Marauding Medieval Mamas

I enjoy my readers.

Don't say it often enough but I do. After all, folks who post their deepest thoughts online always have that streak of sheer exhibitionism - no matter how deeply buried beneath crusty layers of staid conservatism. Otherwise bloggers like us would be keeping our thoughts in leather-bound diaries firmly under lock and key ( like I used to! ) rather than post out loud and proud in the vast, open wilderness of the internet!

I assume the majority of blog readers are guys kinda like myself who enjoy whiling away a ten minutes a day going through the harrowing events of someone else's life. Walk a mile in a stranger's shoes so to speak - to live vicariously through their experiences, hopefully learn a lesson or two, share a couple of laughs and maybe shed a tear. Nothing better to remind us that we're all human after all - and that our experiences aren't all that singular.

There's always someone out there who can empathize after all.

Well at least I thought I'd made a reasonable guess on who my regular readers were. Turns out I was wrong.

Found out this morning that Lissome Lorelei's Mama actually paid a surprise visit to my blog. Talk about court intrigues. Didn't even know that Lorelei has finally found my blog but now her mama knows as well? Telling me in a nonchalant, off-hand manner as she breezed past the pantry, Lorelei obviously didn't realize that I was this close to choking on my morning java.


Good God.
Your mother knows about us?
Needless to say, I was horrified. Could have knocked me over with a feather, I swear! Took me five seconds hastily running through the varied contents of my blog to recall if I'd written anything vaguely defamatory about Lorelei. Apart from wondering briefly how we ever met, I don't think I ever maligned her ( unfortunately besmirched ) reputation which was quite a relief.

Since gosh, her mama reads this.

Not precisely embarassed of course - since a thick-skinned cad like me feels little shame about the things I say - but I guess you could say I was a tad unsettled. Seriously. A protective mama reading my wildly uncensored posts? What would she think?

My reputation. Iago, my reputation!


My dear Lorelei, I must have a word with you!
No doubt Lorelei's Mama is astonished at the foul-mouthed, perverted company that her sheltered daughter keeps.

Mama : My word! Good gracious, my darling daughter, what sort of scurrilous knave is this Saint Wicked?
Lorelei : A friend from work.
Mama : Tsk tsk, sullying my sweet girl's tender ears with such unexpurgated filth. The scandalous shenanigans! The debauched perversions. This certainly won't do! You should take better care whom you consort with, my child.

Wouldn't be surprised if Lorelei's Mama files for a temporary restraining order to protect her daughter from my disreputable self. Perhaps I could disclaim all knowledge of the blog, plead innocence and offer a perfectly baffled face when Lorelei insists otherwise. :)