Sunday, March 04, 2007

Speed Demon

Seriously. I need to know this. Do I walk all that fast?

Just this morning, I was supposed to help a friend by conducting special rounds for some eager-beaver medical interns around the specialized wards. As usual, I go equipped with an MP3 player ( to amuse myself during those extremely dull lengthy treks down empty corridors ), my trusty 'borrowed' stethoscope and of course my leather whip.

I'm kidding about the whip.

Mostly.

Still there were times when I felt this near irresistible urge to crack the damned whip on the slow-mo laggards. Just when I started off on the first leg of my rounds, I took a quick pause at the bank of elevators to find the whole gang huffing and puffing several metres behind me, tripping over themselves to catch up. It was lke watching several aging, creaking centenarian tortoises inching their way down the endless corridor. More than one easily bit the dust.

Paul : Let's go. I'm sure you guys will want to return to your regular scheduled duties after rounds.
Intern A : Huff huff huff....
Intern B : I feel faint. I can't feel my fingers. I need oxygen. Help me.
Intern C : I think I left my feet back in the last ward.

Intern B actually reminded me of Charming Calvin, oddly enough.

Pileup
The ten-intern pile-up

Honestly. I am not related to Sonic the Hedgehog as some of the other residents have inferred ( don't think I haven't heard! ) nor do I have extremely powerful million dollar bionic / mutant legs that make me fly faster than a speeding bullet. What I do have is a maniacal need for speed ( imagine how cool if I could earn points by knocking folks down like tenpins ) and a serious dislike for those who take their time to dilly-dally. Sometimes when I navigate through packed crowds, I feel like getting a mini-zamboni to shove the unsuspecting lingerers into a nearby storm drain while cackling malevolently. Unfortunately patience has never been one of my virtues ( not that I have all that many ).

But I seriously doubt I actually walk all that fast and furious. Seems a normal regular speed - somewhat similar to the crowds of harassed city workers streaming into the trains everyday. My steadfast nurses don't seem to complain. Of course then again last week one of them had to be resuscitated at the nearby water fountain after rounds.

Hmmm...

Maybe I should give the rest a headstart next time.

17 comments:

May said...

I know!

It annoys me to no end when we are going off to lunch or coming back from lunch and everybody's walking so slooooooooowly!

Why? Why? Why? You want to walk out in the hot sun? 'cause I sure don't. Grrr...

Sorry for ranting.

strapping.shane said...

You, kor... are a freaking SPEED DEMON. All I have to do is turn my head away for one minute and I can lose you in an empty mall.

Sue said...

Yeah, but at work isn't it their job to keep up with you? I am a fast walker too, and heck keep up with me or you are SOL (let me know if I need to translate the acronym).

Musang said...

kor kor, are u an aries?

hrugaar said...

I walk fast through town if I am by myself, only one of all my friends can really keep up with me.

One of my pet hates is people who step in front of you and then just stop and stand still. Aaargh.

Petie said...

You do walk faster than average :P

snowdrop said...

hmm, if we ever do meet up, let's just SIT ok.. i'm a slow walker!!

Annie said...

MMM... might I suggest you remove the roller skates from your feet Paul? Might give some interns a chance.

If just shoes, then maybe shorter strides? I have short legs and it takes me twice as many steps to keep up. You must have some munchkins for interns. Yes?

You're funny Paul

Ban said...

kesian those interns...

Roxie said...

Haha. You would execute me and Simon. We walk SOOOOOOOOOO slowly. The others usually walk ahead, stop and wait ten minutes for us to appear in their line of vision again, and then walk some more. I swear, we reach our destination a half hour later than anyone else.

Muse Studio said...

hahahaha

i walk reeeeally fast too. and, i cant stand ppl who walk slow, talk slow, work slow (govt servant, mcD, tmnet) and giggly people.

And, no, im not an Aries. Thank God

:p

ethn

alliterative.allvin said...

Apart from walking fast, you're also pretty fast in posting new blog entries!

So fast that you haven't had time to respond to comments in all previous posts, like you used to do?

Anonymous said...

maner update? dah lewat satu ari tau!

=p

EGT

savante said...

Same here, may! What are they waiting for?!

Shane, you have longer legs dammit!

Wish it was their job to catch up - well they do try, sue :)

Nope, I'm a Scorpio, musang. Why?

Same here. Hate people who come to a standstill, ru. Unless you're Chris Evans of course.

Gasp. petie, I do?!

I'll push ya along, snowie!

Hardly roller skates, though i was tempted to let the rest of them get skates. Munchkins for interns? No, anniieiieieie... some of them were pretty tall dammit.

Why kesian? I tak marah pun, ban. I was a saint!

I would execute you Roxie :) but probably spank Simon a little.

I know. Bosankan nak tunggu orang lambat, muse.

I did respond. Go take a look, allvin.

EGT! You bad bad boy :)

Paul

alliterative.allvin said...

Yeah... but no response to You Look Fabulous?

Are there any cute interns? :)

hrugaar said...

Yeah, Chris Evans you just collide head on with (by accident, natch) and then insist on carrying him home to bed so you can nurse him better, heh.

R*Y A N said...

i'm with you, paul.

i don't think i walk all that fast but it seems everyone else is much, much slower than me.

it's so utterly frustrating.

and don't get me started on the suburbanites strolling lazily down the usually busy city streets. grrr!