lotsa trouble if he's the mantrap, lewis.

Finally, a fellow Scorpio, jason.

Twinktrap, you mean, queer rant :p

Certainly do need a lil bit of faith and trust, sb.

Muahaha, william. But isn't it better to have eyes wide shut?

Thanks, jay.

Usually they are. But why bother? Why don't just confront the spouse directly, ban?

Read it years back, naked writer :) Loved it.

paul