Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ghosts of Christmas Future

Well, just to tell you what's gonna be happening in the coming future - yeah, I do have moments of pseudo-clairvoyancy! :P Since I finally have a place of my own, I think it's time I do what every gay devotee of Martha Stewart has been doing since her good housekeeping bibles first got published ( you mean you're all not devotees?! ) and host a fabulous dinner party.

For Christmas no less! Don't get all excited yet. I'm hardly gonna dress a turkey and bake some pies - where the hell am I gonna find the time? Charming Calvin's earning big yuans up north but he's refusing to subsidize my expensive high-maintenance habits so I'm gonna have to continue slogging at work for minimal wages.

Yes. Bah-humbug.

Decadence
A Decadent Christmas at Paul's...

But I can easily speed-dial a reliable caterer. So I'll start small first.

No worries, folks. It won't be as decadent as the one above - I'll have to work up to that slowly. Just take a look at the mailed invite.

So here's how it is. I'll be back the weekend before Christmas - that should be around the 21st for you guys. Should be having a small dinner then so you're all invited. A few can stay over if you guys want but expect to rough it out a bit ( expect wandering hands from me especially if I've been downing Bailey's ). No vodkas or tequila shots - Bailey's at the most! Mostly coffee and tea though. Civilized chatter. It's Christmas after all. :) No prayers and chants to sweet baby Jesus so you can all rest easy - we're really non-religious if you haven't guessed by now.

And leave the Wiis and the X-Boxes at home, expect to play old-fashioned board games and watch a ton of weepy sentimental romantic comedies such as Love Actually and The Holiday. It's Christmas and I spend the evenings weeping over irish cream and romantic movies.

Hey it's a tradition.

Now, wouldn't Martha be proud? No doubt she'd expect personally hand-written scented letters ( with environmentally friendly mini-reminders of RSVP ingeniously made up of bits of ribbon and scrap ) but hell, I'm not a dedicated househusband yet! So emails will have to do for now.

What about New Year's? Well I hear Jaunty Jared has another surprise planned for us - fresh from his party-planning triumph last week. A New Year in the tropics? Jared in a skimpy thong? I am so there - and I intend to be there armed with sangria ( the better to get Jared loose and drunk - the easier to take advantage of! ) and my trusty though long-suffering camera ( the better to record the lurid event for future blackmail ).

13 comments:

Medie007 said...

yerrr.... Martha is so de fake... :S

Ryan said...

Oh you reminded me of christmas gift I have to buy. I am so broke! Especially during this festive season.

Hmm... I will have myself singing "I'll be home for christmas..."

Sam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MrBunnyBan said...

EEEEEEEE! What a horrible picture!

Anonymous said...

want a Guitar Hero III Bundle Pack for being such a good boy this Xmas and doing your banner.

And hence, we need an XBOX when we go back to Melaka. :P

Anonymous said...

eeeekkk...

what thong? i don't do thong... Skimpy speedo is still acceptable :P

Alex said...

Oooooo....... thong????!!!! Why was I left out from the good stuffs?

Janvier said...

Alright! Jared in skimpy Speedos! Nooo! Consoles ought to be banned from parties, unless it's the party-friendly Wii!

Don't forget the Turkey and party games (Twister, anybody?)

Anonymous said...

Seriously? Now that's a kickass invite. I am so going there if I'm invited.

Anonymous said...

Eh.. Jared could wear a square cut Speedo.. those are sexier on men! I do want to see pix of a "feeling no pair" Paul...

BTW, a pie? Come on P! You can buy refrigerated dough and make one, LOL...

If you need a recipe, I've got one for a whiskey Pecan pie but not sure if you can get pecans there. You can substitute something else..

TJay

Jake said...

I wish I was invited! This sounds great ;)

haha.

Jason said...

Skimpy see-through speedos?? :P

chase / chubz said...

ohhhh.. turkey and pies...
i wanna try those!