Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Bachelor of the Year

You know what. I have found my future husband.

Not only has Singapore's Cleo proven to be far savvier at hunting sizzling bod-delicious, wet-dream inducing men ( compared to the sad, sad haul in our country last year ), they have also managed to fish out my future husband from the swimming mass of trout - well if I'm a really really good boy :P

And it's not Dominic Lau.

Or even Colby.

Lewis
Lewis Sim

It's Lewis-damn-I-wanna-marry-him-Sim of the treasure-trail-I-wanna-dive-in fame. Charming Calvin isn't too impressed with my choice but then again, I do have some peculiar tastes :P Go check out the rest of the droolsome list and pick out your favourites amongst the catch Down Under this year.

Certainly wouldn't mind canvassing the town for our own Cleo's Bachelors this time around - since they made such a poor soporific show last year. The pink pilot has a reasonable account of our attempts to dissect their choices. Sure, the boys were probably nice, intelligent and reasonably attractive enough in person - but come on, we are looking for the best, the brightest and let's face it, most importantly the most bootylicious. And shallow though it may be ( and totally unpolitically correct ) but by God, the beefcake bachelors had better look good on camera with their shirt off, preferably lying on satin sheets.

Perhaps rather than depend on the biased recommendations of obviously sight-challenged aunties and bribed / besotted galpals, what they need is an injection of gay fabulousness from a serious ( and perfectly unbiased - short of offering disgusting sexual favours which I can't refuse! ) purveyor of manmeat into the prejudging.

Paul : Hello, sir.
Serious Hunk : Yes? Are you trying to sell me insurance?
Paul : No!
Serious Hunk : Then do I know you?
Paul : You don't. But you're hot and I'd like to see you half-naked in public. Maybe even have you play outrageous games where we lick whipped cream off your naked torso.
Serious Hunk : Bloody asshole pervert. You want my fist in your face or what?
Paul : No but I'm canvassing for Cleo.
Serious Hunk : Oh. You want my shirt off now? How about my pants? I can do push-ups!

Yeah, I certainly wouldn't mind. :P

P.S. Of course, wanting Lewis Sim for my future husband doesn't mean I wouldn't do Dominic in a NY minute.
P.S.S. Same goes for Colby. Call me.

16 comments:

connerkent said...

There's just something about treasure-trails that adds that yum-factor to a guy...

Hot asians with treasure-trail? Double-yum. ;)

charming.calvin said...

*pack stuffs and walk out of the door*

Anybody wants me? Preferably hot, hunky, young and rich. And love me more than other hot guys.

Anonymous said...

what a yummie. but the sexyest are japanese hunks. anyone who knows ere I can find bulgy, samurai-ish men on the net?

jase said...

uh oh.. you sure you wanna do something like that!? hahhaa

the nurse said...

an acquaintance of mine does dragon boat with open-chested-swimmer-bod-blue-calvin-kleins Cleo Bachelor. and believe me, there's some hot gossip out there.

Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy said...

double ya...agree with paul and connerkent. Though I thought Daniel Zhang is a cutie. Actually so did Allan! ;-)

You should read Gordon Tan's profile. He misspoke about gays and got an earful hehehe

hrugaar said...

Can see why calvin's not too impressed - though from the neck down Sim isn't too bad la. :oD

c.calvin, I'd want you. :o) But alas, I could probably only match one of your five criteria. :o\

xoussef said...

wow! good choice!

Mark said...

A treasure trail is just so enticing! Da-yum!

thompsonboy said...

Really doc, I cant understand your infatuation with 'Dominque'...he's so ughhh

Ban said...

Some of those guys a great. But the majority of them, erm. Hrm.

ZEYN OF ENVY said...

not my taste. pass!

ikanbilis said...

when are you going to be IN the list?

strapping.shane said...

*smack*

COLBY'S MINE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

TJay said...

SIGN ME UP PAUL! SIGN ME UP! Holy Bloody Hell!!! He's gorgeous!!

Sigh, now why can't I find a gay Asian like him in the Seattle area that is into 40 yr olds who don't look their age (and yep, I can prove that I don't either, GRIN)...

Abg IM! said...

sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!