The Original Misogynist

One of the original theories of homosexuality in men was a hatred of women. Or misogyny as it is. Seems like a secret repressed hatred of women is somehow twisted into an expression of love for men. An unusual theory but hey, it was prevalent way back when.

Gotta say I was mistaken when it came to Lanky Lex and his Homo-Panic. After dousing him with several doses of serum veritas - or long island tea in our case, Lex finally let spill the true reason for his near irrational fear of fathering a child.

Far from having a fear of the responsibilities of growing up, turns out that the original gay fella actually has an irrational fear of women.

Unfortunately proving the earlier theory ( thought to be debunked ages ago! ).


Maybe if I close my eyes hard enough, I can pretend women - and their ginormous handbags - don't exist!
Just whisper the words pussy, boobs or tits - and you'd have Lanky Lex shooting through the roof in terrified hysterics. Me, I'm simply not that allergic :) Have actually probed a few breasts in my time and found it soft and squishy - not altogether uncomfortable actually. Although I don't see the sensual seduction of fatty mammaries at the moment, I certainly wouldn't discount finding a woman attractive some day.

A fact that Lex finds utterly disturbing.

Find that funny since I'm sure heterosexual breeder boys out there would find it incomprehensible that we gay boys find dicks and biceps endlessly alluring.

Still you can imagine Lex's astonished reaction when he realized that someone we knew actually tried swinging the straight way before. Totally cliched but it turns out the fella actually experimented with girls in his early salad days.

Lex : OMG! He had sex with a woman! A woman!
Paul : You do know that the majority of men actually do have sex with women? That we're the minority here?
Lex : I know! But he's gay! And he touched a woman!
Paul : You can say it - touched a pussy.
Lex : Eeek! I-I can't!!

Seems like Lex simply can't grasp the idea that human sexuality could be an endless range / continuum rather than a fixed concept of homosexuality or heterosexuality. Obviously he's a skeptic disbeliever of the controversial Kinsey Scale. Flapping his hands wildly at every new revelation from the swinger, Lex became increasingly vocal as he denounced such common heterosexual practices - all the while wincing painfully at the very mention of sexy humps and lady lumps.

As I said before - and will again, Lex is so much more fun with alcohol.

You know, I believe I'll hire him a birthday lap-dance - from a woman - just to see how much he enjoys it. Care to chip in?