You know what I've said about being afraid of the limelight?
Well, I am. Honestly. Impromptu speeches suck. There's nothing more terrifying for me than being thrown into the open stage with a mike - and absolutely nothing to say. Well unless you count my fear of turning celibate only to have Chris Evans declare his mad undying passion for me the day after. Still, it doesn't help to think of Chris Evans when I have the spotlight shining on my pimply forehead - yes, I still do get acne every once in a while, stress like impromptu speeches don't help.
Deep breaths here.
Sure, I might be a wordsmith on paper - and online - but I can barely get a word out when everyone's attention is solely on me. Blame it on my upbringing. Seriously. Unlike our expressive kin in the West, Asian children simply aren't brought up to voice out their feelings in a decisive, coherent manner. Praise is also given sparingly ( unlike the effusive praise thrown by Paula Abdul on Idol ) so self-esteem issues are rampant. Usually we mumble our thoughts sotto voce, cower and try to remain as unobtrusive as possible in a darkened corner. Seen but not heard as the adage goes.
Terrifying. So what happens when I'm suddenly thrust onto the pedestal - due to a disappearing presenter - at an important dinner? Easy enough when I have a prepared speech in hand with nifty slides to back me up but to suddenly take the stage without any hypnotic-sedative drugs beforehand? Sure, I can command my voice enough to present a relatively cool demeanour but hell, my hands were trembling like an old, athritic aunt with Parkinson's and I had to keep them off the podium or I'd have literally rocked off the stage. If I had a paperbag nearby, I'd probably have fallen into a hyperventilatory state. Unfortunately I knew I was having dinner with a bunch of trigger-happy doctors who would probably rush unerringly to my aid - whether I wanted it or not.
Made me forget all about Big Bicep Barry and his incomprehensible mention of bedtime stories.
Oh, there it is again. Well, the man claims he doesn't know anything about blogs. Blogs, he says. What is that, he says. A coincidence?
The game is afoot, Watson!
12 comments:
expressive kin in the West? Probably you mean further West than this rock, then. :oD
Sympathise about the zits (pimples) ... mine always seem to show up just when I'm about to meet someone I want to impress, or have to go have my photograph taken. :o\
Maybe Barry knows about the story website but not the blog? Unlikely, I know, but possible ...
Ugh. All speeches, planned or impromptu, are awful. And it's just as bad listening to them as it is making them.
Me thinks BBB may have indeed sussed you out!
Same here with me. I hate speeches, making and listening.
I get cold, trembling hands whenever i do such things, so in project work i tend to do the background stuff while my other *cough* more confident teammates deal with the presentation.
Yes, i'd rather be bitten by a thousand rabid infested rats than do speech.
Been there done that and still can't control the nervousness! Even the straight vodka shots doesn't help either! However, I have come across pretty good Asian speakers as well. Something about their confidence and their personality!
What? BBB doesn't know about blogs? Is he for real?
Paul, he knows you have a blog, remember? You said so yourself previously. Or did you call it your 'website' at the time?
He's being a tease. Smack him a good one on his bum.
I hate public speaking too.
I had a little information to give to a group of people and my tounque got twisted so I blamed it on the alcohol :)
The time has arrived for you to nail him, Paul. I suggest the following:-
1. Get him into your room.
2. Show him your blog and tell him not to deny reading it daily
3. Start kissing him away!
Hey Bro! Fairview Sue gave me a pointer to your site. She says it's well-written, and lord knows oh yeah. Shout out to ya from across the lands and seas.
ahh youll be fine.. just wing it.
and dont look at anyone in the face.. just let your eyes wander about .. that or stare at one particular spot at the back of the room....
:)
Or you could imagine everyone naked. Gives you something else to focus on if the room's full of hot bods. And if it's not, that makes YOU the hottest person there. You can't lose either way. Get NEKKID, I say!
Well, you are expressive in your own way, ru :) Nah, I don't think Barry knows... I'm holding on to that!
I tried to make it as painless as possible, jay.
Hope not, curtis!!
A thousand rabid infested rats? INteresting analogy :)
The vodka would have come in handy at that time. Well Barry knows about my blog - he saw me update it after all - but he has never said anything about it.
Did smack him Daniel. On the thigh, does that count?
Yeah, like I said, vodka would have helped, cr :)
ca va, what would Calvin say to that!
Thanks, aron. Always glad to have someone from overseas :)
grafxgurl, I am keeping nonchalant.
Imagine everyone naked? It's doctors, my dear Jay. hardly anyone hot. Well, one or two but I wouldn't imagine the naked.
Paul
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