Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Other Woman

What would you do if you'd gotten word that your partner was having an affair?

Most folks would assume that I'd throw a violent homicidal rage - and perhaps I did so in my salad days - but I hope and believe I have grown past that. Not that I'd believe just a rumour! First I'd get all the alleged facts straight of course. Believe me, Sherlock Holmes has nothing on a Scorpio playing detective. Then I'd confront the supposedly cheating partner, offer indelible proof and then... walk away.

Seriously. I wouldn't even break a lamp. Time I did a Beyonce. Come on, I have far too much self-worth to weep over the worthless fool who'd play me for a cuckold.

Of course, not everyone's quite as ready to walk away.

Certainly not Hurricane Hallie.

Once she'd heard about the rumours going around the hospital about her husband Bob finding someone new, hysterical Hallie certainly wasn't going to take adultery lying down. Rather than wail copiously while wringing her hands helplessly like my previous cuckolded victim Whispery Wilhelmina, this rather more aggressive harpy called up the other woman - namely my friend Lissome Lorelei - and lambasted her with a vitriolic hail of accusations and threats. And from what I hear, I don't think the harpy, Hurricane Hallie minced her words.

Hallie : You fucking scheming whore, how dare you sleep around with my husband in front of me? And to flirt right in front of my eyes!
Lorelei : WTF.

As you might have guessed, Lorelei didn't even realize she was supposed to be having an allegedly scandalous affaire with Bob. I seriously doubt even Bob knows that he's having an affaire :)

Affair to remember
Me having an affair? Aw, come on!

Needless to say, Lorelei was pissed as hell to be thus branded an adulterous slut. And I don't blame her. Look at it this way. Much better to have been caught with the hand in the cookie jar after taking a quick bite - rather than to have no cookie and yet gotten the burning scold. So not worth it.

Now I believe Lorelei should call Bob up to schedule an affaire.


Anonymous said...

If I heard that my partner was having an affair, I'd do the same as you, maybe with some cold revenge on the side ^^

As for Lorelei, no need to schedule an affair with Bob. Just watching Hallie get embarassed of accusing an innocent person is enough for me. That is, if Hallie still could get embarassed over her action.

faggotry said...

You know, I was reading your archives and wondering where are all the scandals and sex and hot McDoctors and the conjoined twins and falling for dying patient scenarios I watched on Grey's Anatomy..

and tonight came close.


nakedwriter said...

you are a decadence of morality :)

but then again, why not take advantage of the abhorrence slapped onto you?

A: Slut!
B: Not yet. Let me sleep with ten men first.

*10 men later*

A: Slut!
B: But I didn't do it!!

ehonchan.com said...

WHAT AN ENDING! Well, that makes sense actually. I actually stole a few chuckles when I read the last sentence.

Reading your blog definitely makes me more intellectual. With the words and all.

daohui said...

If she was attacking me like that, i would give her a tight slap first and then ask her to continue speak. I really hate people like that! Hmmph!

m5lvin said...

talking about affair I can only think of Cashmere Mafia..

sbanboy said...

Hmmm sounds interesting :)

Annie said...

LOL! Indeed, Loralei ought to call Bob and at least get some free lovings for all the trouble caused her.

Bah! Why is it that the one who didn't make the vows to honor and cherish you, get the beating? Some married spouses don't advertise they're even married until it's too late. Bob is bad.

Anonymous said...

Well I will probably get even by doing the same thing hehehehehe. But as they say usually a partner cheats once it is no longer happy so you better entertain your partner to the max so it wont be looking around