Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Definitely Maybe

Sex education has always been a thorny issue in this country. Though I personally believe that it would help in reducing the significant number of teenage pregnancies ( and abandoned babies as not everyone's a lil Juno! ) in the country, I doubt we'd be able to rid the antiquated notion rampant amongst the conservative masses that teaching innocent kids about sex would only encourage them to go forth and multiply.

Let's face it. They are doing it anyway. So why not teach them to be safe? But I am not here to rant about sex education in this country.

After all, I never received any formal instruction so to speak. As I recall, all I had was a lil manual on adolescence that I picked up from the bookstore along with smatterings of the usual peer group gossip ( more like horrified giggles actually ) back in primary school. Back then the boys were all intrigued by the growing hoo hoos and ha has in the convent next door. I couldn't exactly see what the fuss was with the distracting lady lumps! Sure my parents were open enough to have given a talk but hey, which self-respecting boy of twelve ever asks his parents for sex advice?

Definitely Maybe
Dad, what is sex?

Can't imagine my kid ever asking me such a question - and you can imagine what a precocious brat he will be. Sure I champion being thoroughly honest and forthright but just how much can you really discuss with a kid?

Nate : What is sex?
Paul : Sex is when two people meet and then fall in love. And from that love comes you.
Nate : God, that's so corny, dad. You might as well bring up the stork.
Paul : Well, that's the company line and we're sticking with it.
Nate : Well you and daddy have sex, right? I hear noises sometimes.
Paul : Hmm. Actually that's him lifting weights. Really. I swear.
Nate : Right. Do I look like I'm 10?
Paul : No, you're not. And you really should be sleeping earlier - not skulking around with your ear pressed to the door.
Nate : So did you sleep around, dad?
Paul : Umm... sleep around? Of course not. I was a saint.

Maybe I could pull it off with a straight face. Of course I'll probably end his inquisitive questions with a definitely maybe.

Doubt I could be as honest as Ryan Reynolds in the movie Definitely, Maybe when his daughter talks about the penis meeting the vagina. With a thrust. Easy enough to expound in length with a patient in distress but to have that kinda heart-to-heart talk with your own child? I'd be having severe palpitations.

Easier to regress to the repressive age-old Catholic way of encouraging sexual guilt with the sex is dirty spiel. :)

Ryan Reynolds plays Will, a sweet, sensitive modern-day dad in the midst of an amicable divorce telling his daughter played by the adorable Abigail Breslin the story of how he met her mother. But as he tells the heavily censored PG-13 story, he substitutes the names to make it a romantic whodunit so that neither his daughter nor the audience knows which of his leading ladies ends up being the wife. And in the telling finally come to realize which lady actually holds his heart.

But boy, the man certainly enjoys proposing.

Ryan Reynolds
Then again, would you mind?

Then again, it's Ryan Reynolds - and our Pizza Place guy has certainly grown up real well. Who would dare say no? The man can make me call him daddy anytime.


me said...

lol! i wonder how would a formal sex education be like. plus, seeing that our fellow malaysians are so swakoo, it's hard to teach sex in a class, really.

Queer Ranter said...


He's cute!

Sex ed here? Hmmm. I was kinda giving my class one with C back in the days. Heheh. The look on the teacher's face when we were about to teach them how to wear a condom on a cucumber. That was priceless. :P

Jaded_Jeremy said...

I actually did learn about sex, well essential stuff about how embryo is created, during Biology class in Singapore in Secondary 3 (equivalent to Form 4 in Malaysia). The teacher just taught it as a matter of fact.

I like the movie. It's humourous and sweet :-)

Lewis said...

Funny, I never remember "the talk." I couldn't stand the thought of sex with a chick ever. Even before I knew about it, it never appealed to me. (And they say we aren't born THAT way.)

aaronng88 said...

swakoo >< haha..
i think msian too immature to handle sex ed la.. probly increase hiv and abortion tim.. wit all those kampong ppl trying wat hey learnt in class -.-

Sam said...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! I went to watch it too! I am so in love with Isla Fisher - she's so funny, hilarious and down-to-earth in this! :D

Can't wait for Confessions of a Shopaholic now... :)

And Ryan was sooooooooooo... hawt. :P

Loved the movie. Think it'll be one of my faves now.

Dashing Dan said...

It was a pretty good movie. And why explain it to your kids? There are lots of id's books which can help do that without being overly graphic. Just leave it around and they'll get the idea.

c.v. said...

never really had a formal education about sex either. perhaps scaring the shit out of them with grostesque pictures of STD and childbrith, up close and in color, they might be detered form engaging in sex or unprotected sex.

Jason said...

Oo.. Ryan! Looove him!

savante said...

Swakoo... :) Muahahha.

Condom on a cucumber. How could anyone stop laughing, queer rant? :)

So did we but it was clinical stuff. Sex ed should be more than that, jeremy.

Same here, lewis.

They are gonna do it anyway, aaron. So we might as well give them some advice.

Ryan Reynolds. Yum, sam.

Leave it around? What if the neighbours see it, dan!

Can scare them by bringing them to work too, cv.

I heart Ryan as well, jason.


mrs phillippe said...

i'm quite a fan of ryan, he's definitely adorable and nice to look at in any movies he acted in :-)