Shocking Thoughts

Just the other day while I was watching a trio of gung-ho medical students run about the ward searching for lumps and bumps, I chanced upon a sudden ventricular fibrillation on the general monitor. Having students about seemed reason enough to enact a tense, dramatic situation guaranteed to trump the medical dramas on telly. Fortunately the nurses were quite eager to lend a hand. So there I was calling for the crash cart while starting resuscitation on the unfortunate patient.

Thankfully for my aching ( aging! ) back, there were eager younger volunteers around to help out with the resuscitation.

After the event - yes, the patient survived due to my recently googled SCREAM techniques - I had one of the students telling me that I looked uncharacteristically serious while performing cardioversion on the patient.

That would be the exciting electrocuting the patient bit you see on the telly.


Lexie : Whoa, that was impressive.
Paul : Hur hur.
Of course that innocent statement had me smiling. Seriously? God, if she only knew half the thoughts going through my head! Now that would be even more shocking than 360 Joules of electricity!

Hmm... wonder if the fibrillation's precipitated by a heart attack or by some electrolyte abnormality. Potassium?

That's the first. Now that's the usual scenario most doctors would have running through their heads while preparing the paddles ( dripping with gel! ) for cardioversion. After all there's an urgent need to hack at the root of the problem. But then I also have some of the more unorthodox thoughts as well - hence the need to keep a straight face.

Hell, could they prepare the amiodarone any slower?
I wonder what I'll have for lunch today. Noodles? Rice?
Fuck, was that some blood spurting! Damn, there goes my silk shirt!
God, where are the cute medical students? No junior McDreamys? Are they keeping them in storage somewhere? Then again, it's a weekend - I bet the cute ones are partying.

And the worst.

Damn, wish I had a sworn enemy I could place under the paddles. Would be kewl to see him twist and shout.

Monstrous, I know.