Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Mama-sans and Lipstick Lesbians

We've all heard about the streotypically limp-wristed femme gay hairdresser who squeals over the littlest things while busy flapping his palms hysterically. Although we all know that constitutes only a small segment of the varied gay brethren, that particular stereotype seems to reverberate strongly amongst the masses. Simply because it is a stereotype. Small number though it maybe but throw a stone and you're still more likely to hit a flaming homo hairstylist rather than a butch gay marine ( no matter how much we might want that to happen! ).

All four of them gay? Like that's gonna happen out of gay porn!

Gay secretaries and vapid models. Diva actresses and desperate housewives. Sure we'd all love to create that amazingly quirky character who defies definition but stereotypes actually exist for a reason. Which is what I told Strapping Shane ( who knows! Our future Yasmin Ahmad? ) when he enthusiastically showed us rough copies of his really excellent scripts.

Apart from a minor glitch or two.

Paul : It's all good except...
Shane : And there'll be two other characters, one a married lady who later hires a prostitute to indulge her lesbian desires.
Paul : Lesbian prostitute?
Shane : And also a native China girl who comes over here to work as a prostitute.
Paul : Two prostitutes? And you listed the China doll as 43. A 43 year old whore?

Tried my best to keep my tongue between my teeth but he did ask for honest critiques so excuse me while Saint Wicked makes an appearance.

Although I'm sure there are lipstick lesbian ladies who cater to the muff-diving crowd, I don't think it would be all that easy for a closeted dyke to find the numbers. Easy enough for a horny gay man to find a willing cocksucker - just look behind the door of any disrespectable public toilet and you'll have not only numbers but positions, race, height and even blood type. Seriously doubt female masseuse with benefits is even listed in the Yellow Pages. Possible but unlikely. Even then I don't think she'd get all that many hits from loose lesbians.

Like the saying goes, men come from Mars while women come from Venus and never the twain shall meet. Where else would we get the stereotype of lesbians getting a minivan and a shared account after the first date while gay men still search for commitment in their vocabularies after four years of cohabitation. :P

And come on, an elderly mama-san? Sorry to be overwhelmingly ageist but exactly who's gonna pay top dollar for that? What in the world could have possessed this sadly pathetic China doll - who probably has been living a saintly unbesmirched life in those hills farming and tending to the needs of a growing family for two decades - only to suddenly throw it all away for a lucrative life of drifting from dingy nightclubs to seedy brothels?

I know. I can be such a mean critic. Fortunately Charming Calvin was there to mediate. Maybe Miranda Priestley has a position for me.


strapping.shane said...

Aiyo... some people just like matured people. Period. =P

And secondly, I didn't notice I put her as 43 years old lar! Cut me some slack!

Stephen said...

And you listed the China doll as 43. A 43 year old whore?

Wayne Rooney would.

Running Dan said...

Prostitute doesn't have to lesbian herself - she just caters for any customer. And could say she came to Malaysia to find work, wasn't successful, thus having to enter the flesh market at a younger age. The pick pocketing is to supplement her income now that she's getting older and unpopular with the men.

Will said...

I hope when I'm 43 I can still be a whore.

William said...

Mama-sans are supposed to be 43 la! Only the old and experienced whores settle into that "supervisory" role. Hehe.

Anonymous said...

I just checked the women seeking women in my local Craiglist (I don't know if there is one outside the US, but it's a website that helps you avoid the problems you may have with E-Bay by listing services in your immediate vicinity so you can go and check out products yourself and not rely on photos which may or may not be accurate). The women w4w is a very active section with many listing their availability as RIGHT NOW. No one blatantly requesting money, but the wording of the text can easily be interpreted as such. It's not quite as large (or as urgent) as the m4m section, but an older lipstick lesbian would have no problem finding someone RIGHT NOW.


bluberry said...

Dear Dr. Can I have your e-mail address please. I would liked to send you a letter. Thank you.


savante said...

But it's funny, shane!

And like Stephen said, Wayne Rooney would.

True enough, running dan but really go look at what michelle said. Amazing, isn't it?

Will, I hope I can be too :P

william, you've got a point but I think shane meant that she was a prostitute too. I added the mamma san bit.

It's located somewhere in the blog, bluberry :)


closetalk said...

lol. miranda priestly wud probly hafta make way for u, dahling :)

ikanbilis said...

men in uniforms are yummy. go marine!