Chinese Curses

They say that couples start to rub off on each other after a while.

Believe that would hold true for what I dub Siamese twin couples - to be separated only at risk of death or dismemberment - but does it really happen to everyone else? Always disregarded that particular relationship adage since Charming Calvin and I are miles apart in temperament and humour. Seemed almost impossible that a sober respectable fellow like him would pick up some of my more unsavoury traits.

Nor would I suddenly turn into a Lord of Perpetual Yawn like him.


The Dark Side of Calvin
Till the other day when he blithely mentioned cropping pictures of a fellow colleague. Certainly piqued my ready curiosity especially when it turned out to be shots of Creepy Cruella from his office. Stranded in Beijing, our poor hero Calvin has had to contend with a number of particularly repulsive characters ranging from minor pest-like nuisances such as indecisive clients to the aforementioned Creepy Cruella in management.

Hence the name.

A typical middle management monster, Cruella spends his hours in the office cubicle devising torturous Machiavellian schemes for his unsuspecting colleagues, sending self-laudatory messages to his superiors and then offloading sloppy jobs to his hapless minions. Not forgetting the occasional infamous office cc bullets to incriminate his fellows.

I'd have crushed such a repellent snake beneath my muddy boot-heel long since.

Ever the pacifist, Charming Calvin however tries to stay clear of such annoyances; then braces himself as much as he can when the bullets hit. Till today - no doubt a cataclysmic event occurred to break the proverbial camel's back - when he finally decided to take some action the old-school way ( think BC ) by invoking the family gods!

Our inventive Calvin started writing curses on scrolls of lead.

Finally the man reveals his dark side! Endless rage has Calvin baring his hitherto-sheathed claws swearing vengeance using the dark lessons learnt from his coven of Charmed Calvinettes. Not sure if this change of heart is to be blamed on his mother's malevolent influence or that the fault clearly lies at my door.

Have to admit I find this turn of events disturbing in the extreme. To put it plainly, Calvin invoking curses would be akin to me skipping rope with the singing Carebears! Had me wondering whether to be immeasurably proud of his progress ... or endlessly worried! :)

But what the hell, maybe I should bring him live poultry to sacrifice this fall. Curses look so much better written in fowl blood. Perhaps that would be enough to bring the downfall of Cruella.