And for that I have Lispy Lori to blame. Finishing my work early, I buzzed her for lunch only to catch her forced into a tete-a-tete with the Flighty Mama of my cousin Richie Runt. Obviously eager to be rid of her endless ( mindless! ) chatter, Lori deliberately foisted her onto me for lunch.
Flighty Mama : Let's continue this conversation over lunch.
Lori : So sorry! Wish I could but I have a bunch of work to catch up with. Oh wait. Paul's free though.
WTF!
over the phone
Paul : You backstabbing bitch.
Lori : You'd do the same, darling. Take her off my hands please.
Paul : You owe me.
Flighty Mama : So what did he say?
Lori : Oh, he said he would love to meet you for lunch.
So that was how I ended up in a small cafe with Flighty Mama and Richie Runt. Far from winning the Mother of the Year, she tried to bring up the idea of fostering her child again but I managed to sidestep that particular bullet by stuffing her with munchies.
Had to sit tight on my hands so I wouldn't reach over to silence her senseless rattle by strangulation. Somehow or other, I doubt homicide would be acceptable in the family eventhough it was clear I had just cause.
Quite obvious from his glowers and grunts that our family black sheep Richie Runt would have preferred to be anywhere but there as well. Precisely the reason why I picked the place - a chi-chi cafe dining on tea and cupcakes. If I had to suffer through his mama's fatuous speech, so did he.
Flighty Mama : See your cousin here. So clever. So accomplished.
Richie : Grunt.
Paul : Hardly.
Flighty Mama : And how about Lispy Lori? She studied abroad, you know. Got scholarship too.
Richie : Grunt.
Paul : Oh Mother of God.
What kinda twisted child psychology is this? Did she get the wrong copy of Dr Spock's manual? Did she really expect endless comparison to his older cousins would actually spur him on to achieve his hitherto hidden ambitions to win the Nobel prize? No wonder our juvenile delinquent goes out of his way to play truant!
Way to make us all seem like overachieving bastards. No wonder he hates our guts. Me, I'd be drinking out of a bottle already.
But first I gotta tell Lori.
6 comments:
Flighty Mama : See your cousin here. So clever. So accomplished.
That line reminds me of someone whom I know... It is sad to be compared with others all the time who are better than us.
What do you think about it, Paul?
I hate comparisons. Only makes me wanna run counter to it.
P
I guess thats life where comparison takes place to boost our ego hence boosting our effort to strive even further. Shocker. A theory of Kiasuness* Haha.
you need to start be a soap opera writer.
When my ma starts to compare with me and my guys, I let my mind travels to mars! I hate comparisons too..so annoying ~
But then, in some situations, it can be good to compare like comparing who is the hottest doctor in the hospital? Hahaha.
I know. And I think asian parents contribute to it, leo.
Yes, ikanbilis! Someone hire me!
Hottest doctor? The candidates are too few, hamsap!
Paul
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