There seems to be a recurrent theme going on these days and I have been mentioning Big Bicep Barry quite a lot in some of my latest posts. Swear to God I have no idea where I stand with Big Bicep Barry - whether he sees me as a good gym buddy ( God, I can hear lots of people laughing out loud at this comment, including me :) ), a shopping/movie-watching/food-critic faggot freak or perhaps more than a friend. Seriously, if I knew for sure, I'd be making haste for the altar immediately. With the stacks of wedding invitations I've been getting lately, I have decided that there's nothing much I can do to beat them so I've decided to join them in a bid to recoup my monetary losses.
Unfortunately, finding a groom is proving to be the stumbling block. The sheer paucity of gay men in this town is simply disheartening since I've been led to believe that most of them have emigrated to greener pastures. The question of whether Barry is even a registered member of the Pink Squad is still up in the air since I really can't tell. Not only has my rusty gay-dar been out of commission for ages, it's almost impossible to tell with a man like Barry. Last time I pressed him with the Question, all I got was a vague non-committal answer and a smile. And recently when I pressed him for an answer again, all I got was a quick feel of his hard nipples and abs ( contrary to what he says, he does have something cut there ), a quick grin and an admonition to behave myself in public. Okay, we were standing in line for tickets to a movie so it was kinda weird.
Maybe I'd need my super-X-Gay vision..
If he really isn't leaning in my direction, then why are we still going out? Surely I'm not such a scintillating conversationalist ( hey, I know I'm definitely no Chris Evans so it can't be my looks ) that he would take the time and the effort to meet up with me each time I call? Isn't it odd that an obviously gay man and a straight/ambisexual/gay vague man would meet up on a regular basis?
Not sure how I'll ever know the answer for certain... well, unless I strip him down in the gym shower and go at him with my wicked tongue. But if he's still partially in the closet, I'd still likely end up with a fist in my eye ( at the very least ). Then again, I might escape unscathed from his wrath since the man has claimed to be a wimpy pacifist ( so why the hell hasn't he offered to make love not war? ).
So what do I do when I have such funny semi-suicidal thoughts in my head? I head for my blessed sanctuary, the one place I can clear my mind in peace and solitude ( sort of ), breathe a little while and think. The shopping mall. Sigh!
So after I found out that I had a free two days and my ex ( yes, my ISO is still very much alive, never fear! ) had a hotel room in Johor Bahru, I packed my bags and headed down south. What can I say? Wingedman Will's saucy bits about his latest Singapore expedition and his exploits with various hot dogs left me a little homesick for Orchard Road.
So that's where I've been for the past two days or so, blowing my recently resuscitated finances on Christmas gifts. Somehow or rather my ISO - who knows way more about the techno stuff than me - has managed to rig up his computer to be able to surf online somehow. Evil bastard but still a brilliant bastard. Then again, anyone would know much more than me since I actually know nothing :) Almost embarassed to say this but it's actually taken me a while to even master messaging on the cell. Don't even ask me about multimedia messaging.
12 comments:
I've actually tried that! Unfortunately he lives with his family - quite common here - and they would find it odd if he didn't return home for a night.
Paul
i think if they don't deny it outright or get abit annoyed, it is quite obvious...ESPECIALLY when u have come out to them already...any straight guy would keep the boundaries clear in front of a gay friend...also i am curious what is the 'specific Q' u ask and how do they reply? I am REALLY curious as i would never know how to ask someone that Q...
I know it may sound like a huge faux pas, but maybe you should just ask him the other question ... i.e. not whether he's gay (the confrontational one), but whether you have any hope at all that he might become interested in you as more than just a friend.
If you put your cards on the table and tell BBB honestly that you're attracted to him, then you can ask him whether there's any hope he could be attracted to you, or whether you should just give it up as a lost cause. Somehow I really don't think he's going to fetch you a right hook just for saying that. It's paying him a compliment, after all. And it's only fair that he should let you know where you stand.
But yeah, I know it's easier said than done. And Christmas shopping is good retail therapy. :o)
invite him over for a movie and get all cuddly while watching it? I'm confused.. he obviously is sending you some signals, sounds like perhaps he is confused as to what he "wants" to be?
Came along *every* time you called? And after you touched his nipples and abs he was still *grinning*?
BBB definately likes you. Hopefully, he likes you but just doesn't know how to deal yet rather than something else that I'd rather not mention right now.
Hrugaar's suggestion sounds good. Gotta love straight forward questions. If not, there's method 2. Keep going out, but slowly increase body contact and proximity, and 'romace value' of locale. If he enjoys it, eventually it'd be hard for him to resist stopping so he'll come around by himself.
Oh, just ask him again.
yeah... you have to ask.. the answer is bound to be an anti-climax though - you've already worked yourself high up over whichever way it might swing! :)
but seriously... HOW CAN U NOT KNOW?!?!
if u hjaven't found out in 7 days i am going to come down to malacca and whip u
canardbidon ... if you go down to Malacca to whip Paul, may I come along and watch? ;oP
C'mon buddy - got for the kill and see if he responds. Either way, you've got nothing to lose, and at least a new blog post to gain!
Well, hcpen, I asked a simple question. I just said 'are you gay?' I don't see how someone could miscontrue such a question.
maida, I almost forgot till seconds before I left. Then I made him swear on his grandmother's grave that he'd erase the history and neve look up my blog. He's honourable most times.
ru, I'm ballsy but even that kinda question makes me cringe. So I'm still keeping my options open and not hanging too many expectations on this. Any takers?
jjd, I'm confused myself. :)
Daniel, we've already gone to romantic locales like Howard's. How sentimental can I get? :)
canard, I still have no idea but if he does turn out to be straight, would you come over with some whipped cream and cuffs? :)
Jay, I've gotta get very drunk to do something as wild as that :) But will think about it.
Paul
Paul, Any takers for what? (sorry, brain cell not functioning under all this catarrh, bleargh).
Okay, just take BBB to the movies and hold his hand when the lights go out ... and nothing more 'sexually hostile' than that. Because maybe he's old fashioned, and wants the romance before the sexual advances. :o) If he holds your hand back, even for a moment, then that's a good sign he's open for future negotiations.
Just peck the guy (BBB of coz :P) on his cheek. If he return the gesture later perhaps you would have a chance to peck on the square and center :P
Would you be stunned if I've already done what you said, ru? :) Thought of pecking him on the cheek but that's gonna take some guts, Pete. I'll need to work up to that.
Paul
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