Saturday, April 19, 2008

Luckless Lovelorn Lads

Guys, listen up. One of my favourite jazz standards. Yet I find myself hating the lyrics even as I listen to the heartbreaking ( though self-pitying ) song.

If you want something, go for it - most especially when it comes to love. Seriously. Wishing and hoping is all good but it isn't going to mean a thing if you don't ever make a move. After all, faint heart never won fair maiden ( nor knight depending on your personal preference ).

While it certainly doesn't compare to facing an approaching hostile army armed with a dull wooden stick, approaching a lady fair can sometimes seem almost as daunting. Takes a brave guy to make a move. Still much better than being the spineless wimp who never even tries. Usually they end up painfully crucified in the course of the story - or even worse, weeping over a beer bottle at the end of the tale as the hero rides off triumphantly into the sunset with their loved one.

Or as in my colleague's case, they all end up sad and heartbroken as she flies off into the northern wilderness in search of greener pastures.

If you've been reading my blog, you'll know who she is easily enough. After all, her sheer enthusiasm can be pretty infectious. Hell, if I were straight, I'd probably be caught in her fatal siren's call as well - weaving mindlessly in her toils like the rest of her luckless lovelorn lads. Fortunately I don't lean that way - and yet I find myself surprisingly intrigued by her as well. Ever since she burst into our lives like a potent firecracker, her effusive joie de vivre has brightened up many a dreary work day. Certainly not the lush womanliness of Preity Posh or the down-home charm of Shameless Shalom but few can deny her sharp, elfin looks or her sweet, gamine charms.

Certainly not her army of suitors.

Yet she remains oblivious to her beguiling ways. Bewitching her helpless lads with her come-hither smile, not even realizing as they fall to her feet that she has already caught them under her enchanting spell.

I suspect even Bootlicking Bob has gotten inadvertently tangled in her delicious web, rendering him speechless under the onslaught of his termagant harpy.

So you can imagine the sudden hysterical outpouring of emotion when our sexy siren recently announced her going away. Duty calls so she leaves soon for the north. No doubt we'll find the city streets literally strewn with the castaway bodies of her despondent suitors soon as she says her last farewell.

Definitely Maybe
Don't leave me!

Yet till she announced her departure, none of her luckless lads have made a move. Only at the very last moment have they all suddenly collectively crept out of the shadows to make their heartfelt wishes known. You can already imagine her frustration.

WTF! Now he tells me he loves me? I didn't even know we were dating!

Which I find unusual. The lady doesn't even know she's being courted? Takes a fucking year to let her know? Exactly what has gone wrong with straight men today? Procrastination? Diffidence? Stupidity? Perhaps a sheer lack of cojones?

Me, I'd already have attempted unhooking her bra by the third date at the least. Gotten a quick slap for my inspired efforts no doubt but at least I'd have tried. Well that's all assuming I'm straight of course but trust me, you'd know my feelings loud and clear. Probably be posted out clearly in skywriting.

What's the use of hiding? I prefer to know where I stand rather than to pine hopelessly full of regrets for what might have been.


aaronng88 said...

yay michael buble~~ =p

Jason said...

I did make a move what!
I did that and this and... ops.

savante said...

How could I not include buble, aaraon :)

You did make a move? LIke when, jason?