Five Golden Things
Four Tangled Hearts
Three Insomniac Men
Two Slaughtered Birds
And A Party in the Pantry
Boys can be prudes.
Seriously. You'd assume that teenage boys with rowdy testosterone coursing in their veins would be the first to drop trou ( so to speak! ) when the opportunity arose... but you'd be mistaken.
Unfortunately, as the case may be. Lately I find the boys far more obsessed with steadfastly remaining vestal virgins than sainted Mother Mary herself ( forgive me if that sounded vaguely blasphemous! ). While the fairer sex find themselves busy imitating Samantha Jones and Gossip Girls with martinis in hand, the boys are desperately turning to secluded monasteries while taking vows of celibacy till they meet their princesses charmings ( or prince charmings as the case may be ).
Obviously the safe sex ( celibacy? ) campaigns finally made an impact.
Paul : Why aren't you out picking up guys, sexy boy?
Boy : GASP. Picking up guys?!
Paul : Yeah, one night stands and such. With protection of course.
Boy : No! That's wrong!
Paul : Why? Are you impotent?
Boy : No! I believe in commitment and long-term relationships. I shall abstain from sex till I meet Mr Right.
Paul : Good God. Talk about a dry spell.
So no-strings-attached Christmas gropes are all out for them. Hell, it practically gave the puritanical prudes I know a collective heart attack when I suggested a group orgy. Cum is the cement of all relationships after all. I think I even saw Lanky Lex the staunch agnostic reaching blindly for the crucifix to ward me off.
Too Busy to FCUK!
Odd. Because for me, sex is sex. It's getting your rocks off, blowing your pud, bustin a nut, whatever you call it. I don't equate sex with love. Don't get me wrong. Like any typical Scorpio, I can get helluva jealous as well. I'm hardly gonna sit around if my boyfriend's cheating on me.
Boyfriend : I'm cheating on you. I'm sorry.
Paul : So am I.
Boyfriend : Why?
Paul : That soup you just finished? I poisoned it.
And that's only the tip of the iceberg.
But my interpretation of cheating's slightly different. Sharing cum and sweat would make me helluva pissed of course - but I'd be far more jealous if my boyfriend shared his hopes and dreams with someone else. For me, it's far worse to exchange personal intimacies online than to swap spit and semen in an unknown den of iniquity with dozens of skanks. Steamy group sex in a seedy sauna I can understand - as long as there's some sorta protection. Doesn't mean I want to catch the clap, you know.
9 comments:
dry spell~ haha.happy new year paul! hmm there's no problem with keeping one's virginity or abstaining from sex ei? i guess it's preference =)
exactly. PREFERENCES.
oh, and err, the sexphobic part too. :p
"Dried" prudes IS an exaggeration. You forgot to take into account the fountains of celibate masturbators (masturbating celibates?).
The best sex is doing it safe and doing it with the one you love most, you! - Woody Allen (or Allen's Wood) said something along these lines. I think.
Merry Belated Christmas and Happy Elated New Year!
Someone offered me a ‘Bloody Mary’ last night; said it would put ‘lead in my pencil.
Problem is.... I have no one to write too…
Personally, I'm in agreement with you Paul.. although, as a Cancerian, we have our little foibles as well.
More likely, they were all shocked that one with your reputation (upright and unsullied, **** SNICKER *****) had such lurid thoughts or desires that led to their Puritanical reaction...
I still think of 'Cooper' from the movie Euro-trip. "I'm returning to the land of my perverted forefathers."
"Hallelujah, Father John has left the Monestary...."
WINK, WINK
Says the person who talks about groping and orgy.
Yawn~~~~
I agree with Charming Calvin....
It is a preference of course, aaron and zinedine. :P Explain it!
GASP. You are a scorpion as well? Hot, Ben!
Dried prudes. Muahaha. can I use that, nakedwriter?
So did you get the pencil lead, tjay?
Precisely what I mean! Groping and orgies are not as bad as shared confidences for me. I find that a bigger betrayal actually. So, calvin and alex?
Paul
Can't say much; I was a prude until my late 20's.
I do agree with you about the sex and love being different.
Am I sexy? I'm Scorpio too.
I need a hook up :P
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