Return of Spiderman

Years back in medical school, I had a notorious classmate we all dubbed the Amazing Spiderman for his intrepid acts of spanning hostel blocks by leaping across deadth-defying four-storey heights. Though we all suspected his lecherous intention of playing dirty voyeur over in the girls' hostel, the pathetic worm claimed that he preferred the water supply in the girls' washrooms. Hence his evening runs.

A likely story.

And this from a zealot who preaches about religious every morning to an unappreciative, scornful audience - i.e. me.

Even worse... when caught redfaced, our brash Spidey had the gall to appear in our classroom hall - utterly unapologetic - blaming a lascivious phantom demon for inciting his uncontrollable lusts. If I had my way, I'd have had him whipped and hung from the nearest belltower. But I was a shy unassuming sort back then so I only jeered and shot him a finger over his lame-o excuse.

Look, I don't blame him for playing voyeur. If Chris Evans showered next door, I'd be installing high-definition spy cameras all over the place. But I'd willingly admit to committing the crime of passion - have you seen those deliciously furry pecs? - rather than pointing the finger at someone else. It was Love in the First Degree after all!


If I'm already breaking the rules anyway, I'd have gone up the stairs!
But according to his version of the truth, our hyper-religious ( and thoroughly sanctimonious ) Spidey claimed that the aforementioned demon of lust had preyed on his innocent mind wickedly twisting it. A handy scapegoat if you ask me. One of the reasons I've never trusted preachy religious fellas.

A real man would have taken the fall instead. Seriously would have appreciated him a lot more if he'd just admitted to climbing over the fence to drool over naked boobs.

Once I left medical school, I thought that would be the end of Spiderman's lascivious reign but like a bad penny, he has resurfaced again. Just yesterday in fact - though in a totally different guise. Seems like someone else has decided to take on the mantle of Spiderman and foolishly climb up the towers of the girls' dorm.

Only this time Spiderman's promising protege fell to the ground in a decidedly final splat.

Hope he rests in peace but... whatever possessed him to try the feat?! What possible motivation could drive them to attempt such a near-suicidal act? For a lil midnight nookie? To impress the girls?

Don't they ever learn? Rapunzel's beau got blinded - possibly injuring his occipital region when he dropped like an unwieldy rock from her tower. Even Romeo was smart enough to remain safely on the ground while he delivered his soliloquy to his Juliet - and when he made the climb, I bet it wasn't all that high up.