Since Big Bicep Barry was in town for the evening - and my schedule turned out to be yawningly empty, I saw no reason not to step out for dinner and a movie. Been a while since I've caught up with him so we had plenty to tell each other from his recent jaunt to Hong Kong to my own exploits in Bangkok.
Barry : Seriously. A club full of gyrating half-naked men.
Paul : Just flood the place with chocolate syrup and you'd have my version of heaven.
Barry : And you groped them too!
Paul : When they squeezed by, sure! Trust me, half of them were thrusting begging for more.
Barry : Daring bugger!
Paul : Why, Barry, you want a personal demonstration?
Obviously talk of dancing boys and entrepreneurial beach shacks kept us entertained till the movie started. Revealing that secret mushy side hidden beneath that muscleman exterior, Barry chose an obvious chick-flick. In a nutshell, the Nanny Diaries was a pretty sweet feel-good vehicle where a recent college grad stumbles into nannyhood by accident finding herself changing as she discovers the social niche of the Upper East Side complete with spoiled brats, snooty mummies and sleazy dads.
Although it came with one major flaw.
You see, the nanny had a delicious beau dubbed the Harvard Hottie - providentially just a flight up her Upper East Side apartment - practically begging for pathetic scraps of her precious time. Like just how unbelievable is that?!
The man's intelligent, rich and gorgeous with a summerhouse in the Hamptons and a law degree in the future. And may I remind you, he's the walking orgasm known as Chris Evans.
Go out with me, please?
Despite pulling out all stops to get her - including the usual stalking, repeated phone calls and the old cliched long-stemmed roses - even then the nanny kept saying no. Obviously she slams the door when providence comes knocking! Okay, I know dating's not allowed in their Upper East Side version of nannydom ( banned by the pill-popping alcoholic momzillas ) and it could get her fired. But come on, it's Chris Evans.
So step aside, foolish lil Nanny!
Chris : Hey, maybe we could go out some time.
Paul : FUCKIN YES!
Chris : That would be great. Guess I don't even have to beg, huh?
Paul : NEVER!
Chris : Uh. Could you get your legs off my waist so I could get my keys?
Paul : Oops.
Chris : And your hand out of my pants?
Seriously. The man needs to even ask? I'd be all over him in a shameless New York second.
Then again, make that two flaws in the movie. Chris remained clothed throughout. What a waste. Now if ever there was a man made to be gloriously naked and slathered in baby oil...
Is it any wonder that at the end of the movie, Big Bicep Barry reached over to wipe my chin and tell me with a playful wink, 'Hey, you're drooling'.