Or if the gay men had their way, an endless parade of underwear.
Don't get me wrong. I know a man needs more than a single pair of worn tanga briefs to survive. I mean, even factoring in daily washings, a regular guy would need at least a week's worth - minimum. Just imagine finally getting lucky with that hot jock at the gym - only to realize that you're wearing dirty used underwear at the last minute!
Jock : Come on, let's get down and dirty. Take it off.
Average Joe : Uhh... I can't. Can I keep my clothes on?
Jock : Huh?
Not exactly the sexiest come-on. Let's face it, only the hottest, fittest guys can pull off torn, stained ( eeeeww ) week-old jockstraps! And that's only... barely. By the seat of their pants, you'd say. Even then probably only the serious fetishists would dare creep near.
Damn. I wouldn't have bitten off his shorts if I'd known..
So short of looking like meltingly hot ( and impossibly perfect ) Chris Evans on his very best day, I'd suggest getting some. Underwear I mean. Reasonably presentable ( non-holey ) ones too. Unless you intend to go chafing in commandos the entire day while the washing dries.
Rest of us average joes have to contend with at least a fresh pair on a daily basis - or two if it's been a particularly ... edgy day. That little dribble. Cum stains. Skid marks. I think you get the point.
But seriously how much underwear does a man need? Straight guys would probably recommend a decent dirty dozen ( a reasonable amount if you ask me ) but for a gay man, it seems as if the numbers would creep slowly into the double digits, if not the hundreds. Seriously. Just check out the dresser drawer if you want to tell the difference between the regular homo and the straight dude.
It boggles the mind - and certainly explains the sudden proliferation of specialty underwear shops. Some are even prepared to spend a mini-fortune on a scrap of cloth barely a few inches squared. Do they have one for every occasion? One for Christmas with mistletoe and shiny balls? A special meet-the-queen drawers? Do they have special designer boxers for dinner? That special lacy black thong for a naughty date?
Or perhaps the boys exchange undies after they part? Kinda a farewell token from a particularly memorable one-night-stand?
Boy #1 : Here have this CK thong.
Boy #2 : Delish. I'll sniff it to remember you by.
Boy #1 : Or wear it tight, up close to your balls so you'd know how I feel.
Ooookay. Maybe not.
So tell me, why?