When my mom had a chance meeting with the Lushes last night, I wondered what she could have thought. A swinging fancy-free bachelor flirting with a sisterhood of hot singletons in heels! Now isn't that just a wee bit suspicious?
When Harry met Sally aside, it's rare to find breeder boys getting chummy with the girls. Logically, wouldn't any straight red-blooded fella be hitting on at least one of these lissome beauties? At least trying to steal some sweet time with either Statuesque Sarah ( only to be rebuffed with chilly disdain ) or Fabulous Fiona ( only to be tuned off with girlish laughter ).
Or even Shameless Shalom ( only to have her upchuck her breakfast at the revolting idea ).
Honestly I'd be highly suspicious of any guy who didn't try to make a move.
Paul : Quick, hide me! My mom's gonna ask why we're not dating again.
Fiona : Why don't you just tell her?
Paul : That you're a skank with syphilis?
Fiona : No! The truth.
Paul : Wait. You aren't a skank with syphilis? :)
I would have thought the reasons obvious enough. Even the waiters who see us all huddled together for our weekly brunches would have made the rightful conclusion that I'm the sole raging fag in the group - since it's painfully obvious that my only interest in them is purely platonic.
Apart from the fact that I adore their killer shoes.
Thought that seeing me with my Lushes would have pegged me as unapologetically gay but my mom went down an entirely different lane of thought instead. Yes, my renowned matchmaker mom did start wondering why I'm not heavily pursuing any of them! However she started blaming me ( comically enough! ) for taking my own sweet time in setting up a target for my seduction. Telling me that I'd be the one to blame if I let one of the sultry Lushes escape my voracious grasp.
I didn't know whether to laugh or slam my head repeatedly against the nearest tree trunk.
Come on, my mother knows me well enough. When have I ever been painfully shy about going after the object of my affection? If I'm interested in a hunk, you can be sure the jungle drums would be announcing the information across the savannah. And I'd be literally hunting them down like the lion tracking down that juicy gazelle.
Evidently my mom doesn't think too highly of my methods.
Mom : All very nice girls. So why aren't you showing any interest in one of the girls?
Paul : Not interested.
Mom : You have to make a move! It's a modern world but the guy still has to make at least a push.
Paul : Tell me something I don't know.
Mom : So why aren't you making a move?
Paul : Because I'm not interested?
Mom : Isn't there any girl you're interested in?
Paul : No, I'm not interested in girls.
Mom : Work isn't everything.
Paul : You think I'm interested in work?!
One would have expected her to pursue this little dust-trail of thought instead but obviously denial isn't only a mighty river in Egypt.
11 comments:
doesn't ur mom suspect something amiss?
my mom oso very scary.haih.
don't know what'll happen when i reach ur age. like 10 years fr now
dr, here are my thoughts:
(1) every mum is that worried about their sons not getting married late 20s or early 30s.
(2) everyone (family and relatives)asks me why i don't have a gf yet.
(3) not getting married and not having a gf at this age, does that make me gay or otherwise?
having said that, is being single and not having a gf a bad thing? Is being gay really bad? i love guys and this is who i am. no more questions asked. I am who I am.
I dont know what to do as well...anyone with suggestions?
Oh boy, I guess mum wants a daughter in law as soon as possible.
Just say "mum i am gay" then its out in the open , she will accpet you, my mum did when i came out gay
give her time,.. i'm sure the seed of suspicion has taken root somewhere. now just to wait until the right moment before you maybe have to break it to her... Get your awesome grandma to back you up! I'm sure she'll gladly do it.
You had me laughing pretty darn hard at the part when u said "You think I'm interested in work?!" Lol!
Can't blame your mom for trying really hard to get a daughter-in-law u know ;)
Your post was extremely funny. That picture included matches the short conversation perfectly!
I love it! :D
Maybe she has a cache of delectable single guys to matchmake too!
Well I bet you'd be dealing with the same questions, silencer :)
True enough, david.
No idea as well, helix. I guess my mom and I do need to have a sit down soon.
Which mum doesn't, leo?
Hope it's that simple, sb. Contemplating now.
My awesome grandma might probably harrumph and tell me to keep away from unsafe sex, reality. Sex advice from grannies, now that's scary!
Please! Who is that interested in work, perky!
Blair and Chuck :) Guess you know who they are, looi?
Hope she does, william!
P
Borrow some gals to help you by pretending to be your GF for a day. Change them every 6 months. Your mum will give up. I am sharing from a true story.
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