Sunday, September 14, 2008

Damsel Dimwit

You know the Marilyn or Einstein equation? Remember before when I said that given a choice between being born gorgeous / dumb or hideous / brilliant, I said I'd choose gorgeous / dumb? Being brilliant you'd know the hideousness of the situation so it'd be easier to be dumb enough to enjoy the pretty world out there.

Well make that gorgeous - and not too dumb. Since I finally ran into a Damsel Dimwit. Not that she'd actually know to get out of the way of a runaway truck.

I know! I am so mean. But honestly, my ISO and I couldn't help it.

The story goes like this. Seeing as it's Mid-Autumn Festival, we had a lil gathering of friends so that I could met up with my ex-classmates. Our recently dumped and heartbroken fella, Beercan Boy seems to have found a new mate and decided to bring her along for a quick meet-and-greet. Surprised that he hadn't thought the entire thing through since we aren't exactly known for our tact when it comes to his girlfriends. But perhaps ( a rather touching dependence on the legend of the Kitchen God ) he was hoping that some lotus paste mooncake would sweeten our criticism.

He was woefully wrong.

Critics
The Backbenchers Club

Her looks were immediately arresting of course and I'm sure Beercan Boy could compare her peerless beauty to the stunning glow of the full moon. Even I couldn't argue with that. Close to perfection, our Damsel Dimwit and certainly out of his league. Even briefly wondered whether Beercan had paid for her out of a mail-order-bride catalog :)

But that was before she spoke. Fortunately it took a full five minutes before the force of her personality hit us - and compared to her dazzling mega-watt smile, that turned out extremely dim indeed. I'm far from a genius myself - quite a himbo in my own way - but Damsel Dimwit certainly lowered the bar last night.

My ISO : If she asks me what I mean again, I might just kill her. Did she just say that Korea's an island?
Paul : I'm not sure. I'm still reeling over the fact that she believes collecting fireflies into a jar could be an effective solution to our energy problems.
My ISO : Maybe we shouldn't talk this fast.
Paul : You're right. We might be short-circuiting her brain.
My ISO : I give it six months.
Paul : God, you're mean.
My ISO : Monstrous.
Paul : Five bucks says three months.

I know. We are so mean. Swear I will do a good deed tomorrow to make up for it.

So when Beercan Boy nodded to us in his inexplicable way trying to ask us what we thought, both of us nodded in tandem agreeing that she's real pretty. That seemed to be the nicest thing we could say. After all... in the space of a year, Beercan Boy has progressed from an adulteress to a snake... and now to our Damsel Dimwit. Hell, she's the best of the lot!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed the story...am going to bed now...

P/S: you guys are mean!!! LOL!

Cyclohelix said...

after reading the past scenario, it's the end for lady hilton

William said...

As I usually say, ignorance is bliss!