Anatomi Kelabu / Ampang Medikal

Translated loosely into English from our local Malay, that actually means Grey's Anatomy. Heard from some trusted sources that a new series Ampang Medikal will begin this week based on the hit American drama series with overenthusiastic interns running amuck on the hospital grounds in their first year.

Of course I clapped my hands with glee initially. Not only would it be fun watching poor doctors stumble around like we do, this time we get to see them do so in a local setting. Brings back old memories - imagine a Dr Siti and a Dr Wong squabbling over Mat Steam ( our own version of McSteamy ) in front of a moribund DNR patient.


Spot any Mat Steams ( or McRempits ) amongst that lot?
Well it was originally supposed to be set in Malaysia.

Seems like it's set in a utopia state instead! A nationalistic world where everyone speaks in perfect Malay ( how patriotic! ) during rounds without falling into local slang or even the odd foreign dialect whether Hindi or Cantonese.

And obviously all of us friendly natives no speakee Engleees here.

Which is utter rubbish if you ask me. Somehow despite the rapidly falling standard of the language here, the hospital remains the one area in the government service which deals primarily in the English language. Pathetically broken though it may be, our ward rounds are conducted in English, our orders are given in English and yes, even our notes are written in English.

With nary a written Malaysia Boleh in between.

Trust me on this. It's rare to have a Malaysian Chinese grandmother speak to her grandson in any other language but her own clan dialect ( unless she's Peranakan but that's a whole other story! ). Even more peculiar to have an Indian doctor being spoken to in Malay by an elderly patient of the same race. That almost never happens.

I'll agree to the need to cater to the kampung heartlanders but I believe we're underestimating them! You're talking to a hardy breed who can sit through hours of Venezualan dramas and Korean weepies depending on unreliable subtitles. Surely a bit of local dialect wouldn't faze them.

Isn't it time we accepted that Malaysians speak in an enchanting patois of rojak Malay / English with bits of Indian and Chinese dialects tossed in? After 50 years of independence, isn't that something to be proud of? Of course, Ampang Medikal boasts of a multiracial United Colours cast - so let's hope the token minority Indian / Chinese doesn't get permanently cast into the shade.

Other gripes about the first episode?

1) Wish they'd consulted some local doctors and nurses

Hire a series consultant pronto! Some minute details need to be worked out. Working shifts for house officers that last only 12 hours. What a luxury. Have they ever heard of torturous 24-hour oncalls?

Can someone tell the writers hardly anyone runs all over the hospital in scrubs and crocs in Malaysia - unless they want a serious scold from the persnickety matrons? And removing masks immediately after surgery without taking off their bloody gloves? Eeew. Thank God they called the interns housemen and the residents medical officers. Let's not forget that the British colonials left behind more than their language!

Not to mention the nurses have their own hierarchy as well - probably even stricter than ours. I doubt the nurses would laugh at their sister / matron - oh well, maybe a smirk behind her back. And why does the sister wear the same uniform?

And did anyone notice that the sad monitor in the emergency department only had the ECG onscreen? How tragic. No wonder the patient almost died.

2) Focus on the characters

Seriously. I know Grey's Anatomy focused on patients but it actually took a while before it got to that. The first few episodes dealt mostly with the doctors themselves. We need time to get to know the cast of characters to care.


The cast of Ampang Medikal
No one particularly likable in the cast as yet other than the bubbly Dr Melissa. At this rate, I felt like bopping Dr Siti on her silly lil featherhead too. Getting all weepy over that minute amount of work - judging by the three case notes in front of her? Oh please. That weepy wimp ( who pouted over a little criticism ) wouldn't even last a truly grueling week. WIthout wit nor humour, I don't see how her monologues are gonna carry the show!

And rather than being just plain hawt, their version of McSteamy ( or Mat Steam ) was disgustingly smarmy / sleazy instead - hard to believe any woman ( or man! ) would go for him! Any self-respecting lady would have dealt the womanizing braggart two bitchslaps.

And I believe there were two token minority characters sadly fading into the wallpaper - a Chinese and an Indian - given brief introductory lines each.

3) Damn the soundtrack

Look, I don't need the teeny pseudo Psapp soundtrack playing in my head while the interns run about. Drop that overly familiar soundtrack. We have plenty of local bands around just dying for a break. Isn't it time we gave them a chance? I don't even mind if it's keroncong, I swear.

4) Step up the tempo

Seriously. The pace was so slow, I almost fell asleep waiting for the action. Even the supposedly tense scenes in the emergency setting seemed a lil draggy. And for the lighter moments, we need better scriptwriters with snappy, witty dialogue FAST. A lil comedy, people! Not stupid slapstick but some really sharp oneliners!

As much as I've griped, it's still a welcome beginning for the local media - bravo! - and I do hope it's a roaring success. It's a start.