Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Chinese Exemption

Alright, boys. I finally got the green light.

Figuring out a way to cure my recent blahs, Charming Calvin has given me an out. In lieu of him being within close reach to satisfy my baser needs ( the poor fella ), he has offered me a single night of faithless tomcatting around without fear of tearful reprisals. A Chinese Exemption if you will. Of course what he actually said was 'You gotta get laid' but ya know, I can read between the lines.

I think.

But of course, first I've gotta find a reliable fuck-buddy.

Hmm.. I wonder whether he'd consent to some cheap, perverse no-strings-attached sex.

If you think horny swingers with loose morals are easy enough to find, you'd think wrong. Not that easy to locate surprisingly since a large number of the guys I know are already heavily involved - ironically enough with each other. Seriously. Mucho lovey-dovey touchy-feely ( and prudish as well ) so the blasphemous thought of straying even an inch wouldn't cross their minds. The rest of them are straight breeder boys who wouldn't go near another guy without a ten foot pole - unless they've recklessly downed a six-pack of brewskis first.

Or so I've heard.

So that leaves me with hitting the clubs. The parks. Or the classifieds. Honestly, I don't know which scares me the most.

Fortunately when push comes to shove, I always have my back-up plan. So I sent him a message.

Paul : I need sex.
My ISO : Did you by any chance misplace your hand?
Paul : I need to slap some naked skin, exchange bodily fluids...
My ISO : And what would the Chinese say about that?
Paul : I have exemption from Beijing.
My ISO : You've obviously mistaken my number for a local phone sex operator but go on.
Paul : Need more than phone sex though.
My ISO : Really? Let me pencil you in for an appointment. I charge RM50 an hour. Yeah, I'll work you over good.
Paul : Saturday sounds good for a pity fuck.
My ISO : True. Let's do breakfast dim sum first.
Paul : Can I lick your savoury siew pau buns first?
My ISO : What kinda man do you think I am? You gotta buy me some chinese tea first.

I know. We have a weird, inappropriate sort of friendship. By the way, that conversation? We actually picked up from that one time we ( after screwing up our courage ) dialed up a callboy in London.


Daniel Henry said...

this was what i was just saying... pervert. LOLs.

Janvier said...

Gasp! Vous avez la carte blanche!

Queer Ranter said...

Me me! Take me!

Have a change of flavor for once. Take a twink like me! :P


Brian Chang said...

I'm available.. lol for grabbing siew

Jason said...

I can't believe Calvin said that. O_O

Cyclohelix said...

Someone's been dipping into the office ink or getting rambunctious lately :) A green light from lover some more, well, pick a sperm card anyone?

Quentin X said...

Makes me think about sending hubby to Beijing. Hmmmm. I forgot, he not like travelling.

mstpbound said...

omg. i can't believe he SAID that...btw, the pictures on your blog aren't working for me??? O.o'''

savante said...

I'm innocent, daniel!

Yup yup. Beware, janvier!

He would strangle you first, queer rant. And he knows where you live.

Shall take a bite when i see you then, brian.

Yeah, he did, jason :) Not in as many words but i got the gist of it :p

Yes, pick a sperm card. Can I play that game now, helix?

The food is great. The weather is ... okay. The shopping is fab. Go and take a look, quentin.

The pictures? Which pictures, mstpbound?