Geishas Reborn

Let's face it, we all like to flirt with danger every once in a while.

I'm definitely not immune as well. Why else would I give the occasional flirtatious wink to Karate Kai? Knowing full well that I'd be literally karate-kicked into a blue-black pulp ( or tortured with endless sudoku puzzles! ) if I ever grabbed his toned ass.

But hey, I like the challenge.

And I can run fast enough.

Still I always found it peculiar that despite the raging homosexual badge that he wears proudly, Kai seems to be so unaccountably hostile towards men. So today after an exilarating round of sake, he finally admitted the reason he eschews men in a touching haiku.

He was... raped.

Well not exactly Kai.

Seems like Karate Kai's actually the reincarnation of a vengeful geisha from the Edo Period. The tragic Lady Karate Kitana. Brutally manhandled by a marauding samurai who robbed her of her innocence - and then refused to pay for her invaluable mizuage! Worst of all, the dishonourable bastard then proceeded to tear her one and only precious silk kimono to ribbons.


Hmmm... how do I talk her into giving up her mizuage?!
For that Kitana decided to take her feminine revenge using the secret geisha technique #4 - fighting for the sake of her dishonoured silk kimono with paper umbrella and stiletto-sharp hairpins - as cherry blossoms and samurai blood splattered across the tatami floor. The remaining bodyguards were dispatched speedily with a solid shamisen slam which left their ears ringing. Cleaning up the bloody mess, Kitana buried the brutally murdered samurai under the zen garden and then ended her life harakiri style.

So that summarized tale explains the endless man-hate of Kitana. And now Kai.

BTW turns out I was once Kitana's devoted manservant Paolosaka - who also helped bury the scurrilous lot - so we remain tied even in this life. No wonder Kai understands my inexplicable inner rage so well - though I don't express it quite as he does.

Will just have to make sure to keep the hair pins and umbrellas safely away when he's around.