Saturday, December 01, 2007

Hungry Woks

You're dead hungry. You're in a new area relatively unknown. There are two friendly local girls in front of ya, one fat girl and one thin girl.

So who do ya ask for recommendations on places to eat?

I know it's supremely biased but hell, I'd head for the fat girl ( let's not be overly PC over here ). I'm hardly gonna ask the Twiggy-thin model-esque gal who looks like she sticks a finger down her throat after a meal of two wafer-thin crackers a day. Sure she might know where the nearest fad diet pill store is ( or perhaps the location of the low-fat, low-cholesterol, low-taste eatery ) but I doubt she'll know where to go to satisfy my carb cravings!

Surely with that gaunt, concave abdomen, the words donuts and cream cheese would be anathema to her.

Ice cream
Oh God. I haven't had this in years. She's not looking. I bet I can steal a bite!

So why do culinary shows persist in hiring shockingly anorexic hosts? Boggles my mind seriously! Why would you want to follow the culinary advice of someone who probably thinks two stingy breadsticks is a bingeing feast. Sure I know everyone wants to gaze at something pretty onscreen but big doesn't necessarily mean un-photogenic. Just look at Nikki Blonsky. Now that's a healthy gal I'd stalk unapologetically when she heads for lunch.

Or look at the delectable Nigella Lawson. Now that's one curvy domestic goddess you just know has the occasional private orgasm over sinful chocolate. I'd turn straight for her ( though I wouldn't know what to do with her hoo-hoos and ta-tas )!

And I'll have to assume that she doesn't automatically head for that organic deli. I mean sure we should all partake of healthy organic fruits and vegetables ( doesn't the medical journal insist on that promotion? ). After all since we were kids, we always known boring broccoli's good for us. But hell, could it possibly taste as sinfully delicious as a fried chicken drumstick literally dripping with transfats and cholesterol? Or steaming roti prata oozing with oils and ghee?

You just know I've been watching too much Asian Food Channel.

11 comments:

rainbow angeles said...

Haha! Gotta lurve the channel!!

joshua said...

HEY! I lurrrve broccoli OK? It is not boring laaa!!!

A Lewis said...

Man oh man, am I HUNGRY NOW. I'm not sure which course to start with. But I've got several options, obviously.

Ganymede said...

What about Nigela Lawson. She's such a goddess in the kitchen. :P

Anonymous said...

how about ina garten? or rachel ray? :-)

or jamie oliver? and bobby flay? :-)

~nurse ruff
rufffles.blogspot.com

coolgardy said...

AFC channel is really an awesome channel, no wonder all my mind thinks of is food, food, food...

Anonymous said...

Now that I'm gonna be work-free (haha!) in January, I'd have time to watch morning shows like Rachel Ray. :) Have you seen it?

Jake said...

I never really thought about this but I would totally do the same thing - go right to the larger girl. I don't understand why restaurants would want to hire skinny girls because you're right, the impression that they have no idea what food is good comes across.

But now I'm hungry.

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Jason said...

Hahaha!
Don't you just love AFC?

N.J.A.P.F. said...

I lurve Nigella and AFC!!!