The Meme that Shocked the World

Well it shocked me anyhow.

Really. Should have known that a nutty solicitor ( I can't think of an alliterative for him dammit! ) would dig out the most salacious details of my life - but so it is! And since I might need his help bailing me out one day, I am obviously submitting to force majeure ( he is a bit taller than me as well ) and putting up his meme.

And I love memes anyway :)

(1) The first time you realised that you fancied men was...

Possibly the beginning of secondary school. The boys started mooning over the girls and I realized I'd been staring at them ( the boys! ) instead. Talk about being on the wrong side of the fence.

(2) The last time you were reminded of the fact that you fancied men was...

This afternoon when a hot hunk of Sino-Japanese extraction walked into the bookstore with heavy-lidded slit eyes, rakish stubble and a body that just wouldn't quit. Then he bent over to retrieve some books on the lower shelf and revealed white calvins with a blue stripe.

And I wanted to bite his ass. So yeah, I'm still gay.

Then his equally hot brother came by. And I thought - hmm, California Roll me please!

(3) The first man you ever fancied was...

Now this is a bit hard for me ( figuratively as well ) since my memories of high school seem to be a blur of boys, britches and balls. It was a fucking buffet and I was the naive ingenue innocently fasting when I could have been feasting. Naming a specific crush could be nigh impossible but I might as well pick a name out of the proverbial hat.


Simply Sam Says Smile!
How about Simply Sam. Met him on the first day of primary. Nicked his chin when I slammed him into a door - I toldja I was violent. Turned buds for life after. He grew up to have teensy korean eyes, black curls and a sinewy bod. Helluva sense of humour too with a penchant for mouthing naughty hip hop songs into my ear since I hated them.

Had my first-hard-on possibly thinking of playing with his hockey stick. And he had his as well when he first read one of my naughty novels. Even caught me staring at his prepubertal erection - I might have even given a cheap stroke - but hey, I was a kid back then and barely knew what to do with my own.

Heard he was working in a gambling den someplace. Wonder whether he's up to rehashing the old times :)

(4) The last man you fancied was...

A lazy-drawlin slowpoke called Charming Calvin - and you guys know how that ended. :)

(5) The first time you did the horizontal mambo, you remember it because...

It was far more memorable for being embarassingly funny than being in the least bit sexy. Stumbling over beds, tripping over shoes and bumping noses. Whoever said first times were steamy glowing soft porn? And oh yeah, it was the fastest I've gone from suit to nude. Same goes for my InSignificant Other. I bet it could go down in the Olympics. Milli-seconds I tell ya. Finished almost as fast actually :)

(6) The last time you did the horizontal mambo, you remember it because....

It was dark. It was chilly. He was hot. He was muffled.
And my parents were just next door.

(7) The first time you went without sex for more than a week lasted exactly and approximately...

Almost three months and that was during my grueling days in Obstetrics and Gynaecology. Sure the smell of liquor and the look of vaginas put me off sex for a while but I soon get revved up again at the end of that posting.

(8) The last time you went cold turkey like that was...

NOW! BLOODY HELL! NOW! I could fuck a moving door. The two brothers from this afternoon could unagi me right now.