Just this morning, I was supposed to help a friend by conducting special rounds for some eager-beaver medical interns around the specialized wards. As usual, I go equipped with an MP3 player ( to amuse myself during those extremely dull lengthy treks down empty corridors ), my trusty 'borrowed' stethoscope and of course my leather whip.
I'm kidding about the whip.
Still there were times when I felt this near irresistible urge to crack the damned whip on the slow-mo laggards. Just when I started off on the first leg of my rounds, I took a quick pause at the bank of elevators to find the whole gang huffing and puffing several metres behind me, tripping over themselves to catch up. It was lke watching several aging, creaking centenarian tortoises inching their way down the endless corridor. More than one easily bit the dust.
Paul : Let's go. I'm sure you guys will want to return to your regular scheduled duties after rounds.
Intern A : Huff huff huff....
Intern B : I feel faint. I can't feel my fingers. I need oxygen. Help me.
Intern C : I think I left my feet back in the last ward.
Intern B actually reminded me of Charming Calvin, oddly enough.
The ten-intern pile-up
Honestly. I am not related to Sonic the Hedgehog as some of the other residents have inferred ( don't think I haven't heard! ) nor do I have extremely powerful million dollar bionic / mutant legs that make me fly faster than a speeding bullet. What I do have is a maniacal need for speed ( imagine how cool if I could earn points by knocking folks down like tenpins ) and a serious dislike for those who take their time to dilly-dally. Sometimes when I navigate through packed crowds, I feel like getting a mini-zamboni to shove the unsuspecting lingerers into a nearby storm drain while cackling malevolently. Unfortunately patience has never been one of my virtues ( not that I have all that many ).
But I seriously doubt I actually walk all that fast and furious. Seems a normal regular speed - somewhat similar to the crowds of harassed city workers streaming into the trains everyday. My steadfast nurses don't seem to complain. Of course then again last week one of them had to be resuscitated at the nearby water fountain after rounds.
Maybe I should give the rest a headstart next time.