The Madness of McWacky

Whoever said that excessive studying doesn't lead to any harm has another think coming. Finally have proof positive that desperately cramming medical textbooks late into the night produces all sorts of erratic behaviour. I believe far too much unwieldy information zapping across the overworked neurons causes a few microstrands to unravel in the brain leading to a palpable hint of insanity.

Don't just take my word for it.

After all I've got my proof right here. Although far from medically proven fact, this is based on personal experience and from my keen observations of a particularly odd specimen named McWacky.

And coming from an oddity like myself, you can imagine how much more peculiar McWacky should be.

Doctors come in all shapes and sizes after all. We've got the perky, over-enthusiastic ones like GungHo Ginny ( and I have to admit Lissome Lorelei as well ), then the cynical bastards like Brash Brandon and me - and then you have the kooky lunatics like McWacky.


Why you looking at me that way?
That's not a straight-jacket! It's a normal jacket!
I swear!
Shades of a benevolent Patch Adams crossed with that spaced-out hobo by the street. Minus the social graces.

I believe medical students should take heed. Obviously holing up in their dens cramming - and eschewing regular social interaction - can lead to patently unhinged behaviour. I can think of at least half a dozen oddities ( and social faux pas ) from Dr McWacky but at the moment let me give you two examples.

This one happened at the pantry where I was lining up to rinse the plates. McWacky here marched up without much ceremony and after mumbling excuse me in his monotonous robotic tone, he proceeded to gradually shove me to the side. When I say gradually, I actually mean John Woo slow-mo slow. Even I was gobsmacked. Found myself far too speechless by such unprecedented behaviour to reply with a stinging retort. Or at least bash him on the head with the mallet.

Come on, it was so shockingly weird that I found it amazing that he's even from our planet. Obviously he finds normal accepted human behaviour far too taxing to emulate.

Then came the other day when I bumped into McWacky on the way home. As work colleagues, normal social interaction would require me to at least acknowledge him with a friendly wave - which I did. Instead of responding in a similar fashion, McWacky continued on his relentless march for at least 10 metres. By that time I'd already given up on any sort of logical behaviour coming from him so I turned away.

Only to see this singular fella pause abruptly in his tracks and reverse his steps. And I mean reverse as in walking backwards ( ? ) rather than making an about turn. Obviously his internal schematics doesn't allow for sudden turnabouts. Then he lifts his arm in a creaky disjointed fashion and mechanically twists his hand in a semblance of a wave. Then resumes on his journey.

Hard to describe. You just gotta be there.

Haven't even gone into the weird things he says. Some days I don't know whether to applaud him for being an unconventional rule-breaker - or to bop him on the wacky noggin. Certainly refreshingly eccentric eh.

And I know what you're gonna ask. McWacky isn't a McDreamy. If he was, I'd have gone bonkers over him already.