Paying bills and creaking knees

I must have made some mention before in the blog on this. :) Paying bills plain pisses me off. Not only do I hate doling out cash to pay, I also hate waiting in neverending queues waiting. And snce I'm the man of the house, so to speak, I have to pay for the house, the car, the electricity, the water, the cable, the phone... etc. The bills never seem to end.

But it does make you think about life. The first time I paid my bills ( not too long ago I'm afraid since I was in med school for some time :) ), I felt so terribly adult about it. Paying bills seems almost like a rite of passage to adulthood - right up there with the graduation cap and gown, and the first paycheck - and yeah, the inevitable tearing of the condom packet before.. *ahem* But I digress.

Standing in the post office queue, I turned around for a look and realized, hell, I've actually gone and somehow turned into ... an adult. Looking into the faces of veritable kids with their punked up hair and skater dude outfits, I realized that I definitely wasn't the youngest there anymore. Not only did I pass the legal age of 21 years back, I've actually stepped into the somewhat respected company of older brothers and uncles ( hopefully a hip, dashing uncle! oh please, please, I am not asking for much!! ).

At work, I've actually been referred to as the registrar. Those who're not in the medical line wouldn't give a shit about that of course but it's actually a step up... Like the harshly closeted military, hierarchy in the medical world is closely adhered to for some reason. The step up comes with more responsibilities - and also creaking knees with the growing age obviously. And for a kid who's always been the youngest, it feels terrible :)

Damn. I feel like spanking Yummy Yee again for some reason.

A short note though to those who follow my stories, I added a little vignette for the Practical Magic story.

BTW, I hate smoking and I don't smoke personally but the pic tells you how I feel :)

Keys to the heart

Well, this Key to the Heart thing has been going around so I might as well take a whack at it while someone's commandeering my television set.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Actually it sounds eerily like me. Except for the fact that I don't feel like playing anymore! Is that what I want? NO! I want to settle. Quick.

God. I do sound desperate.

Bagged and tagged

A bunch of stuff over here... since I've been tagged by the sexy, wicked Sven!

A lifetime
Well, it's from womb to tomb. Hell, I can't say anything profound!

5 years ago
I was just beginning my housemanship in a general hospital - and I was scared as shit! Chockful of book-learnt knowledge ( whatever lil bits I managed to retain anyway! ) but without the experience and confidence to carry out what I was supposed to do.

1 year ago
Uhh... I was younger? And prettier?

Yesterday
I was dead tired and almost slept while writing.

Tomorrow
I have several ill patients to keep alive. I have a test to study for. I have to look a boyfriend to manage my bill payments :)

5 snacks I enjoy
Cheetos!
Godiva chocolates
Strawberries dipped in Chocolate
Pistachios
Chocolate Chip cookies
Hell, how do I keep slim like that?!

5 songs I know the words to
Have a good memory for songs and I can recall most that I love.

5 things I would do with $100,000,000
1 - Get a large mansion furnished beautifully bordered by acres of beautiful forestland!
2 - Quit my job and travel every once in a while. Buy stuff in exotic places for my large mansion.
3 - Save the bulk of it in funds and all... so that I'll have money for the rest of my life.
4 - Get a plastic surgeon boyfriend - or hell, get some surgery done!
5 - Open a lil shop - antiques and books!

5 locations I'd like to run away to
1 - Home
2 - London
3 - Paris
4 - Rome
5 - Firenze... I haven't been there! Sob!

5 bad habits I have
1 - Procrastinating
2 - Sloth
3 - White lies
4 - Driving too damned fast
5 - Too much snacks!

5 things I like doing
Unlike Sven, I like stating the obvious so...
1 - Sex
2 - Sleeping late in the mornings when it's cold and dark outside
3 - Reading late into the night with an incredible novel
4 - Watching television/movies
5 - Playing with my niece

5 things I would never wear
1 - Leather pants. It squeaks and it's hot.
2 - Frilly shirts. Tried it... looked terrible.
3 - Red underwear. Once saw a prefect at school with red underwear under his white slacks. It was like signalling a bull to attack.
4 - Fur
5 - Feather boas. Makes me sneeze.

5 TV shows that I like
1 - Sex and the City
2 - FRIENDS
3 - CSI
4 - Six Feet Under
5 - Carnivale

5 famous people I'd like to meet
Meet? I'd like to do more than meet them ( think Brad Pitt, Colin Farrell and three other studs in a hot tub ) so I'll pass with this.

5 biggest joys at the moment
1 - Getting the course I mentioned. It's also one of my biggest fears.
2 - The lovely Burmese lacquerware I bought
3 - Just being plain alive! You see so many people dying and sick... hell, it's just great being alive - in spite of being mediocre.
4 - Planning my next trip
5 - Reading all the blogs I'm linked to.

5 favourite toys
Can't think of any at the moment.. Perhaps my Russian matrushka dolls? Well, I do know a toy I like to play with and that's my ISO :)

5 people to tag
Winged man
Drew
Grave creek
Jay
Wei

Sports nut

Do I look like a sports nut to you?

Wait, don't answer that since you can't possibly see me here but I'm average.. everything. Height, looks, colouring. I wouldn't stand out in the crowd unless everyone else is dressed in drag with colourful boas and feathers - and even then it's my plain mediocrity that would draw the attention.

It's not a complaint. I like it. Sure I'd love to look like Colin Farrell and have guys crane their necks to look at my ass but hell, that's plain wishful thinking.

But that's not my point. Do I look like a sports nut? Do I look like the stereotypical beer-guzzling, belching, cussing sports fan? For some odd reason, Yummy Yee came over tonight and begged me... for my remote. Hell, if he'd begged for a spanking, I'd have given him one for free. But the kid wanted to watch football. It's only a local football game but it seems that he's so starved for balls ( yum! ) that he'd settle for even that. Seems like overworked house officers love to torture themselves further by living in spartan flats without any of the usual amenities - like a television. The kid doesn't even have a refrigerator.

Like the good daddy that I am, I stuffed him full of soda and chips - despite his complaints that I'm trying to fatten him up - and shoved him down on the couch to watch his damned football.

Hell, the only reason I watch football is.. yeah, it's so stereotypically gay but yeah, it's to watch cute guys run about in shorts.

Was that a goal?

At the end of a journey

Just wanna sleep before going back to the work grind again. Too many weddings and grilling sesions. And I'm much too exhausted after the drive back to write much :) Takes 6 hours from Penang to Melaka at a slow cruise. Hell, I admit it, I drive like a hellbent maniac - and that's one of the few similarities I share with my ISO ( well, that and our oversexed libidos ).

I absolutely love driving, I admit it, but it does get boring staring at the long winding road all day long with only a few shrubs and trees to provide some eyecandy ( would be different if they stuck some hunky, shirtless guys by the roadside! I should propose that to the Works Ministry to reduce road traffic accidents! ). Spent the hours listening to Blue, Alejandro Sanz and Michael Buble. Have I mentioned how much I love Alejandro Sanz's sexy voice?

Oh yeah - keep this quiet... - and don't tell the police but I whiled the time sending messages too. What can I say, I'm addicted! It's terribly difficult getting me on the cellphone at work so I usually resort to sending messages. Much easier than interrupting a sobbing relative during a lengthy explanation of how their parent passed on. Not a good idea to break the solemn conversation to gossip about a guy's extraordinarily large package while someone's life is at stake :)

Post wedding daze

Penang has left me a blimp. Unfortunate but true. As those who have been to Penang would attest, it's just so hard to resist the lure of the food there. In one day, I had fried kuay teow, fried oysters, curry mee, assam laksa, mua chi ( one of my faves ), a sinful amount of seafood, teo chew porridge...

I gleefully told my ISO and he got all green about it. We messaged back and forth during the wedding.

Paul : So if I put on 50 pounds would you still let me grope you?
ISO : Sure. But you'd have to buy me dinner first.

Hell, guess I'll have to start keeping some money! :) That sounds easier than dieting and sweating it out at the gym as my ISO suggested.

With all this talk about weddings...you might be thinking what wedding! Not it's not mine unfortunately but my cousin's wedding went on without any major mishaps. Apart from the fact that the groom had too thick a neck for his collar... and had to leave it messily unbuttoned with his tie askew. Seeing the tie I bought for him hanging desperately at the edges, I almost had an apoplexy. Feeling like J-Lo in the Wedding Planner, I finally dragged him into the backroom ( not what you think! ), forced him to take a deep breath, retrieved a all-purpose safety pin and clipped the collar together. An unkempt groom! It amazes me that we might share some genes!

One of the interesting things about a Chinese wedding is the tea ceremony. I don't know about the rest of y'all but I find the tea ceremony something almost essential in any Chinese wedding - and I would find it incredibly eccentric if the ceremony is bypassed for some obscure reason ( believe me, I have a few friends who have dispensed with it and then I had to talk them back into it ). Not only is it a good way to renew ties with the rest of the family - and give the unknown spouse a chance to greet some of her new odd relatives, in a Chinese family, it's also a chance to make a quick buck. Seriously! We're talking about gold and pearls - and stacks of cash here. And I'm not even going to mention the huge bling-bling that my cousin received from his in-laws. With his impressive size and the dirty stubble on his chin, he looked like a Chinese pimp rapper :)

The worrying part was my position in the tea ceremony. Tea is served by the bride and groom to their elders and those who are already married ( therefore stepping into a different stage in their lives ). The bride and groom are then served by their younger siblings and cousins - and those unmarried - in return for their red packets. So where do I stand? The gay, unmarried and older ( approaching 29!! ) guy?

I took the easy way out, shook their hands and got 50 bucks in return :)

My cousin took his wedding in a very lackadaisical way - just like nothing much was happening at all. Which amazed me! As usual, my relatives kept on nagging me about my singleton state ( so what else is new! :) ) and it was all I could do not to tell them that I'd be first in line to be married if I could! Even while we were celebrating, I could easily imagine myself in a love dove-gray suit with a rose pink tie ( neatly close-shaven with a collar that buttons! ). I've got all this great plans but no groom in sight yet. Maybe I should just give up and hire one :)

Especially since everyone expects me to be married soon. For some obscure reason, everyone thinks that I'm keeping some red-hot love affair secret. My aunts and cousins all think that I have something hidden in the closet ( well, they are partially right anyway ). Something about the cat got the cream kinda look on my face. Hell, I haven't gotten any cream in a helluva long time :)

Still in between naggings, I could console myself with the messages I kept on receiving... Sometime during the obligatory photo sessions, I received an SMS from Yummy Yee. All it said was.. 'Uncle! :)'

I guess some guys need to be taught a good hard lesson again.

Wedding morning

A short note here. The Chinese families over here have this odd ritual to collect the bride and I've been drafted into the gang, a motley crew comprising my younger cousins and myself - oh yeah, the groom of course. What we do is storm the castle, deal with their ridiculous demands ( from waxing our legs to singing a stupid love song ) and break down the door to get the bride. I already warned the groom ( my cousin ) that if she doesn't agree to our offers, we're leaving. Am not going to wait more than half an hour unless it's Brad Pitt. :)

Penang Daze

Well, took a short flight back up North for the wedding I mentioned. Have you guys noticed how cute some of the stewards in the planes are? Dang, I felt like slapping a few tight butts - and I certainly would have if they didn't overload my arms with magazines and peanuts. :)

So right now I'm in an old colonial pre-war coffeeshop in Penang ( that still serves thick black cofee and roti bakar! ), in one of the narrow streets and lanes... typing into an ancient terminal that is surprisingly hooked up to the internet! The floors are wooden planks that are old - and unsurprisingly rotten at parts but there are new shiny fixtures in the bathroom ( that was actually recently installed upstairs ). There is an old incandescent bulb flickering on the ceiling but there is also a new plasma screen that my uncle got from a trip to Singapore. Times are definitely a-changing and my grandfather would be helluva amazed! And grateful for the larger screen :)

Not sure how often I'll be online though since I have a pack of relatives waiting to use the terminal. Guess most of my cousins are grown up and hooked to the rest of the world too.

All about the Bats

Well, it's midday now and I've just woken up. A late night, I'm afraid. And no, it's not what you guys think. Definitely no nookie on my ISO's side. We both ( well, I did anyway ) slammed an embargo on that kinda hanky panky long ago - of course with some allowances for groping :)

We actually went for a late night movie - and managed to catch Batman Begins. I feel like the last person on earth who has seen it. And I have to admit that it does deserve the rave reviews. Never have I seen a movie so faithfully based on the comic book - and I'm pleased to see Bruce Wayne's tortured life fleshed out just as I imagined it.

Christian Bale plays the role of the Bat and I actually liked him in it ( unlike his predecessors ). I've always had an odd fascination for the tortured Bat but oddly enough none of the Batmen on screen have actually given me that particular zing. I got a zing from Hugh Jackman's Wolverine, I got a zing from Chris Evan's Human Torch and I definitely got a huge zing for Brad Pitt's Mr Smith but nothing from Christian Bale's Batman. Sure, he's cute, built, sexy and all... but no zing.

So that's about the only downside I can think of. Well, apart from the fact that Katie Holmes doesn't play a convincing district attorney. Please, she looks like she barely escaped from Dawson's Creek.

Exhausted

Well, how else should I be? :) And it's not a good type of exhaustion - that would signify having fallen deep into slumber after an earth-shattering orgasm, covered in sweat and cum...

No, this isn't that kind of exhaustion. This is the bone-tired, mind-sapping tiredness that comes over you after a whole day's work. Not only couldn't I get leave for my errands to day, I had to leave after doing two elective cases in the operating theatre ( thank God, they were short - just a bunch of preauricular sinuses for excision )... then I had to run back, packy my bags in a jiffy and drive like a fucking maniac up to Kuala Lumpur. And then comes the traffic jam which is one of the things Kuala Lumpur is infamous for.

I managed to finish two of my tasks today - which is great since I have yet to find the Ring. Oops, wrong story. But my work here's almost done which is a relief. Getting the course that you want over here means a helluva lot of legwork. :)

But somehow having my feet touch the grounds of a shopping mall rejuvenates, refreshes and reenergizes me. Like the hallowed grounds of Tara to Scarlett O'Hara, I am utterly revived just being here. The people, the shops, the bargains... So now I'm resting my feet in One Utama, a shopping mall in town.... and waiting for my ISO to bring his credit card :) Time for some mooching.

Busy weekend

Gonna have a busy weekend! Not only do I have my cousin's wedding this weekend, I also have to get the registration for my course done by then. And with the amount of bureaucracy over here, that means running from one department to another, one ministry to another - all 'conveniently' located on different quarters of the city. A lot of footwork these few days.

Still, it's an opportunity to take some leave and relax away from work. A welcome break actually. Sure, I love what I do at work but the politics and the bitching can sometimes get to me so it's nice to have some time away ( before I go insane ).

Maybe even mooch off my ISO's credit. :)

Call me Uncle

I spanked a guy at work yesterday.

Still it was impossible to resist at that moment.. I was on-call yesterday in the intensive care unit, quite a busy one as it turned out with a slew of admissions. Coincidentally Yummy Yee was on-call as the junior house officer too ( in primary medicine ) and I tagged him for some blood samples. There was an elderly gentleman with chronic obstructive airways disease and he needed an urgent arterial blood gas ( amongst other things, inclusive of a new lung :) ).

After nodding for several minutes and recording the list of orders I barked out, Yummy Yee suddenly turned to me with a mischievious twinkle in his eye and replied, "Yes, Uncle."

Once every six months or so, I do something utterly inappropriate and totally uncharacteristic. Since I already groped my ISO in public, I figured I'd fulfilled my quota for the year. Obviously I was wrong. Reminders of my impending senility has been all around me lately and I can see the big 30 looming in the horizon two years from now. Moving on to another stage of my life with the course I mentioned was another.

Uncertain of what possessed me at that moment, I suddenly flipped Yummy Yee onto the desk counter and gave him three light spankings in succession on his cute bubblebutt.

"That's for calling me Uncle."

Am I crazy or what?

Fear of the future

We all present different faces to the people we know. The brilliant and scary neurologist at work turns into a subservient, quiet wife at home. The rough-and-tumble, foul-mouthed street tough changes into a kind, gentle brother at home. Those I know would describe me as independent, sarcastic, outspoken and gregarious ( if they don't describe me in far more unflattering terms :) ), the fun, somewhat interesting, quirky one in the family. But oddly enough I don't see myself that way. I always see myself as a lil shy, awkward, terribly tongue-tied with strangers ( especially tall, dark, handsome ones ) and... yes, terrified of change.

Believe it or not, I hate change. I like my life the way it is. I like waking up knowing what I'm gonna do for the rest of the day. Get up, go to work 9 to 5 ( well, sort of but my hours are way more erratic than that :) ), get dinner, get home to bed. It might be a fucking boring rut but dammit, it's my rut and I like it. Like the stereotypical science/medicine nerd, I like schedules, plans and order.

I hate uncalculated risks. I hate vague futures.



And that's what I've gotten myself into. If you recall the course I found myself rejected for being just a tad too inexperienced... well I sent an appeal - and amazingly, especially with the twisted bureaucracy present in Malaysia, I have been selected. I have already neatly placed all thoughts of the course one year into the future and to have my plans suddenly overset has left me more than a little unsettled. Sure, I'm pleased as punch by the fact that I've gotten into the anaesthesiology course I've wanted for so long but now... I'm terrified. Can I do it? It has been so long since I really mugged like crazy so can I crack open the textbooks again?

Hell, just when I cut down on the caffeine. :)

Daredevil

A quiet Sunday to catch up on my reading, especially since I just got a giftpack from my ISO - and also the package from Amazon that I've been waiting for. Everyone knows I'm obsessed with reading - and yeah, I read all sorts of books... you name it, I've probably flipped through it somewhere ( I'd be the dream employee of a major bookstore ). And yet very few people know of my fetish for leather :) Not that! I mean, comic book heroes.

And why wouldn't I have fetish for them? Have you guys even looked at the tall, dark and absolutely gorgeous Nightwing? Or even the sweet, mild-mannered hottie of a redhead, Matthew Murdock who dons red leather in the night as the Daredevil?

Although he doesn't understand the crazy fetish, my ISO obviously has given up on reforming me and purchased a Daredevil graphic novel. It has been a long while since I've read a comicbook and I'm gonna savour it. Slowly, page by page. Damn, Matthew Murdock is still as steamy as ever - and just the sort of quiet, sad-eyed man I'd love to fuck against a wall. Yum.

My ISO also got me a book but that's something else entirely :) He bought me the book based on the movie, Mr and Mrs Smith - and left a note on the front page for me ( and I know Sven will love this! ) that says this.
Let's do this again :)

Start to diet? Never!

Well, that's exactly what I told my grinning ISO when he insists that in order to lose that stubborn lil bit of flab around my tummy, I'd have to go on a diet. It didn't help that he saw me half-naked for the most part of the day as I trotted in and out of changing rooms. Supposedly the occasional ab crunches helps but not that much... I still have to diet like the proverbial Hollywood starlet/stick.

But I'm weak. I can't say no. I need my proteins - preferably in sinfully indulgent, oily, thick, succulent pieces. Eating steamed chicken without the skin and the occasional energy bar crap ( in lieu of real food ) like he does would slowly and painfully kill my soul. Steeling myself to resist temptation and say no to peanut butter slathered pork ribs would be nigh impossible.

Perhaps liposuction?

Working out

Finally got the shirt I wanted - the one I planned to wear for my blockhead cousin's wedding :) Seriously, he's a nice guy but he's so straight, narrow-minded and provincial that it amazes me that we might have genes in common.

Still the frightfully pink shirt I got for the wedding should be just unconventional enough to irritate him. Despite my protests, my ISO tagged along with Eye Eddie and me on this trip, offering his unwanted comments ( and his incessant advice to further bulk up at the gym...! ). Certainly could have gotten some shiny, sequinned baby tee squealing Faggot in bright rainbow colours but that's a little too much even for me so I settled for a lovely pink and white striped shirt from Kenneth Cole. Should lok great teamed with the salmon pink Hermes tie.

Still it was a funny situation on my part. That occurred to me while I was in the Kenneth Cole store - which I have to admit has to be the gayest place on earth since there were a number of guys there who had my long-rusty gay-dar picking up signals like crazy. I suspect a few of the salesmen were leaning towards the homoside of the Kinsey spectrum too since I caught one of them blatantly ogling my ISO's trim butt. Sure, he's my ex but that doesn't mean I enjoy watching other people drooling over him ( and ignoring my hardly obvious charms :) ) What made it worst was the fact that everything my ISO tried on looked great, including a horrendous looking paisley print that I imagined even Brad Pitt couldn't carry off! Proof positive that working out and dieting works. Obviously Eddie and I were not amused.

But that wasn't the funny part. All three of us picked items to try on and I realized while I was changing that I'd actually... touched them both intimately. That I actually knew for certain what was in their pants :)

I have been naughty.
I should be spanked.

Time to relax

Finally finished the tests I mentioned - and it's such a fucking relief! I feel like offering everyone a free grope! Such a burden off my shoulders, I know what I said earlier about flunking exams - but hey, I still have this crazy inborn urge to pass exams!

Eye Eddie :) Yeah, I know I groped him before but if I did it again, I think he'd faint from the shock ( and I'd have the unenviable task of resuscitating ). After all, he already suffered from a near panic attack the last time. Sure he's a flaming fag ( and obviously loves having his dick fiddled with ) but he's also damned shy, serious and conservative into the bargain. While not precisely handsome, he has this quality that I love - and he wears glasses ( have I ever talked about my shameless fetish for bespectacled guys in suits? ) Why the heck do I keep on meeting these guys?



So a year or two back when I slipped my hand under the sheets, it freaked him out majorly. Can't even recall why the sudden maniacal urge came over me but then I've always had a ... tingle when he was around, and hell, there was absolutely nothing on the telly so I found an outlet for my boredom - and let my fingers do the walking. Engrossed in the news of the world, Eddie suspected nothing even as my wicked hand travelled down his taut stomach down to his pubes. But when my fingers curled around the base of his cute dick, I thought he was going to seek an escape by leaping out of the hotel window. The sweat, the dilated pupils, the palpitations, the heavy breathing... I thought he was suffering from an impending cardiac arrest. Luckily he couldn't leave since I had a firm grip on his balls.

But that's all in my sordid past and I've reformed myself. So on this trip and obviously during dinner, I've restrained myself from playing naughty wandering fingers, remained perfectly mature and kept my hands to myself ( although I wouldn't have minded spanking some of the cute waiters on their butts ). If I tried anything remotely wild, I seriously doubt his heart could stand the stress. :)

Dressing room car

It's all about clothes these days. Since I didn't want to be caught wearing boring shirt and pants ( but the most fabulous Hermes tie! My sole indulgence! ) to meet Eye Eddie for dinner, I brought over some clothes to the course today. Surprisingly I enjoyed myself at the course which was intensive as hell but it dragged on for longer than I imagined. How anyone could ask so many questions about acid-base disturbances was beyond me!

Only managed to rush out barely minutes before my dinner date so I had to change in the car stuck in a jam. Have you ever torn off your clothes in a hurry while trying to keep your gaze on the road? Started tearing off my shirt and tie - and tossing them all over the place as I kept my foot on the pedal. Don't try this while you're driving, kids.

Didn't take off my pants though. That would have been a little too much :) And hell, I'm no longer that young - nor that flexible.

Linen things

Well, I haven't mentioned the fact that I have another wedding to attend next week. Nothing new, I guess since I have been going to a ton of weddings recently. It's the time in our lives - well, at least for those of us who are straight - to get hitched to the ball and chain, and most of my peers have been busy tying themselves up with their significant other. I, on the other hand, am still groping my ISO in darkened cinemas.

The difference with this wedding is the fact that my younger cousin is getting married. My straight, older-looking, far more serious and stodgy cousin ( God, how did he get hitched before me!? ). So of course I had to look fabulous - and the fact that I'm supposed to be mugging for exams didn't stop me from looking for something.

Have always browsed around in British India but I have never actually bought anything ( apart from tons of home decor stuff :) ) so this time I decided to look at some shirts. For those who're wondering, British India sells stuff inspired by the British Colonial times in India ( terribly expensive linen and cotton apparel that they used to wear while they sipped their darjeeling teas on the verandahs watching polo ). Well, hell, had a hilarious time trying them out. I actually had my eye on this great white Irish linen shirt and tried it on. God. it was bloody see-through straight to my pecs and I never knew I had such prominent dark nipples. Had a real laugh in the changing room and had the salesgirls staring. :)

Well, at least Eye Eddie got a real eyeful when I met him for dinner.

One exam down

Finally finished one of the courses I mentioned - including the dreaded exam. 6 hours of essays ... and I believe I cooked up a whole load of bullshit for that. :) But surprisingly I think I might do okay for the exam since I don't think it was all too difficult - unless they have an impossibly high passing rate.

One down and one more to go on Friday. The next exam is based on intensive care so I gotta mug like hell for that. Drugs, ventilators and cardiac rhythms. It's a drag picking up my textbooks but what the hell. Feel like I'm back in medical school mugging desperately for the neverending tests and reports, chugging down jugs of instant coffee to keep awake through all that blathering medspeak.

Gotta meet up with an old friend at the course so it isn't all a loss. He isn't doing anaesthesiology like me but he'll be in the same hospital. Eye Eddie's a cute guy - and gay too. One of the handful of gay guys I actually met in med school. Isn't it weird how a bunch of gay guys could somehow find each other out in the midst of so many? :) Hell, come to think of it, I recall I groped him once in a hotel room too.

Seem to be groping guys all the time these days. Dang, I must be a bigger slut than I thought.

Flunking away

My misadventures in a darkened cinema and my ISO's pulsing dick has me thinking some crazy thoughts. No, I don't intend to drive up to KL and jump his bones ( though that sounds like a reasonable way of burning up some calories... beats the gym anytime ). As I slid my hands down his pants, I realized that it was actually kinda fun to let loose my inhibitions for once.

There are times when I feel that I've become such a boring stick-in-the-mud. I'm one of those guys in school who has never ever broken any rules. I never even skipped classes. Exams used to freak me out so much since I was terrified of flunking.

And now eventhough I have studied my ass off, I don't mind just flunking some courses this week! :) Dang, I knew playing with his dick would bust a few brain cells.

Weekend follies

Took some time to put up a post since I just came back from an on-call on Sunday. Well, I went for the movie. Why wouldn't I? It was a free meal and let me tell you boys, I don't turn down free meals ( especially with my measly pay and my inordinately expensive habits! ) - especially since my ISO doesn't scrimp when it comes to paying.

A few weeks back, I found an extremely posh lil nook in town, Howard's. Think discreet waiters, candlelit ambience and light jazz playing in the background. Just the perfect place for me to drag my ISO - and his all-important credit card to. Had some oysters and steak as I planned.

The only way to say this is to blurt it out fast without thought. So since I already had my piece of meat, I decided to give his meat a try. God, that sounded so much better in my head! I seriously can't believe the depths of degradation I've sunk to! I've never had the experience of feeling up a man in a darkened theatre ( though there was a time in Amsterdam but that was something else entirely ) but since I made a promise of sorts and I'm not the kind of man who reneges on his promises... so somewhere in the middle of the movie as Mr Smith goes up an elevator to blow away his pouty wife, my hand started going down my ISO's pants.

For such a man-slut, it's amazing how he keeps a semi-permanent hard-on in his pants all the time. Doesn't it ever wilt? Doesn't the blood start clotting in the penis? Instead of squirming, gasping or moaning in ecstasy, my ISO turned out to be one of the guys who could maintain a perfectly stoic look even while his dick was being played with. I would have thought that his nerve endings were dead if I hadn't felt a lively reaction down there.

And no, I didn't finish him off. I left him drooling for more. And the guards didn't come in to drag me out for public indecency as I feared. Most of the audience had their eyes glued to Angelina's distracting assets - and didn't notice the perverted doctor feeling up the guy next to him.

If this post sounds a little incoherent, blame it on my 24 hour on-call yesterday.

Lazy Weekends

Well, you guys all know what I do on lazy weekends... sleep around, read some trashy novels, watch the telly. Nothing too absorbing or taxing - and certainly nothing to improve the mind.

Actually tuned in to a bunch of DVDs I just received in the mail and one of them really made it to my really chocolatey sweet list. Just a funny, romantic movie that's just perfect for a a lazy Saturday morning. The Trip, written and directed by Miles Swain, traces the tumultuous course of a romance between two disparate personalities, a closeted gay Republican, Alan, and the radical gay activist, Tommy. Perhaps the story itself is fairly basic; the struggle with coming to terms with sexuality, a first love, and how life can change us in so many ways. Add that to the wonderful secondary characters and entertaining dialogue and you have a hit.

Not much sex or hard-core action ( though the two main stars are to-die-for, in Valley-girl speak :) I think I have a crush on Larry Sullivan who plays Alan ) but the story speaks for itself, both hilariously witty and yet incredibly touching at some moments. Although it briefly touches on the sweeping social changes of the 70s and 80s, that sombre mood isn't allowed to overpower the general lightheartedness of the movie. Hell, it's a sweet comedy romance not a earth-shattering social commentary.

Get a blanket, bring the popcorn and go watch it with someone you love.

Courses galore

Got this from pundit blogger, Sven.

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What kind of blogger are you?

A life blogger eh? Guess it is true in some ways so I shall tell something about my life this week ( and hopefully in as entertaining a way as possible! ).

Oddly enough, next week I will be leaping from course to course. Just found out today from my department secretary ( a singularly helpless, terribly fertile lady who spends her time in and out of the maternity suite ). Perhaps it is my boss' way of mollifying me for not getting what I actually wanted which is actually fine by me since I love attending courses.

Meeting people ( especially cute guys! ), sitting around listening to gabbing, absent-minded professors and chowing down buffet lunches... sounds great to me. The downside to the courses I've been given is the fact that I have to study really hard for the both of them since the damned courses also come with a set of exams which I hate ( and on diverse subjects! ). Can I say that I seriously loathe the guy who invented exams way back when? Probably a sadistic Chinese guy who wanted to torture the rest of his hapless descendants! Well, it's time to crack the dusty books open again!

Fuck.

Still, at least I can look forward to a free meal tomorrow night :) Steak and oysters for sure! Happily, my ISO doesn't pinch pennies when it comes to that and I'm a grateful freeloader. Shall also do some finger crunches to do some serious groping tomorrow.

For Your Eyes Only

Shh... This is for your eyes only. Keep this information quiet or he'll find out.

Late this evening, a somewhat suave young doctor was seen leaving the darkened cinema halls in town with an accompanying posse, two young lovelies going by the codenames of Shameless Shalom and Pouty Preity, and a sexy stalwart sidekick known as Yummy Yee. Obviously unable to resist the siren call of Brad Pitt's drum-tight abs, the doctor was drawn helplessly and inexorably towards the screens like the sailors called to their doom. Away from the wicked eyes of the all-seeing agency ISO ( InSignificant Other/InSufferable Oaf ), the quietly perverted doctor was able to indulge in his unrequited lust for well-built blond hunks with wicked smiles.



Well, if he can cheat on me, I guess I can do a little of the same with Brad. Sauce for the goose and all the rest. Damn, I don't think I ever looked that good ( as Brad ) in a white shirt!

And what can I say! I loved the movie. Not only does Brad Pitt provide the prerequisite male eye candy - strutting around in tight shorts half the time, Angelina Jolie does a pretty good job pandering to the straight frat boys too. Hell, if I were straight, I'd be drooling all over her pouty highness! Undoubtedly Mr and Mrs Smith has become one of my favourites this year, a quirky, hilarious romance that is a must for couples with differences.

Skin deep

Read Accidental Boyfriend's latest post and I can sinceely empathize. Let's face it, I'm no Brad Pitt heart-throb either, and probably never will be. I'm actually fine with that ( although I do have days when I wish I had tighter abs and a Colin Farrell face ).

I have good friends training as plastic surgeons here and I can get a new face, and a new tight bod if necessary ( you wouldn't believe what they can do with Nip/Tuck nowadays! ). But if I only had a pretty face, I doubt I could get a sense of humour implanted together with a brain transplant. :) Not so easy finding brain donors according to the neuro guys.

If that's not bad enough, standing next to my admittedly sexy ISO always makes me look worse than chopped liver. But like other beautiful guys, he takes it mostly for granted - and I like that in him. When I complain about my looks, he'll turn it around and start nagging me about gymwork - cardiovascular fitness, overall health and vitality etc... Never actually got into the gym routine since lifting barbells while looking intensely at the ceiling never gets me high. I used to humour him by falling in with his crazy ideas since he used to offer perverted sexual treats along with his well-intentioned advice - but that's all over since we both mutually dumped each other ( apart from the occasional grope ).

So now he just plain nags.

A very bad man

My ISO is a very bad man.

Sometime I have people ask me how I get ideas for my stories... sometimes I do dream them up but occasionally something like this happens to me. I believe I mentioned the grope and the tongue affair some time back. Well, after my initial fall from grace ( I have to admit, it wasn't the first time! ), I waited with bated breath for something... anything... and stubbornly the man resisted, keeping silent like the bloody Sphinx. Apart from some curiously worded, mildly suggestive instant messages, he stayed curiously mum on the embarassing affair. For a guy who shouts and yells at the least provocation, the silence was oddly uncharacteristic for him and it remained suspect to me.

And then he messaged me this morning at work - like we do every once in a while. ( Well, I have censored some of the more unsavoury messages he sent for the weak and fainthearted )

ISO : Mr and Mrs Smith. Saturday.
Paul : Nah. Can't wait that long. Catching it tomorrow.
ISO : Come on. I'll pay for dinner. You can steal my popcorn.
Paul : Hell, I'll steal Brad Pitt's popcorn!
( hey, I'm at work, I don't exactly think of witty quips while giving epidurals )
ISO : What the hell. You can grope me again. :)
Paul : ( shocked silence. I believe I dropped my pen on the floor )
ISO : I won't wear my underwear this time.
Paul : ( shocked silence as I recall how damned fine he looks with and without his underwear )
ISO : You know you like it. :)

So I remained silent, covered in shame. Oh, the shame! Ah, I should have known... the man is wicked!

A Date

Went out tonight - just for a short while since I was still a big groggy from a bad call the night before. Met one of the few gay men in town, a teacher incidentally. We had some laughs, some burgers and I have to admit, it was fun.

And amazingly, all the time... I had an odd, eerie feeling that I've met him before.

An Indecent Obsession

Actually got tagged by Jay for this little book meme ( BTW, what is a meme! ) - and like the obliging guy I am, I filled it out. Those who know me would know how obsessed I get when I'm reading. Hardly anything disturbs me when I'm in the grip of a new book, seemingly tied to the pages - and divorced to the rest of the world. It's a certifiable obsession.

How many books do I own?
Would love to say the numbers are nigh incalculable actually - and terrifyingly, I actually believe they might be. On a bad book month, I buy perhaps a handful of books - five at the minimum... and on an orgasmic day, I fill up several shelves with goodies from Amazon, Acmabooks and the jaunt to the local bookstores. So that comes up to a few thousands at last count and I keep them all in a room, in boxes and shelves - and also in the kitchen, in the living room, in the car, in my bag, in my coat...etc.



The last book I bought
A Dangerous Thing by Josh Lanyon. A gay whodunnit - and that's all I know about it. Well, not sure whether it's a good read since it's still at the bottom of the new pile but I'll be going through it tomorrow at work.

The last book I read
Well, that's got to be Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Interesting enough to last me a day :) As a lapsed Catholic, it was interesting enough to see the act of choosing the next Pontiff - especially with recent events.

Now reading Haunted by Kelley Armstrong from her Otherworld women series. What if your neighbour was a witch? What if your co-worker hunted the night with fangs bared? This series tells them all.

Five books that mean a lot to me
Well, this is actually a difficult one... I can't possibly limit myself to five books. That would drive me insane. The first few books that come to mind are usually stories tinged with romance since I'm a sucker for those. But if I had to choose at random with a proverbial gun to my head...

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Have to admit, it's an odd choice but it's one of the first real unabridged novel that I read - and I've loved it ever since. One of the evergreens that I pick up now and again to revel in. Four incredibly different sisters growing up together during the American Civil War.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Another old favourite that I've always loved. A timeless plot that has been remixed and rewritten time and again. And why not? The tale of the four Bennet sisters - and especially the brilliantly written Elizabeth - in their search for marriage and love ( hopefully hand in hand ) during the English Regency. And who could possibly say no to Mr Darcy? Or even all the other old-fashioned heroes dreamt up by Austen such as the deliciously stiff Mr Knightley in Emma.

Nightrunner series by Lynn Flewelling
While I certainly don't mind fantasy series that drag on into a million episodes, I do mind if they all have horrible endings. Sad endings are a drag, and I hate them. Fortunately, the boys in the series get the happy ending that they deserve - for now. Sword and sorcery with a great dose of political intrigue in this series set in the Three Lands. Unlike other stories, both Seregil and Alec actually don't possess any particular powers, magical or otherwise - both are charmers, conmen and thieves. And intriguingly enough, they are madly in love/lust with each other which gives it that little romantic twist that I always look for in a book.

Venetia by Georgette Heyer
Just a sweet lil romance by the Queen of Regencies... and I have to admit one of the wittiest stories around, bubbling with humour and sarcasm.

Kate Plus Ten by Edgar Wallace
A conservative copper falls for thief extraodinaire he's after. One of the first mysteries I read by Wallace. You always remember your first, after all.

Five more people to tag
Sven
Raphe
Jason
Drew
grave creek
So guys, tell us what you curl up with when it's late and cold at night ( something other than a hot, hard man ).

Small town gay boys

How do you actually find someone in a small town?

Just walking about keeping my eyes peeled for gay men doesn't work since it isn't actually that easy picking them out from the rest of the straight herd. Gay-dar sounds great in writing but it doesn't actually work that great in reality. Looking for guys in my workplace comes up to the same thing since we don't exactly wear our pink hearts on our sleeves for everyone to see - well, except for my rainbow flag pin. :) Unlike more liberal societies, Malaysian men don't exactly advertise their sexuality out in the open.

The obvious would be searching at the various gay hangouts in town. Unfortunately in my small place, there are none that I know of. Hanging out in dark, mosquito-infested public parks doesn't sound like a particularly inviting choice - especially since it seems to be sending out the totally wrong signals.

Recently, inspired by the various online romances I have heard about, I have placed several ads here and there - setting out hopefully seductive lures hoping that the big fish ( or at least the right one ) would take the bait. Tiny nibbles here and there but I haven't been pulled over by a shark yet.

I guess this is all a reiteration of sorts since I have griped about my situation before. Got all these thoughts swirling around since I just returned from a date tonight. And hell ( you can judge by the time I'm writing this ) obviously I still didn't get a spark - and I doubt I gave off any either :)

My ISO would yell at me if he knew I was getting all maudlin like this but it is getting quite disheartening sometimes - especially since I've been receiving so many wedding invitations from some of my lucky peers. Damn it, I am jealous! :) Like the proverbial homosexual Bridget Jones, the pressure is getting to me, I guess - especially with the big 30 looming in the next few years.

So, small town gay boys... what do you do?

Wilting rose

Such a disappointment.

Young men nowadays don't have much stamina, that I can tell you. Full of youthful verve and enthusiasm in the beginning but hell, they simply can't last through the night. By the time I was through with Yummy Yee, he was limp as an overcooked noodle. Couldn't even get it up any more.

Before you get any nasty X-rated ideas, I meant walking. My crazy walkabout tours usually last through the whole day till late at night where I drop by for a drink over at Harpers, a quaint drinking establishment situated by the banks of Malacca River. I have to admit it was a pretty hot day - certainly not a good day for a walk with a relative freshie.

Picked him up yesterday and he wasn't wearing a tank top unfortunately - but a plain tee and jeans. Was a little disappointed but hey, his butt still looks fine in jeans. By the time we were halfway down the street though, the kid was already soaked in sweat - and unbelievably looking even more lickable with the shirt plastered to his pecs. Hell, even then I knew I had to bring him into a cafe for some quick resuscitation coffee and cream cakes. He kept on saying he was fine but I stuffed his pouty mouth full of thick cheesy cream anyway.



The cafe owner who knows me quite well kept on staring at poor Yummy Yee - probably pegging him as a flaming fag - and possibly one of my unfortunate conquests. Yes, she knows that I'm gay ( since my ISO inadvertently pecked me on the cheek once on our excursions there ).

Kept the wilting studlet indoors for the rest of the evening and finally dragged him out for an early dinner and some drinks. What can I say? Not that I'm some kinda regular whisky/vodka drinker but Yummy Yee can't drink at all. That handsome face turned all shades of pink and I could see the tips of his ears growing redder by the second.

I cracked a joke that I'd be taking advantage of him - and that sexy body - at any moment and he blushed, stammering quite charmingly in reply. Hell, he's still cute as a button.

Intern's day out

Inspired by Sven's post, I decided to ask the cute intern out for a walkabout today. It's a weekend that's totally free for me - and that's the time I spend traipsing the various antique and curio stores in town. Since he was totally bored and surprisingly off this weekend too, Yummy Yee accepted my offer ( indecent proposition!? ). Although he did shake his head to my request that he wear a tight tank top and shorts. Come on, it's gonna be hot. I'm thinking of him. Really.

But isn't it weird? Why pump up those muscles and not show them off to the drooling public ( or just me then! )?

The State of Bachelorhood

Have been reading about a friend's recent homecoming - and the usual non-stop barrage of 'when are you getting married?' he received from his well-meaning but obviously misguided relatives. My sympathies! I believe getting the third degree about the perpetual state of their bachelorhood happens to be the rule for most Asian gay men - especially those who are somewhat closeted.

But just imagine this... I don't only get it from my relatives and friends, I also get a neverending list of questions from my staff. Yes, the diabolical nurses that I work with. It is almost inevitable that when a group of married older women ( AKA my nurses ) get together, they somehow seem to bond together ( despite their many differences ) over conniving matchmaking plans - and the very idea of a single, unmarried man in their midst is something to be universally decried. All available resources on their part is spent on unearthing every single female relative or acquaintance to bring to the poor guy's unwitting notice. Just imagine questions on your single state as you're placing a brannula into a patient's jugular vein! Tricky business trying to avoid probing questions at that time.

Since I had a reasonably free amount of time during my on-call last night, I received the full Turkish Treatment as they gathered around the counter with their litany of grouses. My nurses simply can't conceive how a reasonably healthy young man like me with home, hearth and a somewhat functioning car could possibly be single. ( Sometimes I wonder about that myself :) )

They have obviously missed the significance of the rainbow flag discreetly pinned on the lapel of my white coat. Perhaps I need a feather boa and a limp wrist to complement it.