Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Attack of the Red Eye

A number of my friends have remarked on the relative ease of obtaining an MC - Medical Certificate. Of course I still balked at the very idea of handing them out like sweets as a sop ( how unethical! ) to the overly demanding patients - though it's been proven to me time and again that it's shockingly simple to receive one without much fuss or muss. And without seeing the physician in question even. Unfortunately such unlawful clinics ( with such overly lenient physicians ) find themselves in high demand by the adoring - and obviously truant - community.

Doesn't mean I don't find the widespread practice utterly contemptible! Especially since I usually take pains not to get an MC if I possibly can. Hence the so-called alternative treatments - ayurvedic, aromatherapy and such - before resorting to modern antibiotics.

Seriously, as an intern, I've gone to work wracked with a productive cough ( wore a mask ) coupled with a raging fever with chills and rigors.

Dedication?

Not really. It's more from an acute shortage of staff in the department at that time. Unfortunately just one less does mean a ward catastrophe sometimes ( especially when you already have an unfortunate colleague on a chest drain for pleural effusion ). Practically had to hold myself upright by leaning on the closest solid object lest I fall in a clumsy swoon to the ground.

Ah those torturous days. Small wonder I've tried to erase some of the more harrowing periods from memory.

But the friends I made then I never forgot. Which is why I made my way to Eagle Eyed Eddie when I desperately needed an eye check-up. See, that dratted cough of mine has spread to the eye. Following the usual sequelae of events, the germs have taken a quick weekender into my eye causing conjunctivitis instead.

Drat those germs.

David Beckham
Can you see whether my eyes are red?

So by this morning, my eye was demonically red enough that a number of my more fainthearted colleagues screamed in abject horror ( and then subconsciously flapped their hands as if to rid themselves of the spectre of infection ) before urging me to the closest isolation unit to be quarantined. More like forced me out the door at needle-point.

Paul : G'morning!
Colleague #1 : Beware! Thou hast the foul taint of the plague!
Colleague #2 : Oh waily! He hath touched my skin! I am unclean! My kin! My babes! It's my sad fate to tragically pass on before the day is through.
Colleague #1 : Get thee away from here, Paul! Leave this place!
Paul : Did you guys just get back from a Renaissance Faire?

No doubt the wards I'd visited earlier have been hastily decontaminated by the ever-efficient cleaning crew.

I was summarily dismissed from work only to seek solace with Eye Eddie who after taking one quick glance, shoved some eye drops at me along with a stern admonition ( and an MC! ) not to appear in public for a couple of days at least. Far from sympathizing with my plight, he bade me hurry to hide in an isolation colony else I start an eye epidemic :P

So that's my first official MC for... let's see, two years?

Hell, I do need a break after all.

10 comments:

Lewis said...

I must admit, I've been viewed as unclean a few times myself. With the red eye syndrome! From cat allergies which cause enormous flare ups...I look like some sort of creature from the lagoon....swollen membranes ont he eye, puffed up until I can hardly even see out, and itching so bad I can't stand it. It's nice to know I have fellow club members.

daohui said...

Who doesn't love MC? We all do. Hehehe.

MC stands for Mahu Cuti. :P

Sincerely, King Bitch said...

I hope your eye gets better!

Annie said...

Too many bottles of that fine Irish Scotch there Paul? C'mon, you know it's not germs, it's called a HANG.OVER that's causing red eye.

but if it's true, I'm sorry for your germ battles. I'm not afraid to go to the doctors, I prefer the ER much better because then you get to oogle the hunky paramedics and police officers in their tight handsome uniforms. *sigh*

*cough* I feel a cough coming on. I must go to the ER! Immediately! Where are my high heel pumps?

Legolas said...

My poor darling.

Sam said...

Perhaps it's time to take out the eye and replace it. Bwahahahaha~

Ah-Bong said...

yay! mc! :P

aaronng88 said...

GET WELL SOON Mr Paul!!! =p

haha~ time for u to have a guilt-free over sleep session~

chase / chubz said...

minus one staff and its catastrophe?
wow, that difficult.

savante said...

You're certainly not the only one, lewis.

Wish I'd gotten it on Monday, daohui :P

Thanks, king bitch. Hope it does!

Dang. Seriously wish it was a hangover. So much better, annie. And far more glam.

Thanks, babe.

Wish I could. Maybe with some bionic eyes. With powerful laser beams, sam.

No argument there, ah bong.

Thanks, aaron.

I know. It was that short, chase!

paul