Amazing Race

Let me tell you a little something you didn't know.

Scorpios like to win. Looking at them with their placid, unemotional facades, you might be fooled into thinking that just like Mr Rhett Butler, they couldn't give a damn either way. But just look closely each time they lose, a little something seems to falter in their generally impassive expressions - somewhere a lil part of them just dies - even over the little things.

Even over parcheesi.

So they try not to lose.

All of which doesn't help when I'm actually quite fond of the occasional challenge. There's nothing quite like pitting your strength and wits against a worthy opponent ( and obviously crushing them ruthlessly at the end ), is there? Whether it's for petty chump-change stakes ( or even childish dares! ) to astonishing million-dollar-bets.

So each time the Amazing Race comes around this part of the world, I always toy with the novel idea of signing up myself. Not only for the thrill of experiencing Phineas Foggs' breathless journey around the world with mind-boggling puzzles to solve and to ogle the prerequisite hotties ( I mean there's always a couple or two shirtless hunks around, right? ) - but also to give the religious conservatives a collective heart attack.

Imagine a gay couple from Malaysia ( an asian Chip & Reichen? ) on a race! Surely that would warrant at least one demonstration.

Though who would I call for my Passerpatout? With my ISO, I think our sheer wicked ruthlessness would have us kicked out in a matter of days. If not summarily murdered by the rest of the conspiring contestants in collusion ala Murder on the Orient Express and tossed inside a forgotten swamp somewhere.

Paul : I have something to confess.
My ISO : I took their map.
Paul : I stole their money.
My ISO : I threw their baggage in the river. They are so biting our dust.
Paul : They will have to. I burnt their tickets.

I don't think Allan Wu would approve.


Prerequisite hotties in Amazing Race Asia! ( who are doing quite well at the moment btw )
On the other hand, Charming Calvin's totally dissimilar in character from my ISO - and almost the opposite of me as well. Calvin would be good company, certainly organized, detail-oriented and people-friendly. Though I'm a lil afraid my sheer intensity would surely drive him up the wall - I doubt even he could deal with me 24/7! I'm okay in small doses. In an amazing race, I'd probably be yelling at him non-stop to get a move on ( like a drillmaster! ) even as he moans pitifully about his tired legs.

Just take sweetly sentimental couple Alanis & Jenny as a comparison as they face the fear of heights that inevitably tends to crop up somewhere mid-season - whether it be bungee-jumping, rappelling or base-jumping.

Jessie : I can't do it. It's too high. I'm scared.
Alanis : I'm here with you my love. We'll work this through.
Jessie : It's a sheer cliff. I can't do it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Alanis : We'll find another way. We'll get through this together.

Then there's me faced with a similar situation. You can be sure that I'm real persuasive when I need to be but let's not forget that this is a race. We only have minutes to spare.

Calvin : I can't do it. It's too high. I'm scared.
Paul : Just try it.
Calvin : It's a sheer cliff. I can't do it. I'm sorry. I- OMGaaaaarrrrrrggghhh...
Paul : What a fall. I knew all he needed was a gentle nudge off the edge.

Of course Calvin might not be entirely comfortable with my Machiavellian methods.

Jessie : This task is too difficult! It's impossible. I give up.
Alanis : My darlin love, I still love you. It's alright if we don't win. We've already tried our best already.
Jessie : Let's go home.
Alanis : Yes. If that's what you want.

You can be sure I'm not giving up that easily.

Calvin : This task is too difficult! It's impossible. I give up.
Paul : Fuck that. We are winning this. There's a million dollar cheque with our names on it. I've already got my eye on the perfect designer lamp!
Calvin : Let's go home.
Paul : Only if you're in a body-bag dammit!

Yes. Scorpios can be ruthless.

Especially when it comes to winning.