Saturday, February 23, 2008

Manorexia

Lissome Lorelei certainly has her own peculiar taste in men. Like just the other day when we shared a lunch at a cafe to spy over a hunky buff waiter with biceps.

Okay. I spied. She lunched.

Paul : Damn. I'd like to spill that mushroom soup on him and lick him all over.
Lorelei : That's your type?
Paul : He's everyone's type. I could wrap him up in wrapping paper and bring him home right now.
Lorelei : Too buff! Too macho!
Paul : Huh?
Lorelei : I like them skinny.
Paul : You like stick men?

Now I see where the prevalent notion came from since Lorelei clearly isn't the only one to have such thoughts.

Such as the boys. When you're out with a bunch of gay men, they tend to watch their food intently, desperately calculating the cholesterol-laden calories in each bite. Which is fine. No one wants a bunch of supersized mcfatties. Call it superficial and shallow but it's ( painful but ) true.

And let's face it, to get those sculpted abs and ridges on the loins, you gotta have less than 5% body fat.

But would you actually want a stick figure? Obvious enough from the billboards that the idealized image of a man just shrank dramatically in the past couple of years. Like their female contemporaries, the men just seem to have diminished in size and stature. Just read this article on the rapidly vanishing male models. No doubt we'll be hearing of more cases of manorexia soon enough.

Slim
Do I look fat...

Seriously, I know they might look fabulous in super-slim figure-hugging suits but I wouldn't date them. I know I have a type - and my type is far from the ideal androgynous waif type.

Forget about slim boyish twinks with chicken chests and pencil thighs. I like them big and buff. Why would I date the guy who invariably got sand kicked in his face at the beach in those infamous Atlas ads of yore? I want to date a meaty bohunk of a man ( maybe even with some reasonably comfortable padding ) not the frickin scarecrow. And I like knowing he can bench press the hell out of me.

Seriously. Any man who looks as if I could shove him off the balcony with very little effort on my part need not apply. :P

11 comments:

Lewis said...

I was skinnier than hell growing up. Wore a size 26-28 inch waist until high school. And boys kicked sand in my face and I screamed like a little girl. I won't bother filling out the application.

glog said...

Thank goodness I am not the only one!

I have skinny legs and waist too...
so doctor, what would you prescribe to buff up tiny guys who gets their faces kicked with sand all the time?

Janvier said...

There's a good range between buff and slim that's just right!

strapping.shane said...

This post is just begging adik to shoot you. :P

Annie said...

LOL! Lewis is funny. Skinny is *IN*.. but I thought only for the women... This is news to me dear Dr. Paul. Who wants a guy who can't stand if you blow at him? Wait... crap.. let me reword that.. ummmm... basically, a MAN is supposed to be able to kick ass. If he can't push me over with his hunky body, how's he supposed to protect me from other stalking men? because ya know I have SO many stalking men, I need someone to hide behind - a big tree trunk, not a stick.

Which for Asian men I must say, their body type is usually on the thin side. Genetics? or good nutrition?

Anyway, well said *clap clap clap*

Daniel Henry said...

cuz we're fabulous.
and you know it.
and you're not.
and you're jealous.
no, not that we are thin,
cuz we can EAT!
:P

savante said...

Awww, lewis! Certainly not directed at any one of you. :) And you're fabulous enough not to need an application.

Revenge will come. Relax. It's best served cold, glog.

That's what I mean, janvier.

Well I already gave him fair warning before I wrote it, shane :P And I swore not to mention his name.

Thanks... Anniiieee... :)

Muahaha. That's true, daniel!

paul

nakedwriter said...

there goes my interview and admissions!

Sincerely, King Bitch said...

We have the same taste in men. I like mine muscular and meaty (but not as muscular as a bodybuilder)! :p
I used to diet, but that didn't work for me and I was hungry all the time. Now I don't diet, I just eat a balanced and healthy diet, and work out a lot. I should get the body I want in about four months. I can't wait!
One of my fantasies is to work out at the gym with a hot muscle dude -- have him as a spotter during bench press -- and make out afterwards when we're all sweaty and pumped. Oops, I think I got carried away. =D

BoobooStrider said...

ouch...
tough to be 'fleshy' like me.
but i'm not a mowdel so i guess i can get away with it.

nemesis-on-fire said...

i prefer big men to skinny guys. even if he has more meat than is considered beautiful :P

LOL!! Annie: i think u meant that line both ways :P

but yeah, i want a man with bulk :)