Crouching Sluts, Hidden Diamonds

Don't be shocked but I've actually taken a few days off from work to rest and relax. Overwhelmed by work and deadlines, Big Bicep Barry calls me a lucky devil but I call my break a desperate, much-needed attempt to regain some semblance of sanity. Despite my tak ape, laid-back demeanour, the inevitable work stress does get to me and without my periodic breaks, I might just morph into a raving mad, axe-wielding serial murderer.

Although retail therapy would come first on my list for ways to unwind, a short holiday on the beach comes a close second. Even as I write this, I'm sipping a cup of earl grey while watching a bunch of young guys grapple around with a volleyball ball on the beach ( not each other unfortunately but I have a devious, imaginative mind that can fill in the blanks ).

However even the sight of half-naked men can't make me forget what a friend confided the other day. I've always assumed that it takes a while to gather disillusionment and cynicism about life. Aren't we all supposed to be just a tad idealistic when we're young? Isn't spinning pretty castles in the air and dreaming of that handsome prince coming to the rescue the exclusive province of a charmed youth? Even in my admitted senility, I'm certainly not immune to such rose-tinted fantasies myself!

Well, that dream certainly suffered a tremendous letdown when a certainly younger gay man - Disillusioned Dan - that I know came out with the airy comment that gay relationships are essentially doomed to failure especially since men are genetically engineered to stray. Took me a while to swallow that surprisingly cynical maxim since I was too busy catching my breath after choking on my tea ( Yes, tea. After cutting down on my obsessive caffeine intake, I've been weaning myself with hits of green tea - not the same sadly ).

Dan : Men can have one apple in hand but they certainly won't be able to resist taking a bit into a fresher, nicer looking fruit if they have the opportunity.
Paul : Number one, you cynical manchild, that doesn't run true for all guys. I ain't greedy and I'd stick to munching on that sweet apple of mine. And you never know that pretty new fruit could have a worm or two inside. Number two, hey, you're a nice looking fruit yourself.
Dan : Let's say you're in a relationship. Don't tell me you wouldn't say yes if a hot looking guy...
Paul : Stop right there. Only for Chris Evans - and that would be placed in small print on the marriage certificate so there's certainly no misunderstanding.

One failed relationship certainly doesn't make me chatty Oprah, purveyor of all romantic relationships, but isn't that a horrible thought to carry in one's head? Let's face it, fidelity seems to be a foreign concept to circuit boys and gay diamond anniversaries are few and far in between but to seriously think that all gay relationships are doomed from the beginning can't be all that healthy.

If I seriously imagined that all men are cheating scum - and for the most part some of them are - it would seriously impair any chances I had in a future relationship. Why enter into a gay relationship at all with the idea that it would inevitably crash and burn in a few months?

All I'd like to tell Dan is to think positive. Not all fags are pondsucking faithless frogs crouching in the bushes waiting for the next opportunity, search a little harder and surely there are princes out there worth more than gems.