Saturday, March 01, 2008

Smile for the Camera

Every time I see a closed circuit camera installed for security reasons, I can't resist the inexplicable impulse to mug a little for it. Do the irritatingly kawaii poses that folks do in front of photobooth shots. No doubt you have shots of me - looking suspiciously gleeful holding my thumbs up - being passed around the confused mall security officers who probably can't decide whether to book me or strap me in a straightjacket.

Lately we've had a few CCTVs over here in the hospital as well - no doubt my psych colleagues are studying it hard in a bid to confine me to the asylum. :)

Studies seem to claim that the very presence of a surveillance camera in the area manages to deter the petty criminals so you'll find plenty of CCTVs installed all over the city - supposedly to maintain a semblance of security. Seriously though I doubt it works all that well. After all, unless it's virtually manned by a security force of twelve brawny martial exponents, I don't think it's worth a fucking tinker's damn.

After all, what exactly does it deter otherwise?

Without a dirty dozen ready to rumble on the other side of the cam, it seems quite futile if you ask me. Sure, it would be useful after the heinous crime is committed. And I'm sure it's really kewl that you can record every minute detail of the robbery / murder in high-definition with surround sound but no thanks.

Officer #1 : Ooh, look. Hot rich babe walking down a dark alley. Look at those pearls. I bet she's mugged.
Officer #2 : Won't take that wager, my man. Just look behind her.
Officer #1 : OMG. This is better than an episode of CSI! Look, that lady is being robbed!
Officer #2 : Whoa. And she's struggling. The perp has a six-inch blade out! Yikes, look at her neck spurting red. That's gotta hurt!
Officer #1 : Someone save her! Wait. Aren't you supposed to be patrolling?
Officer #2 : Aren't you?!
Officer #1 : Hmm. Well, at least we got some really good pictures.

Paints quite a picture, doesn't it?

Chad White
Aiks. I killed the hottie.

Seriously. It's really too late to find the murderer once the victim's mutilated corpse is floating anonymously face-down along the banks of the city rivers awaiting the local CSIs. Catching the perp after the event is just lousy. And you can bet that posthumous revenge is just not my style.

But I bet the paparazzi would love the titillating shots.


jase said...

Hey, you're not the only one who smiles and "kawaii" at the camera! You should see what happens when people think they are alone in a lift with the camera!

Its something that no one wants it to be published as the funniest videos on TV!!!

daohui said...

Bet you drove those security people crazy. Hahaha.

freshmess said...

I don't know if those cameras by the road work, but when we went on a roadtrip in Norway last year, I would stick my head out the window and flash those kawaii fingers and smile crazy. And there's a camera like every kilometer or so. Hahaha!

savante said...

Alone in the elevator :) Isn't that the time to pick our noses, jase? :P

I think I probably did, daohui.

Imagine getting the pics from that trip in Norway. How cool, freshmess. You could have a really different view of your trip.


nakedwriter said...

or you could just make headlines by having do something with a friend, or promise directorship to a member of the judiciary.

wonderful newspaper fodder?