The Holy Book

Though usually irritating pests by nature, religious freaks can occasionally be a source of genuine amusement! For instance, this political issue cropping up recently on the reluctance of an accused sodomizer ( is that even a word? ) to swear on the holy book. Overzealous factions have rallied behind the cause condemning the accused's refusal.

Seriously. Why should he even bother swearing on the holy book? Is swearing on a holy book even vaguely admissible in court? Seems like simple logic flies out the window each time religion is brought into the room.

Look at it this way. Let's assume the fella's guilty. By virtue of murdering, raping and committing every sin known to man, an accused fella ( if he was guilty of the above ) has already broken every religious law written in the book. Would one more - meaning lying - even matter at all? After contravening every other holy statute, would a patent disbeliever even care that divine wrath might strike him dead on that very spot in a blaze of hallowed lightning?

And if he's innocent, would swearing get him out of his criminal charges?


Bang. You dead.
Swell. Does this mean I could run amok slashing innocent folks and then profess my innocence by clutching on to my Bible as lawful protection? I could rename myself the Preacher and join the Fraternity.

Victim : OMG. You stabbed me.
Paul : No, I didn't. Look, I can swear on the Bible if you want me too.
Victim : You're still holding your bloody knife in my chest!
Paul : Oops. Sorry. Lemme remove that.
Victim : Urgh.

Hell, I could swear on a dozen books from the Bible to the Torah.

I think the religious freaks need a rethink. It's the Word that matters - not the recycled paper it's printed on. And the Word wouldn't even matter if there's no faith. Do they honestly think there's a saintly printing press out there that consecrates every publication?

What next? Claiming penitence as a way of getting out of prison?