Monday, March 31, 2008

That Big Yellow Taxi

Really. Lemme ask you guys this. Is it so wrong to take a taxicab home from the airport?

Had this conversation online this morning when Charming Calvin casually dropped the loaded mention that he'd be back on a certain date. The hint for a pick-up was obvious enough. Unfortunately I'm scheduled to be oncall on the same date ( Calvin calls it the Beijing Syndrome! ) so I'm definitely unavailable for personal chauffering services. I then made the mistake of suggesting a taxicab from the airport.

You can imagine the horror ensuing from the rest of my friends. You'd think I'd come up with some horrifically sadistic method of torture.

Sandy : Take a cab? A taxicab?
Paul : No, I actually suggested bungee-jumping with a fraying rope as a method of transportation. Of course a taxicab!
Calvin : I will find someone else to pick me.
Sandy : Yes, you deserve to be pampered.
Paul : What kinda archaic damsel-in-distress way of thinking is this? I'll pamper you with a damned paddle. Get a fucking taxicab.
Sandy : It's our right to be pampered.
Paul : I say this with love, okay. But find some balls, be a man and take the cab.

Right to be pampered, my ass. In case you're wondering, Submissive Sandy is a guy.

No doubt most of these guys assume that taxicabs are actually mobile dens of iniquity with lecherous mustachioed drivers putting their vaunted chastity ( and their even more precious wallets ) in dangerous peril. A task that obviously warrants a knight in shining armor to ride to their hapless rescue on his white steed.

Or crusty jalopy as the case may be.

Could you give me a ride?

And you know how I feel about guys waiting to be rescued! Obviously sensing the yin-yang imbalance in gay relationships, some serious bottoms ( Sandy? ) have usurped the unenviable role of the damsel-in-distress - helplessly twiddling their manicured thumbs waiting to be picked up at the airport rather than flag down an easily available taxicab.

Sigh. Where have all the real men gone?

Honestly, I don't see the problem. Hell, I've been doing it since I was back in school actually. Even at an intrepid 13 if I recall correctly - during my first solo flight to Penang. Though the dingy provincial airport seemed suddenly flush with suspicious characters, I managed to ward off the attentions of pushy strangers, steered clear of the touts and found the one kindly uncle in his trusty cab ( with a working meter! ). Since then I've never had any problems travelling alone.

Just recently, I mimed my way to Calvin's pad from the airport in Beijing with a written placard. You can imagine the difficulties I had with the driver's heavily-accented Mandarin - especially with my sad rudimentary knowledge of the language.

But if you can find your way about in a foreign country, I don't see how much more difficult it could be navigating in your own country. Take a big yellow taxi dammit.


Jaded_Jeremy said...

I take taxi all the time from Singapore airport ;-) And to the airport too, except for one time I decided to take the MRT.

Little Dove said...

Nothing wrong in taking a taxicab home.

There are millions of Sandies out there. Sad, really...

Quentin X said...

Nothing wrong with hailing a cab home. I don't want to be a burden on anyone even to my hubby. If I'd ask for a ride it is because I want to save money but I would never insist.

Emo-Happiness said...

Boy 1# : Give me a ride home ya?
Boy 2# : Em.. I got a bit of thing to do tmr..
Boy 1# : If you ride me. .. I will give you a sexy... massage.. ha ha

Boy 2# : Give me the date and time.
I will prepare honey and rope in the car.

Boy 1# : Rope?

That's the cost of a free ride.
Emm.. on second thought.
That would be great sex.
You in? Bedstory?
Forgot liao. You call your own cab.
We'll try ribbon and feather next time...(when you have no money to call cab)

Emo-Happiness said...


On second thought.
Ice cube and socks should be more interesting..

Why not give it a try with your partner?


Lewis said...

Super cool song. I've always loved it..from WAY back. As for the ride home....he could just stay at the airport and live, like Tom Hanks in The Terminal. Or he could hitch hike. Or sell himself for a little pocket cash for a free ride. We're lucky here: We have excellent buses/trains and can be home in 20 minutes. Or a quick 10-minute cab costs $10. Easy. Move here!

Ryan said...

Nothing wrong with taking cab. I took cab almost everyday nowadays.

I have to admit at certain level there's a risk considering the fact that some taxi drivers turned out to be a rapist or robber. Anyway, I also hate the fact that we hardly got to see any hunky good-looking taxi driver!

So sad! Else I don't mind paying him "driving me crazy"...

asm@di said...

since i'm an advocate of public transport, i would say to calvin, just take the bloody cab.


having been through one particularly nasty experience with an old cab driver who recounted his sexual conquests with various female students from a local uni, i kinda understand how he feels about taking a 30min ride home with a cab driver.

Janvier said...

We don't mind the cab, in fact we have taken the cab back a couple of times already from KLIA (the most recent cabbie even had GPS!). The good thing about cabs from KLIA is that you pay and get your ticket inside the airport at the counter, then head outside and queue up - so no chance of being conned by taxi drivers not using taxi meters etc.

As for conversing with the driver, well, we sit in the back seat and feign sleep.

angel said...

Big possibility, due to 'kiam siap'!

I hate to inconvenience ppl... even my own family members. So, cab is good :) I hv my ways to make sure the driver doesn't get chummy :P

me said...

hahaha! i hear some whining. well, i assume suggesting a taxicab might actually be suggesting that he has no friend(s)! then again, i don't see a problem with taking a cab esp from the airport.

faggotry said...

I feel you, sister.

I mean, what is up with bottoms thinking that just because at the end of the day, they're taking it up the ass hence the whole world owes them a huge favour.

Unless taking it up the ass is the sexual equivalent of preventing global warming, gay bottoms around the world should just, hmm, how do I put this gently - stuff a sock in it.

I'm a full-fledged bottom myself and I pay for my own shit. The Boyfriend does the pampering here and there, but otherwise I won't be a bitch about it and roll around the floor until I get things done my way.

Completely unrelated but I remember this unfortunate incident when I had to share a cab with this fat (and when I say fat I mean the living epitome of 'yo momma so fat' jokes) girl who refused to walk over to the cab who was parked 2 meters away from us.

She claims that she would never walk to a cab even if the sun crawled over and died (she also claims her patchy LV bag is authentic, go figure). That pissed me off shitload but the taxi driver did pull over right in front of us eventually.

I'm guessing he wanted a closer look at the walking whale.

christopherc said...

I see nothing wrong with a taxi personally. It sounds as though there may be some underlying issue for attention on his part though. You may want to check it out.

Legolas said...

So, anybody will come and pick me? I'm a sad, delirious, stingy, inconvenient, pitiful, weird, demented, impractical, strange, unusual, disturbed, up the ass taking, global warming inducing, burden causing bottom gay man.

I heart Sandy.

Anonymous said...


Calvin wants Paul to be the first person he sees when he is back in town.

I pick up my bf from the airport even if he does not ask me to do so, cause I miss him.

Not nice to stereotype bottom guys.


Sandy said...

I heart Max.

The rest can go f**k themselves.

Musang said...

paul sangat kejam...