Thursday, May 19, 2005

Darth Paul

Like any obsessive fan of the Stars Wars franchise, I waited patiently in line at the theatres for ( since I wasn't lucky enough like my idiot ISO to score tickets for the premiere - he offered to bring me but I had work... dammit! ) the Revenge of the Sith. And I'm glad I waited! :) Definitely a worthy addition to the sexology - can I call it that? And who knew that Hayden Christensen had been hiding an impressive six-pack underneath those baggy Jedi clothes? I'd definitely be tempted to see the Dark Side of his Force anytime.

While watching though, I came to the sad conclusion that I would never make it as a chivalrous Jedi knight. A terrible disillusionment especially coming on the heels of the fact that according to reliable sources, I'm also far more suited for the House of Slytherin but that's something else entirely - and a totally different franchise altogether.

Darth Vader


It seems pretty obvious that I'm more suited for enlistment on the ranks of the dastardly Sith Lords. I don't think I could make it on listening to logic and reason alone since I rely quite a lot on gut feeling and emotion. And I wouldn't ever think of distancing myself from the ones I love. Not to mention the neverending preaching about the good and the worthy? Gaining strength through contemplation and passivity? Oh please! I'd prefer giving people the wicked, scary-eyed stare, slashing people who offend me into tiny, bite-sized pieces and riding around in flattering ( and slimming ) black robes that flutter so dashingly in the breeze.

And that celibacy clause in the ascetic Jedi contract? Please. I'd jump on the closest sexy clone I can find and ream out his Dark Side. That mind-altering ability performed so well by Obiwan Kenobi would help tons!

Darth Paul in the making?

5 comments:

Angie said...

I want to see that movie SO bad!!! But it just opened today and Drew absolutely refuses to go with me until it's been out at least a week :(

Oh well, soon (I hope).

Xo,
Aimee

grave_creek said...

ohhh..imagine paul saying " luke skywalker i am your father ,or rather your gay surrogate father!!lol!!!" now the question is,would darth paul be naked beneath his dark cape??? as aimee's husband said, " wanna see my light saber??" lol!!!
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!!

Anonymous said...

Hm. Paul, I say this with as much love and respect as I can muster:

YOU NEED TO GET LAID, BIG TIME!

Now, having said that, please continue on with your life. Believe me, I know of what I speak. It's gotten to the point where I fantasize about nearly every guy that crosses my path. Get laid, Paul. Get laid. ;)

Sven said...

who knew that Hayden Christensen had been hiding an impressive six-pack - alas that seems to be all he has :( I'm starting to see a pattern of male models going actors, and it's really just on looks. Seems that goes for Lost-cast as well. Oh well, not ready for a crusade about that just yet..

So did you feel my good thoughts envelope you around the 4th and 19th?

savante said...

Getting laid big time is a lil hard to do. The easiest guy I can get my hands on is my ISO - and although he would certainly be game for it, I don't think that's a path that I can tread lightly over. And there's no one else around that I have the least bit of feeling for - well, apart from the cute Myanmar waiter I talked about sometime back. Have had some wild thoughts about that one.

Where have you been, Sven? So glad to have you back!

Paul