Post wedding daze

Penang has left me a blimp. Unfortunate but true. As those who have been to Penang would attest, it's just so hard to resist the lure of the food there. In one day, I had fried kuay teow, fried oysters, curry mee, assam laksa, mua chi ( one of my faves ), a sinful amount of seafood, teo chew porridge...

I gleefully told my ISO and he got all green about it. We messaged back and forth during the wedding.

Paul : So if I put on 50 pounds would you still let me grope you?
ISO : Sure. But you'd have to buy me dinner first.

Hell, guess I'll have to start keeping some money! :) That sounds easier than dieting and sweating it out at the gym as my ISO suggested.

With all this talk about weddings...you might be thinking what wedding! Not it's not mine unfortunately but my cousin's wedding went on without any major mishaps. Apart from the fact that the groom had too thick a neck for his collar... and had to leave it messily unbuttoned with his tie askew. Seeing the tie I bought for him hanging desperately at the edges, I almost had an apoplexy. Feeling like J-Lo in the Wedding Planner, I finally dragged him into the backroom ( not what you think! ), forced him to take a deep breath, retrieved a all-purpose safety pin and clipped the collar together. An unkempt groom! It amazes me that we might share some genes!

One of the interesting things about a Chinese wedding is the tea ceremony. I don't know about the rest of y'all but I find the tea ceremony something almost essential in any Chinese wedding - and I would find it incredibly eccentric if the ceremony is bypassed for some obscure reason ( believe me, I have a few friends who have dispensed with it and then I had to talk them back into it ). Not only is it a good way to renew ties with the rest of the family - and give the unknown spouse a chance to greet some of her new odd relatives, in a Chinese family, it's also a chance to make a quick buck. Seriously! We're talking about gold and pearls - and stacks of cash here. And I'm not even going to mention the huge bling-bling that my cousin received from his in-laws. With his impressive size and the dirty stubble on his chin, he looked like a Chinese pimp rapper :)

The worrying part was my position in the tea ceremony. Tea is served by the bride and groom to their elders and those who are already married ( therefore stepping into a different stage in their lives ). The bride and groom are then served by their younger siblings and cousins - and those unmarried - in return for their red packets. So where do I stand? The gay, unmarried and older ( approaching 29!! ) guy?

I took the easy way out, shook their hands and got 50 bucks in return :)

My cousin took his wedding in a very lackadaisical way - just like nothing much was happening at all. Which amazed me! As usual, my relatives kept on nagging me about my singleton state ( so what else is new! :) ) and it was all I could do not to tell them that I'd be first in line to be married if I could! Even while we were celebrating, I could easily imagine myself in a love dove-gray suit with a rose pink tie ( neatly close-shaven with a collar that buttons! ). I've got all this great plans but no groom in sight yet. Maybe I should just give up and hire one :)

Especially since everyone expects me to be married soon. For some obscure reason, everyone thinks that I'm keeping some red-hot love affair secret. My aunts and cousins all think that I have something hidden in the closet ( well, they are partially right anyway ). Something about the cat got the cream kinda look on my face. Hell, I haven't gotten any cream in a helluva long time :)

Still in between naggings, I could console myself with the messages I kept on receiving... Sometime during the obligatory photo sessions, I received an SMS from Yummy Yee. All it said was.. 'Uncle! :)'

I guess some guys need to be taught a good hard lesson again.