Thursday, April 28, 2005

Lil meanie

For some time, I've always figured that I'm a peaceable guy, the kinda cool guy who lets everything slide if possible and doesn't get mad at most things. And that's the way I usually am. In my family, I'm usually the one who backs down from arguments since I actually detest raised voices - it's actually my elder brother who's the fractious one.

Then I went out into the world, started work and built a life of my own - and I started finding my own voice. Perhaps I gave in to my family one time too many in the past since nowadays I hardly ever give an inch. Stubborn and tenacious as hell, that's me. Certain things get my temper up - and once I hit the boiling point ( which is extremely rare, fortunately ), I can actually understand why my bigger, larger ISO actually starts running for cover. I get really mean. No, I don't yell, I don't break things, I don't throw punches or vases ( well, not anymore ), but I can say the nastiest things in the coolest, calmest of voices. I don't take jibes or jabs without getting my own back.

Cutting responses


Just like yesterday when I blew off some steam on one of my supervisors. He was venting off about my junior colleagues - talking in quite an unjust manner about their work ethics and I just roared in their defense. Such a rare explosion in the operating theatre certainly left them something to talk about - and I'm sure I'll feel the repercussions for some days afterward.

Ouch. And it leaves me drowning in remorse after the fact since some of the things I say can be awfully cutting. So, Jason although you shouldn't be a doormat no more, you shouldn't be in such a hurry to go the other way either :)

5 comments:

grave_creek said...

hihi!! well well i hope never to cross your way when youre in a bad mood paul!! most people think that im just like an old giant teddy bear,so soft and mushy...well all i can say is that looks can be deceiving !!!i will only react if under attack and if given a good reason so be careful!! lol!!

Sven said...

Ooo tempting, I love teasing a simering pot, and I can't be pinned down - I drive my friends and family crazy that way, good thing they only get about half of my snide remarks.. ;)

Angie said...

Ouch. The icy, calm temper. That's scary stuff Paul. Drew is like that, it annoys the hell out of me. I have a quick and rather vicious temper, it doesn't take much to get it going. And I'm a yeller who likes to throw innocent, inanimate objects.

Your way is much more effective.

~ Aimee

savante said...

But it's drowning with remorse that I can't stand! After slicing him up into lil ribbons, I found that I could barely face him the next day.

Paul

'drew said...

I'm a slow rising one too, but I've only really blown my top a handful of times in my life, but it scares everyone around me when I do it. I'm trying to learn how to seep the anger through and let it out instead of it bundling up inside of me and then bursting.
I also have this problem where I hate it when people hate me and then I'll try to do whatever it is to cheer the person up again even after I've done some drastic damage...I become a walking, talking guilt trip.